Here I am... sitting in the corner of Starbucks Coffee at Washington Square Mall, 4.30 pm, waiting my husband to come and pick me up after he finish work. Mellow jazzy song is teasing me softly while I zapping my green tea latte, thinking about how drastic the change of my well-being. 4 to 5 years ago, I will never thought that this is the life that I will have. Don't get me wrong.... I love it! Every bit of it!
As I look through the window I saw many cars parked in a very big huge spacious parking lot. The parking lot itself is mixed between giant trees and beautiful scenery over flying highway I-5. And don't forget, this is fall season. I see some leaves of high standing trees change colors to red, purple, fuschia, and yellow. Very very soothing. So beautiful.
Gee.......... 5 years ago... all I saw in Sudirman street was full of tall buildings, and macetness (I'd rather not translate macet to traffic jam because it's already a word!) But now... totally different view. Clear blue skies with a little dazzling cumulus clouds, people walking across the stress, children running in a cozy free-smoking environment. This make me think again about my past, my families in Indonesia, my old friends, ... how I want to go back to myself few years ago! I really love what I am today, but there's always a tiny part of me screaming,"I wanna go home!"
I kept asking questions to myself : Am I be ever able to go back home? I star blankly at my cup of Fruit, Yogurt, & Granola Parfait. (Does Starbucks Indo have one of these? These are awesome!!!!!!) I never can answer that (answer when I can go home, not answer is there any parfait or not!). I guess we'll just wait and see what happen next. As I love living in United States, I also miss live in Indo. I do really glad I grew up in Indo. =)
Well.... since I still don't know what my future may hold, I mind as well continue on my sudoku puzzle. This one is tough. I've been working this sudoku for the past 15 minutes just to finish one square! Gosh! While scrapping the last pieces of my parfait, I think about what will I make up for dinner. At least I can think of this now. Maybe a sausage sandwich with oniony coleslaw lettuce. Hopefully Lloyd (my hubby) will like it. Whenever Lloyd likes my cooking, I felt like I've just won a million bucks! Another funny things that I never imagine will happen after married...
And now this is sunset. How very peaceful can it be? I look at the window again & I just saw a pair of birds chirping around, a mommy strolling her kids, & a nice Honda sedan just passed by to out of to mall. Some things are mend to be viewed.. just like now. Viewing nothing. Or viewing life? Left me a feeling of secure, warm, and peace of mind. Time really flies when you have fun (although now my friends at Indo will laugh at me for describing SITTING QUIETLY IN A COFFEE CORNER as fun!) Totally opposite of what I pictured fun when I was in Indo!!!
As it gets darker & darker outside, I felt a lil bit chilly here. Ah, I forget... summer is gone. The air conditioner here is the same temperature as an hour ago, but perhaps the grey scenery outside make me kinda blue. I smile at myself, I never think my life will be like this. I'm on top of the world.
Ini nih kantor gue yang kelima nih! Semoga ini menjadi tempat kerjaan gue yang terakhir.. I don't mind dipromosi, tapi semoga gue gak perlu pindah ke company lain, begitu maksud gue..
Di sini gue kerja sebagai Collections Representative, dimana inti dari job descriptionnya tuh adalah menelpon orang2 yang telat bayar kartu kredit HSBC mereka, menelpon orang2 yang menunggak atau bahkan overlimit their credit card. Trainingnya 6 minggu! Dan yang bikin gue hepi tuh kerjaannya gak terlalu fisik seperti vault teller di Us bank, dan gak ada tuh acara dikejar2 target bulanan semacam di Stanchart atau Commonwealth.
Mungkin temen2 gue pikir ini kerjaan rendahan (maklum lah, mereka kan udah jadi boss besar di Indo, ada yang udah jadi Branch Manager, ada yang udah jadi General Manager, dll lah), tapi bagi gue pribadi, gue nggak ngejar karir lagi, karena biasanya kalo gue mau ngejar karir (misalnya jadi teller coordinator atau branch manager di us bank), harus sacrifice jam kerja (kerja lebih lama alias lembur) atau bahkan sacrifice anak buah... atau bahkan.. stress sendiri karena dikejar2 target. Gue udah alergi deh sama yang namanya target.. hihihihi
And sebetulnya sih kerjaan ini bukan kerjaan rendahan, terbukti dari level gaji yang ditawarkan pada gue, yang 30% lebih tinggi dari posisi gue terakhir di US bank. Bahkan lebih tinggi dari banker..=) Oh ya, trainingnya itu lho...6 minggu! Very intensif & komprehensif. Truz benefit2nya banyak sekali, seperti medical insurance, dental, vision, dll yang jauh lebih baik dari US Bank.. (apalagi dibanding sama Stanchart atau Comm, jangan tanya deehhhh)
Intinya.. I'm happy! I'm truly are! Oh ya, yang bikin gue juga hepi tuh.. di cafetaria kantor gue ada kokinya! Masakannya enak2 pula.. hehehehe... =)
So I hope this will be my last workingplace, kan seru juga kalo ditanya orang, udah berapa lama kerja di HSBC & gua bisa jawab... oh 5 tahun, oh 7 tahun.. hehehehe
I never know that saying goodbye will be the hardest thing to do. Well, actually I kinda know that kind of feeling, because there are so many times in my life that I have to face "the goodbye masks"... But anyway, one thing that made me realize is that feeling.. that feeling of never be able to see those people you like anymore (for a while.. or maybe forever?).. that kind sad of feeling really make my heart ache..
Today is my last day at US Bank. I've been working with the bank for a year, particularly in Washington Square Branch at city of Tigard. This is not my first time leaving a company. But.... to be honest, this is the first time I cried of leaving everything behind me. I really do. Why I cried? I don't know. I just know that everybody there really loves me. Weird, isn't it?
My bosses (Dianne & Jonathan) took me for a lunch at Cheesecake Factory Restaurant, and then I receive so many gift from my coworkers & my customers (including free glass of beer & oreo cookies). Dianne also made me a handmade crystal bracelet that cost a fortune!!! Vincent gave me dried plums & apples. Sue, Cindy, Lina, & Gavin give me a very big hug. I really felt numb...
And finally, in my final hours there, they all just hug me & cried (together with me! huh!).. and they said this to me,"Peggy, there's always a place for you here. So if you don't like your new job (at HSBC), you can always comeback. We always open our door for you..". How sad is that?! I'm leaving them & they still open a spot just for me!
Tears are just flowing away when I drove away from the bank's parking lot. Really. I really don't know why I cried, but, i really sad leaving them =(
Suddenly, all memories of goodbyes came back to my mind like a flash. Like a flashback. I remember when I said goodbye to my mama & papa at Portland Airport.. right after my wedding night. Right before my honeymoon. I owe them a hug!
I remember when I said goodbye to Vivi, Sutoyo, Thedu, and Roy at Bandara Internasional Soekarno-Hatta at Jakarta, right before my one-way ticket plane leaves to America. March 4,2005 before 7 pm.
I remember when I said goodbye to all of my friends at Commonwealth Bank. They all gathering in our meeting room at Feb 28,05.. gave me wedding presents, and wish me luck for a new life in new continent...
And weirdly, I remember when I said goodbye to Standard Chartered Bank. This bank means a lot to me, they made me who I am today. I will always forever in debt to all my colleagues in Standard Chartered Bank, every single one of them. I wish I can hug them and say thank you for their contribution in my life. They shaped me to who I am today.
I also remember when I have to say goodbye to my sweetie Lloyd.. when he has to return to America (this is when he visited me, long before we married). Really feel sad, really shocked, really numb. Can't face the reality. Don't want to face the reality.
And now.. reality hits me back, strikes me hard, and whatever happens tomorrow, will be something that I cannot turn my back to. I'm happy that I'll start working at HSBC soon, but in the same time I also sad to not be a part of US Bank anymore. Very tragic thing, isn't it?
One thing I learn more about myself now is... saying goodbye is the thing I hate the most...
