Focus Forward

Sometimes things happen unexpectedly.

Sometimes things happen the way we don't predict.

It just came out of nowhere.

The last 12 months have been rough.
The last 6 months have been horrible.
The last 3 months have been challenging.
The last month have been intense.

I've been walking on a shaky ground for a very long time. I used to be so optimistic with my future, but I forgot that this future I imagine, is involving other people. And when you involve other people, you'll risk uncertainty. Because people could be unpredictable. Their nature could change, evolving into something that you never see before. And now suddenly, we're at the point where that future is compromised. Is tainted. Is going to be replaced with something totally new and unclear.

Basically, simply put, the life I hope and dream, is gone. It's not going to be there anymore.

Now I'm going to have to paint a different mental image of my future. It could be scary. But exciting at the same time. I could be creative. I could throw different alternative and scenarios. Or I can just let the future envelop into something that will surprise me.

I learned that our struggles reveal who we really are. I keep thinking and feeling the pain that has been caused from those uncontrollable situations I'm in. No matter what I try and do, it seems that it won't change the outcome. Since I don't have any control of what the outcome will be, I'll just focus on what I can control. On what I can do.

In the midst of all these drama, I found an inner circle of friends that were there and are still there to support me in daily basis. They continue to cheer me on, remind my self worth, and just being there for me. I will be forever grateful for their presence. Their attention and their love for me are just so many things that I fortunate to have! They lend their wings to me, lift my spirit up, and don't let me fall back down to the bottomless pit of despair. They encourage me to keep focus forward on what lies ahead. Don't linger in the past too much and just use the pain to make me stronger. I am very surprised to see so many willing hearts opening up to me, and so many strong hands extended to me. I am so lucky to have them in my life, at the right moment.

Life is a balance of everything.

It's not one aspect of my life is more important than the other. Everything need to be balanced. I used to think that family is more important than work and friendship. How I was wrong! These past times had proven to me that family could be the very resource of your downfall. And when that happen, somehow my work and my friends save me from keep falling deeper. I don't know what I would do without them.  So now I learn to value things they way they are. Not placing more priority over another. Everything is important. Family is important, so does work, and so does friendship.

And so does self-love and self-improvement. I think sometimes I neglect this area so much because I was so consumed on what's going on around me. I forgot to focus in me.

Well, the good news is, now with the new situation ahead of me, I will have plenty of time to self-reflect and really think of what I'd like my life will be. I'm going to use the pain to help me focus forward. To keep moving on. Understand what's my next goal I want to achieve, and working towards it. Understand that I need to be kind to myself and not let me keep pushing for something that will drain my energy. I need to stop obsessing of the event of the past. Put one feet in front of the other and keep walking towards my destination.

No use crying over a spilled milk.