10th Years Wedding Anniversary

It was our 10th years wedding anniversary last week.

Wow - is it a decade already?

My husband, me, and my mother celebrated it in Petra House Restaurant - a Mediterranean cuisine for this occasion.  Nothing fancy, just simple down-to-earth get-together.  And the food were definitely yummy! :)

So what this 10 years journey means for me?  I truly feel blessed and lucky to have a husband as my dearest one.  Why?

1. He is patient.
2. He is funny.
3. He cares.
4. He fixed broken things.
5. He is peaceful.
6. He is simple.
7. He is smart.
8. He is strong.
9. He is handsome.
10. He loves me!

I love my husband just the way he is, and I'm happy that he accepts me just the way I am.  What a lovely marriage it is to be in! ♥

"Don't Worry, Be Happy"

Does being happy means to laugh all the time?  To smile all the time?

I think not.

I think... being happy is more likely means "being content".  It doesn't mean that we should smile, giggle, and laugh all the time like some silly person.  But be content - with what you had, have, and probably don't have - is a skill that one can try to develop anytime.  It's not something that you born with, but something that you practice day by day.

It is easy to find reason to not be happy and content.  But I think we should see the bigger picture.  It would be nice indeed to have everything and experience all the things that our heart desires, but the reality is it's nearly impossible to hit everything in the checklist.  Why?  Because as human, we are yearning for more, better, and progressive situation in life.

But be content while you're not having everything and perhaps even experiencing challenges - now that I called that mastery.  Understanding that life may not be perfect but everything still going upwards, perhaps not now but eventually.

Suddenly I just got a song stuck in my head while writing this blog: "Don't Worry, Be Happy".

Have a good day! :)

Dining : In or Out?

What our family did (and still do) to be one step closer for financial independence, is discontinue dining out in restaurants.  We love going to restaurants to celebrate special occasions or just to spend our weekend in the norm.  Or just a random passing up unfamiliar territory and have that sudden craving of trying out something new.  It’s a family tradition since I was a little girl.  We love trying out new restaurants, new themes, new flavors, and spending quality time together.  However, with a bigger goal in line to manage our finances wisely, and thinking ahead of our future, my family and I revisit our budget, and decide to take a proactive approach on taking control of our money back.  After all, we don’t want to outlive our money and have nothing in the future retirement days.  That would be a bleak future!

At first, it was difficult to break the old habit of not going out to restaurants.  But we've made a commitment and would love to see it through.  We start using kitchen again to cook our meals.  We utilize fresh ingredients from our local produce markets and get innovative with alternating recipes.  We use whatever available on the market that day.  My family enjoy the time we spend together both in the kitchen and at the dining table. 

Soon, we see a dramatic changes in our finances.  It’s a huge saving for our family by converting restaurants menus with home cook dishes.  A typical restaurant bill for a family of three will cost you average of $50, and obviously you have to add tax and gratuity in every occasion.  While the expenses of producing the similar dishes are not as nearly as half the cost.  Okay, perhaps we don’t have a commercial stove or top-notch range, but you don’t really need the most superior culinary items for just an everyday meal.  Any cooking utensils you have will be enough.  The most expensive ingredients you’ll need to buy is meat, and $5-$10 can stretch your budget along the way.  Once in a while there might be a seafood sale and you can get $9.99 for a pound of fresh salmon, which feed for family of three.  Just add fragrant jasmine rice or roasted potatoes on the side, and you can call it a day!  This doesn't cost you as much as dining out in your local fine dining establishments, which will charge you at least $5 or more for just a salad bowl.

And don't forget, some meals can be extended as the next day leftovers and taste even better.  A pan of lasagna can last for a while, who can really eat all of them in a day?

The best thing about cutting dining out, is that you actually can explore unlimited version of producing meals that will fit your budget and your mood of the day.  You can go Indian, Chinese, Italian, any time.  In the long run, making your own homemade meals are healthier (as you know exactly what you put in each dishes) and friendlier for your wallet.  In the last few months our family saved around $400-$500 a month by not going to any restaurants at all.  What a saving!  It was a relief to see this new habit comes to a fruition.  It was a success we accomplished as a family!

Dining out now is just another luxury, no longer a ritual weekly habit. :)

Red Cliff

One of the best movie I've ever seen is... Red Cliff.  Not going into details of the story here, as this Wikipedia link will reveal more info, but I'd like to share why I felt this movie is one of my favorites.

1.  The story line was unexpected, full of twist and plots.  Unpredictable - which is an indicator of a great movie.  Make us glued to the screen.

2. Beautifully arranged.  The battle scene are not the same as those typical war movies.  There are tensions and previous scenes which build up enough pressure leading to the climax.  Especially the last battle in the night time.  Brilliant!

3.  Mystical.  This movie takes you to summer of year 208 AD.  Imagine that.  Year 208!  And China is already full of war masterminds and strategists and politics advisers.  History lessons became alive and exciting!

4.  The casts played important roles and each of them are so deep into the character.  Well, Tony Leung and Takeshi Kaneshiro alone already a household name for Chinese/Mandarin movies.  The result?  Powerful on-screen partnership.

John Woo made a fantastic, top-notch, over-the-top movie, and I would like to see it over & over again.  I wish and hope there are more new movies like this one! ♥

Homemade Buttermilk

Ok, I'm putting this homemade buttermilk recipe in here so I don't forget! :)  Also, I'd like to share some info that might useful for all of us who like to cook!

1 cup buttermilk = 1 cup milk + 1 tablespoon vinegar.

Since I only use 1/4 cup buttermilk in my homemade banana bread, I'll just use 1 teaspoon vinegar in 1/4 cup milk.  Sometimes we have few too-ripe bananas, so I end up always making "accidental" banana bread.  Just like last week.  For variety, I've incorporated cheddar cheese.  (Jadinya roti pisang keju dech!)

That's it for now, see you in my next blog!

12 Basic Human Needs vs Maslow's Hierarchy of Motives

Growing up, I've been taught that there are 3 basic human needs (food, clothes, house), 3 secondary human needs (I forgot what are them), and 3 tertiary human needs (luxury, stuff that you don't really need to live on but nice to have).

But recently,  I came across an article that detailed 12 basic human needs, which somewhat similar to what my elementary teacher taught me, and yet there are some different factors tied to it.

The 12 basic human needs - today's modern version - are:
1. Family/Kinship
2. Health & Well-Being (Nutrition, Diet, etc)
3. Home/Shelter
4. Economic Security (Income, Savings, Budget, Retirement, etc)
5. Work/Career
6. Learning
7. Spirituality (Religion, Arts, etc)
8. Environment safety
9. Transportation/mobility
10. Community
11. Social Relationships
12. Leisure (Travel, Vacation, etc)

This make me think back of Maslow's pyramid of human needs.  In this theory, basically the basic needs must be fulfilled first before we can progress to the next one on top of it.  I think it's true.

So I can't help but wonder if the modern 12 basic needs illustrated in a web figure could really be declared as basic needs?  You can't have leisure if you don't have any food at all (let's say in a case of war or famine).  But you still can skip leisure (okay, not altogether, but perhaps just a little bit.  Just an hour of TV time) as long as you're healthy, safe, and secure.

I think all of this is just interesting to ponder. :)

Baked Mustard Chicken

I've been making breadcrumbs chicken (Indonesian translation : ayam goreng panir) since I was 13, and normally I use eggs as the binder between the flour and the breadcrumbs parts.  But when I came across this recipe last night on an app in Kindle, I thought it was clever to replace the "eggs" part with "mustard"!  This one doesn't even use flour as the first step, so it's kinda a healthier version of the breadcrumbs chicken.  No frying too, so you can avoid the negative aspect of saturated oil!

I've tweaked the recipe a little bit and settle with this one below.  Putting it here so next time I can make it again and again and again! :)  Hope you will give it a try and enjoy it too!

Ingredients:
Chicken:
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts.
1 cup Panko breadcrumbs
Salt, Pepper
Paprika powder
Dried Basil

Mustard Sauce:
1/4 cup Dijon mustard (or any of your fave's mustard brand)
2 tablespoon honey
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
Dash of hot sauce

How to make it:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
2. In a bowl, combine all the ingredients for mustard sauce.  Set aside.
3. In another bowl, mix Panko breadcrumbs, salt, pepper, dried basil.
4. Prep the chicken: I use 2 large chicken breasts and halve them horizontally, so I end up with 4 pieces of thinner chicken.  Season both sides with salt, pepper, and paprika powder.
5. Add chicken to mustard sauce, turn to coat.  Then dredge chicken through breadcrumbs.  Place it in cookie sheet covered by aluminium foil and sprayed with cooking spray.
6. Bake for 30 minutes.

Enjoy!

Closer to Finish Line

February.  Ah, the month we've been waiting for.  This is the month when my husband and I will finish one of our financial goal - being debt free except the house.  It's so great to be so close at the finish line!

On July 2014, 7 months ago, we've made a commitment to be more disciplined with our financial situation.  We have lived like the Joneses, buying this and that emotionally, and try to justify it logically.  Such a human nature, isn't it?

But after reading Dave Ramsey's book, The Total Money Makeover, we've decided to follow his baby steps to get out of debt and handle our financial better.  We're not irresponsible, we still pay our bills on time, and try to live within our means.  But without a written goal and budget, we were just running in place, with no finish line to aim.  We lived too comfortably by going out once or twice a week, and spending too much in birthday gifts here and there, in the name of love.  Travel every year just because we saw other people do it too in Facebook and think it's a normal thing to do.

Well this time, it's called tough love!!  We committed to not buy each other birthday gifts anymore, not until we debt-free!  You can't get out from a hole by digging the bottom.  So to be one step ahead, we HAVE TO make sacrifices for now, so we can live better later.  I'm sure our future self will thank us!

I thought it will take us longer than 7-8 months to be debt-free except the house.  But with such an extreme discipline, we did get it faster.   Somehow once we crunch the numbers and stop the "bleeding" of our budget, we are getting closer to our goal.  Sure it would be much faster if we win a lottery or have a huge significant raise or promotion.  Well, it's not happening (we stop buying lottery ticket and instead focus on increasing paying debt fast and stop unnecessary spending), and really in life, sometimes you just have to play the bad hands well (quote by Robert Louis Stevenson, author of Treasure Island).

Discipline.  Sometimes it's hard to stick to the rule we've made, but one of the good thing of doing it together with your spouse, is that your spouse can remind the commitment we've made, and the goal we aim to reach.  We can be our each other's check partner.

Well, the momentum is going, and I can't wait to scratch this one task of my list.   Because as soon as this baby step done, our eyes are onto the next one!  Bumping up savings like nobody else!  So we can live like no one else later on. :)

For those of you who also in this financial journey with us, I wish you the best and may we be in a better financial state very soon. Keep it going!  Have a great day!

PS: Dave Ramsey's website is a great source!  Check it out!

Can you control your dreams?

dream

drēm/

noun

1. 1.

   a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.

Last few nights, I've dreamt the same dream again and again.  Well, perhaps it's not exactly the same, but it has a similar theme.  I dream of having a gigantic aquarium in the basement.  In real life, I don't have a basement.  This occurs at least several time this week.  Weird.

Sometimes dreams are so vivid, look so real, feel so real.  The intensity of a dream (or nightmare) could wake you up.  It happens to me about two nights ago.  I dream of trying to escape from a witch (too much watching Charmed, lol), and I was going to rescue this one puppy by pushing it across a fence, but it bounced back because the witch cast a spell on it.  And at that moment, I knew I was doomed to death since the witch only have one prisoner, me.  The witch must have known that it was me who did the rescue (and escape) attempt.  So I shout, "Nooooooo...!"  and it got carried away to my reality.  I woke up with still yelling,"Noooo" and it woke my husband up.  He simply said,"Aww, you just had a bad dream."

I'm not sure if we can control our dream.  Somehow random thoughts jumping here and there, and in some cases it doesn't even make sense at all.  Sometimes I want something really bad that it appears in my dreams.  But often times, I don't have any clue whatsoever of what those dreams could mean.

Can you control your dreams?

Catchy Commercial!

Going home from work tonight, my husband and I heard a catchy commercial in the radio.  It's a weight loss ad, and "only call if you want to loose weight for legitimate reason".  For legitimate reason!!  Hahaha,  I wonder if there's an illegitimate reason to loose weight?

I think that commercial is great!  It's capturing audience's interest by using different wording and interesting idea.  After the commercial long gone, me and my husband keep discussing it (and joking about it) for the next ten minutes.  Wow!

We ran several scenarios of what might happen when a prospective buyer call in after the commercial.

"I want to buy your weight loss product, but for illegitimate reason.  Will you still sell it to me?"

"No Sir/Madam, cannot sell it to you if it's not for legitimate purposes."

"Okay, okay, I'll use it for just legitimate purposes.  I promise!"

Hahaha,  this is just too funny.  :)

Spicy Roasted Cauliflower - the perfect recipe!

After experimenting with different recipes, I finally found the perfect recipe for this healthy veggie. This recipe is so simple and easy!  You can expand it to lots of variety by changing the seasoning if you'd like to.  I've made it over and over again for my family, and everyone loves it, including my picky husband!  Hope you like it as we do.  Thursday night normally is the cauliflower night! :)

Ingredients:
1 cauliflower, cut into bite-size florets, washed and cleaned.
1/4 cup evoo (extra virgin olive oil)
5-6 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper or cayenne pepper
Pinch of salt and pepper
2 teaspoon of dried basil or thyme or oregano

How to make:
1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
2. Mix all the ingredient in a bowl, spread into a single layer on a baking sheet.  As always, grease your baking sheet with PAM spray, or use the silicone mat.
3.  Roast for 20 minutes.

Going Blind

This post is dedicated to Dana Elcar (Pete Thorton in Macgyver)

If you can read this, then you are a very lucky person.  Or fortunate.  Or blessed.  Or whatever you name it.  How so?  The story below is the reason why.

I always amazed at the guy who play as Pete Thornton, Macgyver's boss in Phoenix Foundation, from the TV Series Macgyver (1985-1992).   Pete is the fatherly figure and definitely not the arrogant bossy type.  There's an authority aura around him, but yet we can feel his genuine and kind spirit in him.  I think Dana Elcar is the perfect match to play as Pete Thornton.

I searched more about Dana Elcar, since I only knew him as "Pete" from Macgyver.  I was curious to see if he played in other movies.  As it turns out, he did played in some other movies before, and regarded as one of the good actor of his time.  As Richard Dean Anderson said about him, "There were no bumpy roads with Dana."  Such a great co-worker too!

Unfortunately, during the 4 seasons of Macgyver in the making, he was diagnosed with glaucoma.
An illness which will eventually turn someone to blindness.  He reported to his producers that he was going to be blind, and his producers simply replied,"The fact that you are losing your eyesight does not mean you have forgotten how to act," Elcar recounted in a 1991 speech to the National Federation of the Blind.

Eventually he became blind.  But even after he lose his eyesight, he kept on acting.  Mainly on stage, at Santa Paula Theater Center.  He passed away in 2005.  I can imagine that about the last 10 years of his life was spent in blindness due to glaucoma.

Then here's what I'm thinking.  How can you live a life without the ability to see?  Yes you can still hear, taste, smell, touch.  But I think being blind also means that you will have to re-learn to live with a new condition.  To try to imagine color in a colorless reality.  To use your other senses more keenly.  To forget the world you knew so well and enter into a different dimension and adjust with it until you fully accept it and  let it become your new reality.

I think sometimes we take things too lightly and take it for granted.  Instead of truly appreciating of what we have, we become ignorant and only focusing on things that we thought is important.  Well how important is one imperfect surrounding in a selfie photo to a man who cannot see?

It's still amazing that there are a lot of blind people who possesses courageous spirits to continue moving on and actually become successful.  I think Dana Elcar is one of them too.  To continue living in a world that he loves, the acting world, till the end.  Stevie Wonder (musician) , Helen Keller (author), Louis Braille (inventor of Braille system - reading method for the blind), Andrea Bocelli (opera singer), Galileo Galilei (astronomer), and the list go on and on and on.

Suddenly our problems seem so petty.  Our trouble seems smaller.  We can still see!  If they don't let blindness in their way and even can contribute more to humanity, then we should not give up for whatever reason.  Human spirit is one of the strongest thing in the world.  So let's not loose hope!

If you can still see, you can still conquer whatever it is you're facing now.  Even if you can't see anymore, you can always learn the new skills and live your life to the fullest.

Thank you Dana for your contribution to the world. May you rest in peace. (He passed away June 6, 2005).

MacGyverism

So today me and my husband watched one of our favorite TV Show, MacGyver.  We love watching Macgyver!  And we both agreed that if one day Macgyver ever be produced again, the leading actor should and must be Richard Dean Anderson! :)

Most of us who ever lived in Asia continent around late 80's and early 90's practically grow up with Macgyver.  I know there's lots of new TV series out there these days.  But there's just something different with these 80's-90's TV show.  Somehow I think they are more original, simpler, and can convey the message better.

Macgyver is such a persona of a genius handyman who can survive in any dangerous situation using his wit and his Swiss army knife.  And lots and lots of duct tape.  I remember seeing one episode when he escaped by creating an airplane made of bamboo sticks and large garbage bags.  So cool!

We like other supporting characters too, like Pete from Phoenix Foundation - his boss, Jack Dalton and his "Dalton Air" - his buddy, Penny Parker - his actress friend, and even Murdoch - his villain.
Every episodes are different and unique, yet they resemblance same theme over and over again.   There is a situation, there is a threat, and with Macgyver there, there will be a way out.

Another thing that I like about the show, is the morale of the story.  Macgyver believes in protecting the environment (Episode: Black Rhino, The Negotiator), save the innocent (there's lots of episodes where his mission is to rescue the imprisoned from their captors), and raising awareness on social-economic issues (like the Jewel Heist, the Wish Kid, etc).

If we ever stuck in a dangerous situation, I want Macgyver to be there with us. :)

Roasted Terong Istimewa/Special Roasted Eggplant

I'm so happy to found such a perfect recipe for this special roasted eggplant!  So excited to share this with you!  Every time I made this, me and my mom end up always finishing it!  I planned to bring this to work as an office snack, but alas, always gone before the end of the day, lol.  

Here's the how to:

1) One eggplant, half it, then create a X cross pattern with your knife in the flesh.  No need to make a too-deep cut.  Salt it.  Let it sit for 30 minutes.  In the meantime, preheat your oven to 400F.

2) Drain the salt since eggplant will draw up some moisture.  Then cut it to big cubes like picture above or below.

3) Season time!  Mix it altogether in a bowl.  I use pepper, cloves, and paprika.  No need to salt it since the eggplant still retain the saltiness from the previous 30 minutes.  If you'd like to be spicier, put cayenne pepper or chili powder.  The seasoning is up to your liking.  Don't forget the olive oil.  

4)  Place the seasoned eggplant in cookie sheet.  Make sure to spread it as a single layer, we don't want to steam it.  Bake for 1 hour.

5)  1 hour later.... voila!  You'll have a perfect healthy snack ready to go!  When you bite to it, the skin will be crunchy on the outside, and the flesh will be tender and juicy in the inside.  Yum!

Enjoy!  Hope you like it as we do! :)

7 steps to a better state of mind

A great reminder for both you and I.  I've read the article in my friend's Facebook long time ago, I don't remember all the words, but I did summarize the bullet points of that article.  Here we go:

1. Wake up early.
Everyone said they wish they have more time, right?  Then there you go.  Waking up 30 minutes early could mean that you have 30 minutes more time.  But don't deprive yourself from that precious sleep though.  Sleep is still important!

2. Organize your life.
I can't stress it enough, organizing your life is critical to your well-being.  Everything has its own place.  Place important documents in the folder/drawer/cabinet.   Track and manage your finance. Make a budget.  Stick to the budget.  Clean your house.  Take care of your well-being.  Simply put, organizing your life will make you feel better and live better.  Knowing that everything are taken care of put less stress and the weight out of your mind.

3. Try something new.
Sometimes routines and the same daily grind could lead to the kingdom of boringness.  So let's try something new!  Pursue new hobby.  Do something different today.  Or revisit old hobbies.  Back to the kitchen and put those spices to work!  Whip up new dish.  Internet is your good sources for inspiration.  Or perhaps instead of jogging the same route over and over again, take different path this time.  Enjoy different scenery.  Meet new people.  Doing something new put the world at a fresher perspective.

4. Take a mundane task and make it interesting.
Simply put, attach a flair on it.  Make it personal.  Make it yours.  Who knows typing could be so much fun when you transfer all of your energy and personality into it?  

5. Be kind.
It is easy to build up a wall and put a distance for the people around you, especially the ones you don't like.  But the truth is, everyone is at some point fighting a battle that you don't see with your plain eyes.  So be kind.  Extend generosity.  At least acknowledge their stories with the appropriate response.   A little smile won't hurt anyone.  If you offer "Good morning!" plus the smile and that perky attitude, and nobody responding at you back, don't get discouraged.  At least you've placed yourself in a position where you are ready to be happy and spread that joy to those who'd like it.

6. Let go of resentment or grudge.
Like Queen Elsa from Frozen said (or sang), "Let it go!".  Resentment is like an anchor that weight you down, pull you towards the bottom of the world.  Let it go.  Fly away.  Forgive and forget.  Look at that bad experience as the stepping stone to propel you forward.  You can do it!

7. Live with gratitude.
Be thankful of your life, your achievement, your family, and your bright future ahead.  Always aiming to the next success point.  Gratitude makes you feel accomplished.  Gratitude prepares you to the next exciting journey, whatever it is.  Gratitude gives you gladness, that everything is okay, and will be okay eventually.

Have a fantastic day!! :)

Blog Revival. I'm BACK! :)

After about 3 years absence of blogging, I decided to come back here.  I am back!!! I have not yet decide to continue this blog in my native language, Bahasa Indonesia; or in the universal language of the world, the English language.  I do enjoy writing in Indonesian, as a reminder of how much I miss my homeland.  However, I think by writing in English, I may reach out to broader audience. So people from all nations can enjoy the benefit of my thoughts and feelings!  After all, the more the merrier!

For a start, I'm going to continue in English.  But who knows in next future blog I'll write again in Indonesian.  I don't want to lose the skill of "being able to speak in another language". :)

It is now 2015.

Wow.  Time sure flies fast.  In few months, me and my husband will celebrate our 10th year wedding anniversary.  Sometimes I think I've been married longer than that time, but in other days it feels that it was just yesterday of me meeting him for the first time.  We met via yahoo chess online.  And just when you think that chess is so 1983, I see that my husband is now still playing chess online (his desk is right next to my desk, so I can see his game on the other computer screen), and still winning them games!  Yay honey! ♥

Sometimes I think my past life are just dreams.  Now I live in a different reality.  Sometimes I can't believe that once upon a time ago, I lived in another country, under different weather, with different type of people.  Different dreams, different goals.

But you know what, people around the world are basically the same.  They have feelings.  They have worry.  They have pride.  There are humble people, there are arrogant ones.  There are nice people, there are rude ones.  There are considerate kind, and there are selfish type.  There are the ones that you can trust, and of course there's also the type that will "throw you under the bus".  It's the same here and there.

So, I decided to not worry anymore about the "people" part.  I'm going to focus on my goals, my dreams.  It may have been changed, adapted, and evolved; but I still have the willpower to see it through.  My short-term goal is to loose weight with daily exercise.  Not that I need to, as my BMI level is at normal. But I think it's important to ensure I keep the daily workout for longevity.

During July 2011 till July 2013, I've lost about 23 pounds (roughly 10 kg).  That's just by limiting my portions and watching what I ate.  No exercise.  But looks like I've hit the weight loss plateau.  From July 2013 till late 2014, I haven't loss significant amount, and the weight is creeping back up.  So as the New Year's 2015 resolution, I decided to put my 100% commitment in back to portion control, plus now, the exercise.

Lately, I've been doing the dance workout from Youtube (thank you Michelle Le May!! You're awesome!).  Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEjsAW5rokA.  And I gotta tell you, the first day I've done it, I was sweating!!  I haven't sweat in a long time, well because I wasn't exercising regularly, but after that 1st time of doing Michelle's dance workout, I felt refreshed and excited!  I am committed to do this in the daily basis!

Well, that's it for now.  I'll see you all again in the next blog.  Thanks for your time reading this.  I'm happy to share my life with you, my dear blog readers!  Have a great day! :)

An Eulogy to my Papa : Endry Tjandrawidjaja

An Eulogy to my Papa : Endry Tjandrawidjaja. 

Dec 15th,2008. 4 years ago. Little did I know that it will be the date that my physical strong bond with my dad will be severed forever. On that fateful day, my beloved father passed away due to a sudden heart attack. Just few weeks earlier I was still on the phone with him, asked him if everything okay, if he has illness or not, & he said he was just fine.

I have a very close relationship with my mom & dad. To me, Papa is not just a father figure. He's way more than that. He's my personal advisor in times when I seek his wise advice & mature wisdom. He's my bestfriend in times to share our happy moments, share our love of food! He always have a reason to go out to restaurant to celebrate anything. I even have a written list of restaurant in Jakarta that I want to visit if time permits for me to go back after my wedding in 2005. I also have prepared a restaurant list for my parents to try when they planned to come to visit me in US back in 2006 [their trip was cancelled though, not sure why].

My wedding day, 3/12/05, was the last moment I physically hugged Papa. The day when he walked me down the aisle. We both live in different continents, dad in Indo, I live with my husband in USA. We have already made plans together that in few years, after I became citizen, I will sponsor my parents to become green card here. I became citizen in Feb 2009, just 2 months away after his passing. Sometimes reality is different than our own planning.

Although I sad that I won't be able to meet him again, won't be able to talk with him anymore, but I realized that Papa had taught me everything that I need to know, to live & survive. He had become a living example of how a person should be to their family : a provider. He told me that no matter if I was born a male, nor female, I should become a provider to my family.

I've inherited the most important legacy from him : His character. My Papa is a fair person. He's just. He constantly remind me to be able to differentiate what is right, & what is wrong. He taught me to not compromise the core principle of life, but balance it by being flexible in a situation that need understanding. He also taught me to be strong. To move on. Try to forgive & forget past mistakes, both my own mistake or other people's wrongdoing.

Papa is a special person to everybody that come to know him. I think each of eveyone that ever have a contact with him, can't really forget what impact that he made to change the person's life for the better. He is a great uncle to his nieces & nephews. He's a good son-in-law to my grandparents. He's a good brother in law. He's a good brother to his own siblings. And for his friends [he has thousands of them, I can't count anymore], & even to some of my friends too, he is a good listener, great wise advisor, & he's so sincere to them. People will end up having a bright day after talking to him. I know I do.

Papa is a natural born strong-willed leader. His involvement with lots of churches, teaching & preaching about the principle of Jesus Christ, have touched lots of lives, including mine & my mom. We became more mature, more wise, more empathy to the others. Papa not only talking about Jesus, but he actually living his own teaching, until the day he drew his last breath. In an unique way, he had helped grown Perduki [Indonesian Catholic Charistmatic for Professional & Businessmen/women] from just a small chapter in Central Jakarta, to now have multitude branches in other cities as well. He's not only become my own idol, but also to our Catholic & Christian community as well. Perduki will not be like today without his 25 years ++ support.

His passion of righteousness & his deep understanding of Bible made me proud of him. He never stop to try to fix imperfect things & make it better. Over the course period of years, I saw his change -- to the better. More patient, more smile, more peaceful, more content with life. He's such a simple person, that happy with his lot in life. He doesn't jealous with other's fortune, instead he feel happy & glad when other's being blessed. He also reminded me to be an extended blessing to other people too, to not just keep my knowledge & things to my own.

From Papa [and mama too] I got my sense of music. He was a master at singing, everyone that ever hear his voice will admit that he moved them soul. When he sing, he sing wholeheartedly, praising the Lord with his full mind & soul. When he was younger he played guitar. My mom played piano. I long for our family to sit down & sing together, just like the old times. Maybe we will one day in Heaven, who knows.

Once my husband told me that he regret that Papa was taken too soon. He was excited to have a father-in-law, whom he can share "guy things". My husband admitted that Papa was a great man, great leader, & good family guy. I do wish my husband have chance to interract more than my dad. Papa too, was happy to have me married Lloyd. I sometimes laugh at Papa's silly joke "Lloyd is a "bule" [white guy] with Asian heart" --> this is because Lloyd likes kung pao chicken, lol.

Papa is a faithful husband to my mom. They never cheated to each other, they always in love with each other, & their long-lasting love does spread to others that see them. Papa likes to see movie in cinema with Mama, they always have a "date night out" after their ministries, a simple 20 minute break in cafes, just having a quality moment to each other. They always holding hands in the mall & other public places. He never afraid to show off his love to her! He encourage Mama's love of jewelry & make up & beauty stuff. Even buying her stuff although funds are limited! He said, well, let's enjoy it now while we can. He's right. You need to indeed enjoy your money [well of course he wants us to save too in our savings], but he wants us not to become slave of the money, but master & conqueror of the money. To control our finance responsibly, & yet still have fun with it.

12/18/2008, 3 days after Papa's passing, was supposed to be their 32nd wedding anniversary, but instead, me & Mama went to the sea to give his ashes his final rest. I myself hold the jug, and, did what he wanted in his demise, pour his ashes to the sea after the cremation. At that point, I tried to be strong to Mama, because this has shocked both of us to the core. I was grieving, still grieving. I still mourn about it. I did not blame God at all, I mean... death is a part of life. Each one of us will eventually passed away. I just want to hold him longer. That's all. Papa told us that if he being cremated & his ashes poured to the sea, then everywhere in the world all we need to do is just come to any sea, & "meet" him. Such a simple man. I love him. His cremation was his wish since I was 10 year old. So at the point when me & mama had to made decision, we both came to same conclusion in less than 5 seconds.

Papa never made his shortcomings stopping him from doing great things. We all know that he had an accident when he was 27 yr old, that made him loose his 3 half fingers on his right hand. But he moved on, keep going strong, & never made an excuse of it. If he saw a beggar with both full hands & both full legs, he just raised up his "disability" hand, as a poignant symbol that even he, did not become a beggar although he doesn't have full hand. This is an important lesson to me. This has made me going for years & years & years. Never give up. Achieve higher things, accomplish more things, eventhough you don't have all that you need. Sometimes lack of things will make you gain more achievements.

Papa was a great man. He was a humble person. He didn't boast of his experience, instead he's using his knowledge to help people that seek his advice. He's a great person if you need to discuss serious matter of your life. I remember one time, one of his friend had a marital problems. Papa did not judge what he did, didn't criticize what he was thinking. Instead, Papa just offered few options & simple suggestions to him that can help his friend's marriage to be a little bit joyful. In the end, last I've heard he have a happier marriage. :) That's what my dad all about, for a person to have a happier happy ending.

Papa, I want to say thank you to you. Thank you not only for giving me life, but also for sharing my life 100% of it. You knew every single thing about me, you knew what I like and dislike, & yet you still appreciate me. You treated me not only as a daughter, but you made me feel special when you asked my opinion & really valued them. You saw me not only as a little kid, but since I was 13 yr old [or maybe since I can start remembering things], you always put my thoughts into consideration! Not many parents can do that, & Papa, you have come to a level where your life is enriched because you value everyone's input, including your wife's & daughter's.

Papa, I wish we can talk more like we did before when I lived with you & ma in Jakarta. I wish we can hug each other again. I wish we can pray together again. My only hope is that one day we can do all this again in another lifetime in Heaven. Papa, you told me once that when you die, you will prepare a house for our family in Heaven. I'm looking forward to join your house when the times come. I will not be afraid to die, because I know that's when I get to meet you again! I'm excited that you have come to prepare a nice house, wait..., palace!! for us. :)

Papa, words are limited. This is not all. This is only a tip of the iceberg of what I have felt for the last 4 years. This is what I can express now to share with our family & friends via facebook. You know I love you. I miss you. Please be safe there in Heaven. [Hm, maybe it's safer there than here, earth]. I'm sure I'm not the only one missing you, Papa. Mama missed you tremendously. Everday she always pray for you. Mama is strong. I told Mama that you would want us to be happy & smile & just enjoy life, just like you enjoyed simple small things in life, Papa. I take care of her. I will make sure she eat good everyday. That's my promise to you, Papa.

I appreciate that all of you, my friends, my families, who read this, have spare a moment to read this eulogy. I would still like to write more, maybe another time. Thank you again for your willingness to read this. And feel free to comment [neither below, or separate wall post, or message, up to you], if you'd like to share with me what you feel about my Papa.

Papa, you're a special guy.

Rest in peace.

Until we meet again, Papa.

I love you, Papa.

　

Your Daughter,

Peggy Tjandrawidjaja

Disneyland-California Adventure Park

It's just like a dream come true! Disneyland & California Adventure Park... 4 days is just not enough to ride all the rides there, not to mention there are some cool rides that we want to go twice.

There are some scary-exciting rides : Hollywood Tower of Terror, Indiana Jones, California Screaming, Soaring over California, Maliboomer, Matterhorn Bobsleds, Mullholland Madness, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, Star Tours, Grizzly River Run. There are some fun-peaceful rides : It's a small world, The many adventures of Winnie the Pooh, Monster Inc, Pirates of the Carribean, Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, Haunted Mansion, Snow White's Scary Adventure which is not scary at all, Jungle Cruise.

There are 3D movies : Honey, I shrunk the audience, Muppet Vision 3D. We can pretend as Brother Bear in Redwood Creek Challenge Trail, we also saw the movie of Disneyland's The First 50 Magical Years. We dine in so many good restaurants, street vendor, and ice cream parlor in Main Street, New Orleans Square, Frontierland, Adventureland, Fantasyland, Mickey's Toontown, Tomorrowland. When we tired, we just hop inside Disneyland Railroad that connect 8 different area at once! And we also investigate the future in Innoventions!

In our last day, we walk around inside Downtown Disney, with Haagen Dasz ice cream on hand, exploring Rainforest Cafe, ESPN Gaming Zone, Jazz Kitchen, etc... IT'S A WOW TRIP! When we'll be back again? =)

Near Death

Hi friends... gue mau sharing cerita gue hari ini...

Kejadian ini terjadi barusan aja, hari ini, Rabu, 10 Januari 2007, tepatnya skitar jam setengah sepuluh malam. Gue & suami gue dalam perjalanan pulang dari kantor ke rumah, dan tepat pada saat kita sampai Vancouver (kota tempat gue tinggal, by the way kita berdua kerjanya di kota Tigard),mendadak mobil yg gue setir selip(karena salju & licin sekali), dan mobil kita terjebak di gundukan salju tebel deket exit highway. Dan by the way, exit highway tempat kita berhenti itu curam sekali, sperti jurang kecil gitu.

At the moment, gue pikir gue udah pasti gak selamet. Gue udah injek rem berkali2x, tapi mobil gak mau stop & meluncur terus dengan derasnya ke lembah jurang kecil itu,untuk ada kayu kecil yang menghalangi mobil jatuh lebih dalam lagi. Suami gue bener2 tenang menghadapi situasi ini dan segera ambil alih kemudi. Gue shock banget, gue gak pernah ngalamin kejadian "near death" kayak gini.

Akhirnya mobil berhenti & suami gue berusaha utk injek gas kuat2 supaya mobil bisa kembali ke jalanan. Tapi gak bisa, masih terjebak di rumput salju tebel gitu. Akhirnya gue(setelah gak panik & pulih kesadarannya), bilang ke suami gue untuk telpon 911. Dan untungnya mereka segera kirim towing truck utk narik mobil kita keluar dari jebakan rumput salju, dan kembali bisa normal kejalanan biasa lagi.

Pesen gue cuma satu : value your life. You will never know what might come to you. Sesaat gue berpikir, seandainya mobil meluncur terus gak berhenti2 dan nabrak pohon, atau jatuh ke jurang,apa gue langsung meninggal??? gue betul2 takut saat itu, waktu mobil akhirnya berhenti, gue bernafas lega & bersyukur gua masih hidup. Friends, ini bener2 pengalaman ngeri yang gak bakal gue lupain seumur hidup gue. Smoga gue bisa mengisi hidup gue dengan hal2 yang lebih baik, hal2 yang gak penting jangan dijadikan hal yang penting, hal sepele nggak usah dibesar2kan.

Life is so fragile. In a fleeting moment it can be taken away from you. Just like that.

Be safe, and live your life to the fullest.

lagi tahun yang baru

Masa 10 tahun itu sudah selesai.

Sudah selesai.

1997. Itu adalah awal semua kegembiraan, harapan, & tujuan2 yang jauh untuk dicapai. Flashback memori memang selalu menyenangkan, & betapa bangganya kita melihat segala bentuk macam prestasi yang sudah kita raih, biarpun kadang2 ada selipan air mata & genggaman kekuatan untuk menggapainya.

Di awal tahun itu, saya baru saja merayakan jadian satu bulanan pacaran dengan pacar pertama saya. See? Harapan, excitement, impian & angan2 untuk merangkai masa depan bersama. 6 bulan kemudian, saya lulus SMU Santa Ursula, dan mulai mendaftar sana sini utk masuk kuliah, mencapai gelar sarjana, jadi orang berguna. Dan memang selama masa 4 tahun sesudah itu, sudah banyak sekali peristiwa2 baru di luar rencana yang terjadi. Banyak teman2 baru, banyak persahabatan baru, banyak pengalaman baru, dan akhirnya, pekerjaan baru!!!

Tahun demi tahun berganti dengan cepatnya, roda2 waktu seakan saling kejar mengejar satu sama lainnya. Pacar datang silih berganti, tapi yang lebih penting teman2 baru muncul satu persatu. Nama2 tak dikenal mulai memenuhi panggung sandiwara, menambah setiap variasi pernak pernik warna kehidupanku. Salah satu dari nama2 tak dikenal itu menjadi spesial di hati saya, dan kita mulai serius menjalin hubungan untuk merencanakan masa depan yang lebih besar lagi.

Tentu saja, akhirnya cinta yang menang. Kami menikah & menjalani romantika pernikahan yang indah. Terus waktu berlalu lagi, berlarian lagi. Nostalgia lama terkadang sekelibat nampak di benak saya, tapi tetap waktu terkini menjajah seluruh fokus saya. Kesibukan bukan lagi di tempat kerja, tapi juga di rumah untuk membagi waktu & perhatian ke suami & urusan2 rumah tangga.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, 31 Des 2006, sembari bersenderan di sofa kami yang nyaman dan main video gamecube, tiba2 mata saya mengarah ke jam dinding kami, dan saya kaget melihat waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 11.59 malam! Suami saya yang sedang baca buku di sofa satu lagi (yang juga nyaman dan comfy) dengan tenangnya berkata,"Yup, it's almost 2007".

Satu menit kemudian, lagi tahun yang baru mengganti kalender2 rumah kami. Jeez, it's so fast. I'm not ready! Dan suamiku yang bijak itu cuma bilang gini,"After high school, time flies so fast". Dan ingatanku kembali melayang ke jaman 10 tahun yang lalu. Betul2 jaman lulus sma & jadi anak baru lagi di kampus Atma. Dengan segala suka dukanya. Dengan segala harapan2nya. Betulkah 10 tahun sudah berlalu?

Apa yang sudah kuraih selama ini?

Apakah ini impianku yang jadi kenyataan?

Am I living my dream?

That's my resolution of 2007...