Saying Goodbye is the Hardest Thing to Do

I never know that saying goodbye will be the hardest thing to do. Well, actually I kinda know that kind of feeling, because there are so many times in my life that I have to face "the goodbye masks"... But anyway, one thing that made me realize is that feeling.. that feeling of never be able to see those people you like anymore (for a while.. or maybe forever?).. that kind sad of feeling really make my heart ache..

Today is my last day at US Bank. I've been working with the bank for a year, particularly in Washington Square Branch at city of Tigard. This is not my first time leaving a company. But.... to be honest, this is the first time I cried of leaving everything behind me. I really do. Why I cried? I don't know. I just know that everybody there really loves me. Weird, isn't it?

My bosses (Dianne & Jonathan) took me for a lunch at Cheesecake Factory Restaurant, and then I receive so many gift from my coworkers & my customers (including free glass of beer & oreo cookies). Dianne also made me a handmade crystal bracelet that cost a fortune!!! Vincent gave me dried plums & apples. Sue, Cindy, Lina, & Gavin give me a very big hug. I really felt numb...

And finally, in my final hours there, they all just hug me & cried (together with me! huh!).. and they said this to me,"Peggy, there's always a place for you here. So if you don't like your new job (at HSBC), you can always comeback. We always open our door for you..". How sad is that?! I'm leaving them & they still open a spot just for me!

Tears are just flowing away when I drove away from the bank's parking lot. Really. I really don't know why I cried, but, i really sad leaving them =(

Suddenly, all memories of goodbyes came back to my mind like a flash. Like a flashback. I remember when I said goodbye to my mama & papa at Portland Airport.. right after my wedding night. Right before my honeymoon. I owe them a hug!

I remember when I said goodbye to Vivi, Sutoyo, Thedu, and Roy at Bandara Internasional Soekarno-Hatta at Jakarta, right before my one-way ticket plane leaves to America. March 4,2005 before 7 pm. 

I remember when I said goodbye to all of my friends at Commonwealth Bank. They all gathering in our meeting room at Feb 28,05.. gave me wedding presents, and wish me luck for a new life in new continent...

And weirdly, I remember when I said goodbye to Standard Chartered Bank. This bank means a lot to me, they made me who I am today. I will always forever in debt to all my colleagues in Standard Chartered Bank, every single one of them. I wish I can hug them and say thank you for their contribution in my life. They shaped me to who I am today.

I also remember when I have to say goodbye to my sweetie Lloyd.. when he has to return to America (this is when he visited me, long before we married). Really feel sad, really shocked, really numb. Can't face the reality. Don't want to face the reality.

And now.. reality hits me back, strikes me hard, and whatever happens tomorrow, will be something that I cannot turn my back to. I'm happy that I'll start working at HSBC soon, but in the same time I also sad to not be a part of US Bank anymore. Very tragic thing, isn't it?

One thing I learn more about myself now is... saying goodbye is the thing I hate the most...