I've been implementing this principle for a long time. But sometimes I'm not consistent. Sometimes I said yes, when I should have said no. And then there is regret. Regret why I was so weak and succumb to temptation.
So now I held my head high and be confident with my choice. If I already have a commitment to certain goal or certain someone, I won't say yes too easily because that could distract me from completing my tasks.
There are 2 things that we should say no to:
a. Time Robbery
We only have limited hours to do what we need to do and what we want to do. We have obligation and responsibility that requires us time and energy to finish it. If we keep allowing other people to interrupt our already limited time, then how can we be closer to completion? Even if it was for a good intention, we should discipline ourselves and say no to extra things that doesn't help us get faster to our destinations.
I had my own case of time robbery. Few years ago I worked in a very highly operating team. We were very solid and work hard together. I could easily went into overtime because I have many projects and tasks to complete. We were close to each other, so when someone suggested we have a team outing, I unwittingly said yes.
At that time I already have a family : my husband and my mom. Sometimes I feel guilty when I have to work from home. Not only I bring my job home, I still working from home, while I should have spend more time with them. I already have 40 hours a week away from them, and now, I even taxing their time with me because I misplaced my priorities.
The team outing has been arranged and it happens on the same day of my husband's birthday. I told him this only takes 2 hours. Just 2 hours. Then I'm yours for the rest of the day. He was very understanding and wish me to have fun with my teammates. So here I go, with all of my coworkers, went to see a movie in Cinetopia, our favorite movie theater. While I watched the movie, something is nagging at me. I felt uneasy. I thought,"I should have spend the time with my husband and my mom, celebrating his birthday, making his day special! Instead, what am I doing here?"
Don't get me wrong. It is important to have a good relationship with your teammates. After all, they're the ones that support you and they are critical for your success at your job. But, after the clocking hours, it is your family time. It is your personal time. Your family is important too, and actually it's more important than your job. Why? Because they're the ones who pick up the pieces when your job say goodbye to you. When your job no longer need you, they're the ones who will be beside you when you're hunting another jobs. Jobs to support your family.
From that moment, I vow to not overmix my priorities. I limit my time to my work, because I need to set aside my time with my family, ... and with myself! I won't let anyone rob my time anymore. I won't let anyone dictate what should I do with my day, my hour, even my minute. I don't want to live with regret because I didn't spend time with the ones who matter the most.
Don't let time robber steal your precious time. You can't get it back.
b. Draining Environment
There are certain people in our lives that continues being a drama queen, drama king, blow up small things to big things, and draining our energy. They are everywhere. They constantly seeking our attention, begging our sympathy, or simply undermining us so they can feel better about themselves. This is what the experts labeled as "toxic people".
There's only one thing that we should do to toxic people. Keep your boundaries. Say no. You don't have enough time already with your life, why should you spare another moment to let them crowding your plates? I'm not being mean, but seriously, if these same people keep hindering you away from your happiness and your goals, then why?
Disconnect. Cut it loose. Just like a bad investment, you have to know when to get out.
I'm not saying that you have to completely ignore him/her and gave them a silent treatment. I'm just saying no to that draining behavior. You can still have a relationship with them, but the minute they start complaining, get out. Excuse yourself. "I'm sorry, I have to go." Don't give them the reason why. Explaining doesn't make things better. They won't understand. If they truly a good friend, they won't hold grudge to you. Beside, you do have other important priorities to do, right?
Limit your exposure to a draining environment. Surround yourself with uplifting environment. With people who truly loves you, care about you, and support you no matter what. Choose your environment wisely.
Conclusion:
Keep saying no is a positive attitude. If you keep saying no to the wrong things, eventually you'll say yes to the right thing. It'll make your "YES" priceless.
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