C = Ctrl-M + Ctrl-F

Few days ago I had an outburst with my friend. We disagreed on a petty topic. It's funny how little things could be escalated into a bigger incident.  Several hours later, we made up and be friends again. I calmed down and revisited the situation with a clearer head. We laughed about it and decided to move on.

That's when I realized that I need to work on my "C" skill. The "Calm" skill. The skill where you have total control of your mind and your emotion. The skill where when it's mastered, it will be your biggest defense against anything that tried to rob your peace. The skill that I need to practice in each and every day.

My father once told me,"It's all in the mind". In Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian language) : Semua itu ada di pikiranmu. He taught me to control my mind, and not let my mind wander around and be uncontrollable.

And now I look at my husband. He's one of the calmest person I've ever known. Nothing really provokes him or make him stress. I see him living a happier life than me (because I always stress about something, and sometimes for temporary things not worth stressing!). I also see how my dad lived a happy stress-free life too. It's all because both men were able to control their minds perfectly.

The second aspect of control is our emotion. Control our feeling. Crazy isn't it? How does one control feeling? This by far, is the most difficult thing for me to do. How can I be happy when I'm sad? How I can be peaceful when I'm concerned about something? (again, most of the times, it's for something silly that I shouldn't worry about! but alas!).

The good news is, I can always practice it. When there are things bugging me, I just said to myself,"Is this important in the next 5 years?". If it's not (and mostly is not, really), then I'll just dismiss it. I train myself hard for this part. I used to not control my feelings and let my feelings dictate my behavior, but not anymore. This time, I disciplined myself. If let's say someone said something insulting to me, instead of being influence on what he or she says, I'll just "discard" what they say and let it pass by. In Indonesian, we have a phrase,"Masuk kuping kiri, keluar kuping kanan". It means goes to the left ear, and out from the right ear. Just let it pass.

Conclusion:
C = Ctrl-M + Ctrl-F.
Calm is controlling your mind and feeling.