A Different Happiness

Once upon a time ago, I thought that I will be happier after I achieve either a certain status, finish a goal, or acquire something in life.

Boy, I was wrong.

I found out that happiness is not after a goal, after a finished task, after a graduation, after marriage, after Friday, after 5pm, after this, or after that.

Happiness is a CURRENT state of mind.

I found that no matter what is the situation, whether we are still in the journey on getting to our goals, finish line, or a certain accomplishment in our life, we need to continue to maintain our happiness level.

And also, I don't think it's happier now than in the past. I don't think we will be happier in the future rather than now, or vice versa. I think no matter what, past, present, future, if we are by nature a happy person, then we will be happy again.

Happy in the past.
Happy in the present.
Happy in the future.

It's a different kind of happiness.

The happy me in 2014 is different than the happy me in 2019. But it's still a happy time. The past is not all bad, there are some goodness in it too. It mold you until today. It builds your character. So don't throw away everything of the past. Just throw away the bad. Remember the good times. Cherish the happy moments.

Someone once told me, that he will be happier with another person. With another family.

So I test his theory.

I once had a family name M, L, and T.
Now I have a new family name G, J, and A.

And I am comparing between the two now. Am I happiER with my new family?

I would say, I am happy with the new one. But I was happy too with the old one. Why? Because they are different people. I had happiness with M, L, T in a special way. They touched my heart and made my life to the better. Now, my new family G, J, and A, they make me so happy too! They touched my heart in a surprising way that I never knew before! I love both families. Good and bad times.

Technically, I would love to live with everyone, live happily ever after.

But, of course it will be unrealistic of me, since the old family live in a different lifetime. Different land. That time has past. Gone. It's as if I want to live with my P again across the globe, in the previous century, but I can't, he already passed away 11 years ago.

Beside I'm focusing my life with my new loving family now. I'm enjoying this new kind of happiness! The joy, the laughter, the giggles, the concern, the chaos, the perfection, the everything in between. Enjoying small things in life and be grateful of what and who are given to you (read: to be trusted under your care).

It's a different happy. It's still happiness nonetheless.

Happy is happy. That's it. Simple.

One more thing. I think to be truly happy, you have to work for it. You have to want to be happy. You have to willing to do the work to be happy. That means, you have to try your best to get out from whatever it is that makes you unhappy. I know it's hard. If it's easy, everyone will already do it.

Happiness is a choice. Happiness is an effort. Happiness doesn't happen by accident. There is a conscious and continuous work (not physical work of course, more like a mental work). You have to make the decision to get out from the slump, and be happy again.

How to be happy?
1. Smile. Lift up the corners of your lips and smile.
2. Gratitude. This is the biggest action that will pull you towards the real happiness.
3. Be content. Don't burden yourself with irrational goals or insatiable wants. Have an "enough" mentality and accept your situation. You have everything you need. You don't have to always get all  you want. It's fine to have goals (we need too sometimes!), but don't let it make you unhappy.

Happy is a verb, right? So there you go. Easy.

BE HAPPY. Start today. Start now. :)