8 Actions Plans To Be Better - by Chris Hogan

As I listened to Chris Hogan's Retired Inspired Podcast, I jotted down 8 actions plans to be better. These are very applicable for any situation that we want to improve. Whether it's for family, relationship, work, or any goals, these tips are useful and can be done starting today!

1. Do be clear on what options available to you.

2. Do understand the amount of effort your decision will require.

3. Do be ready and willing to sacrifice.

4. Do know that your daily decision matter.

5. Don't squander the chance to be able to improve.

6. Don't waste time you have to be wishy-washy.

7. Don't miss the opportunity that's available to you.

8. Don't look back with regret. This is the time.

Thank you for the tips, Chris! Another great podcast! :)

The Secret of Happiness (Kunci Kebahagiaan)

Do you sometimes see some people that no matter whatever bad things happened to them, they still laugh and seems so happy with life as it is? Call it bad luck or being less fortunate, but they can lift up their chin and smile back at you.  Do you ever wonder what is the secret of their happiness?

Maybe they have a different point of view from you and I. Maybe they don't realize that it's a bad thing. It seems that nothing is bothering them and they still moving forward.

The key is : to find what's going right.

Take notice of what are things that going right in your life. In any situation, whether good or bad or nothing happen, try to find beautiful things that makes your day. Birds are singing, it's not raining (or even it's raining, it's still wonderful too), quiet moments, noisy moments, doesn't matter what it is, try to appreciate how colorful your life is and I bet you'll feel better.

Yes, gratitude is important. But if there is one thing that we all can do to be a little bit happier, I think it will be to find what are the things that going right, instead of wrong.

So many of us are being trained to notice what's wrong, and thinking of how to fix it right away. I mean, the first question you'll ask someone that looks bothered is, "What's wrong?". There is nothing wrong with that, but it can take the focus away from all the other good things that going on with our life.

By the way, there's a survey by the Ten3 Global Internet poll about the key of happiness. Not surprising to see that 56% of the key of being happy is the mental attitude. Love takes the next place by 25%. Money, success, and creativity are only a little part of the key of happiness.

Instead of thinking of the things you don't have, start counting with the things that you already have. Not only things, but people too. Instead of hoping someone new come in your life to rescue you from the miserable life surrounds you (and I do hope you DON'T feel that way btw), start loving people next to you that might face a hard life already. You'll be surprise to see their reaction with the love you extended to their world.

Instead of wishing this and that, start appreciating of everything that had happened to you.
Don't say "I wish..."
Say "I will!"

Instead of feeling hopeless and stuck in the rut, start thinking of the blessing that have been given to your lap. Start with your family, your friends, your health, your wisdom, your strong personality that keeps you going no matter how many challenges you have been through.

Even start with your senses! How lucky we are if we can still see! No need to worries about cataract surgeries or was not born blind. There are some people out there that would trade place with us just to see the beauty of a rainbow. But even for blind people, they are lucky too because they have a skill that most of us don't have : they can read in Braille. They don't have to see some horror things in the world that we wish we never have to see it.

To sum it up, whatever your condition is, whatever century you were born, in every situation, find what is right and be happy about it. Don't linger on what's wrong. Try it! After we all, we can use a little bit of happiness in our daily lives, right?

Have a great day!

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Pernahkah kamu melihat ada orang yang sudah jatuh tertimpa tangga, tapi masih bisa tertawa dan kelihatan bahagia akan kehidupan ini? Mungkin lagi sial atau memang kurang beruntung, tapi tetep aza mereka bisa angkat dagu mereka dan bisa senyum balik pada kita? Apa sih rahasianya?

Mungkin mereka punya sudut pandang yang berbeda dari kamu dan saya. Mungkin mereka nggak menyadari bahwa hal itu jelek. Kelihatannya nggak ada yang menganggu perasaan mereka, dan mereka maju terus pantang mundur.

Kuncinya adalah: cari apa yang berjalan dengan benar.

Coba deh perhatikan akan hal-hal benar yang terjadi pada hidupmu. Dalam situasi apapun, baik bagus maupun buruk atau mungkin saja nggak terjadi apa-apa, cobalah untuk menemukan hal-hal indah yang membuat harimu. Burung-burung bernyanyi, nggak hujan (atau bahkan kalau hujan sekalipun, masih tetap indah juga), momen sunyi, momen bising, nggak peduli apapun itu, cobalah untuk menghargai betapa dinamisnya duniamu dan aku yakin kamu akan merasa lebih baik.

Ya tentu saja merasa berterima kasih itu penting. Tapi kalau ada satu hal yang bisa buat kita lebih hepi, aku pikir itu adalah usaha kita untuk menemukan hal-hal yang berjalan dengan benar, bukan salah.

Banyak dari kita dididik untuk menemukan apa yang salah, dan berpikir untuk mengkoreksinya secepat mungkin. Biasanya pertanyaan pertama yang kamu lontarkan pada seseorang bermuka keruh adalah, "Ada masalah apa?". Sebetulnya sih nggak ada yang salah dengan pertanyaan itu, tapi ini bisa saja mengalihkan semua fokus dari hal-hal baik yang sudah benar dengan hidup ini.

Ngomong-ngomong, ada survey dari Ten3 Global Internet poll mengenai kunci kebahagiaan. Tidak mengagetkan untuk melihat bahwa 56 persen kunci untuk bahagia adalah sikap mental.  Cinta menduduki peringkat berikut dengan 25%. Uang, kesuksesan, dan kreativitas hanyalah sebagian kecil dari kunci kebahagiaan.

Daripada mikir akan hal-hal yang tidak kamu miliki, coba deh hitunglah hal-hal yang sudah kamu punya. Nggak cuma benda, orang juga. Daripada ngarepin ada orang baru datang untuk menyelamatkan kamu dari hidup sengsara ini (dan aku harap kamu TIDAK berperasaan kayak gini), mulailah dengan mencintai orang di sekitarmu yang mungkin aja sudah punya kehidupan yang berat. Kamu akan tercengang begitu menyadari reaksi mereka dengan cinta yang kamu ulurkan ke dunia mereka.

Daripada berharap gini gitu, mendingan kita belajar menghargai segalanya yang terjadi atas diri kita.
Jangan bilang,"Andai..."
Tapi bilang,"Aku akan!"

Daripada nelangsa dan merasa terjebak akan keadaan, coba deh pikirkan berkat-berkat melimpah yang jatuh ke pangkuanmu. Mulailah dengan keluargamu, teman-temanmu, kesehatanmu, kebijaksanaanmu, kepribadianmu yang kuat yang membuatmu terus maju nggak peduli berapa banyak badai cobaan yang sudah kamu hadapi.

Bahkan mulailah dengan panca inderamu! Betapa beruntungnya kita masih bisa melihat! Nggak perlu kuatir akan operasi katarak atau nggak dilahirkan buta. Banyak orang di luar sana yang mau tukar tempat sama kita hanya untuk melihat indahnya pelangi. Tapi bahkan untuk orang buta, mereka juga beruntung karena mereka punya satu keahlian yang kebanyakan dari kita nggak punya: mereka bisa membaca dalam huruf Braille. Mereka nggak perlu melihat hal-hal menyeramkan yang terjadi di dunia dimana kita berharap kita nggak pernah melihatnya.

Kesimpulannya, apapun kondisi kita, nggak peduli abad mana kita dilahirkan, dalam segala situasi, temukanlah hal-hal yang berjalan dengan benar, dan berbahagialah karena itu. Jangan terus mikirin apa yang salah. Coba deh! Bagaimanapun juga, kita semua bisa menggunakan lebih banyak kebahagiaan dalam hidup kita sehari-hari, kan?

Semoga harimu menyenangkan!

Hard Work and Work Hard

People say that we should work smart instead of work hard. But no matter how you say it, it will still required some work to achieve success. How I see it, almost all of successful people in any field, they possessed a special quality that makes them accomplish their goals.

They work hard.

The don't stop until they finish (unless if they need to eat or sleep, and sometimes they even sacrifices sleep!). They focus. They push themselves to the next level. It's hard work and work hard.

After some deep thinking, I concluded that there are five shades of working hard attribute. There might be more. But here are some that I could think of (so far...)

1. Don't be complacent.
Aka don't be lazy. You are only as good as your last sale. Keep moving forward. Being lazy (sloth) is one of the seven deadly sins, right?

2. Daily discipline.
Develop a good routine. Build a consistent habit. Small improvement can lead to big changes.

3. Follow the process.
Trust the process. Don't skip or jump around. Be consistent with your flow and eventually you'll gain speed. Perfecting your work until you can finish it faster.

4. Learn to control the person in the mirror.
Stop complaining. Stop regretting. Start working. Chop chop.

5. Maximize opportunities.
Every single time.

You've heard what Vince Lombardi had said:

So let's start today by working hard and finish the day with your hard work!

Have a great day!

2018 Resolution

Usually people make New Year's Resolution around the new year's time. But I guess it took me 3 months and 4 days to finally make my 2018 resolution. It took me a week off from my work and some quiet time in the swimming pool to finally make me realize that I need to make some positive changes if I want to live longer, ... and happier.

So here we go. Here's my 2018 resolution. This year I vow to...
1. Eat healthier.
2. More positive thinking.

Eat healthier for me means :

• no red meat,
• no cheese (or choose to not have cheese if it's up to me), 
• no fried stuff, 
• no chips and unhealthy snacks, and 
• portion control. 

My goal is to lower my cholesterol. I admit it, I do have a high cholesterol. But during the past few years I have been able to lower it bit by bit, so I knew I can do it. I just have to make health-conscious decision whenever I plan to eat. Goal must be SMART, right? So by the next check up time (Jan 2019), I hope my cholesterol level will be down to 250 (I know it's still over 200, it's still high, but my level now is at 279, so not bad for a start!).

More positive thinking means in every situation I'm in, I choose to be happy. I choose to accept life the way it is and not get overworked in the details. For me this is not easy, because I'm a melancholic person. I like details and sometimes got obsessed in tiny little things. When I peel my shrimps, I lined them up one by one in a neat row, so it's tidy and don't look like a mess. Some people might say I got OCD, but yep, that's me.  I learn that sometimes details doesn't matter because things could change again. I mean... the shrimp eventually will be cooked together in a frying pan anyway, so there's no need to line them up, right? But meh, I still like my line-up shrimps! Hahaha!!

Anyway, positive thinking is also means to enjoy life as it is. Don't futuring so much because it could still change. I need to practice more positive thinking. Instead of looking at the downside of things, I need to push myself to be grateful and look at the bright side. Practice empathy when encounter other people that less fortunate than myself. Do not be envy to other people that more fortunate than myself, instead, be happy for them! Always be kind and do the right thing. Always be excited for new things in life! Always looking forward. Move forward, not backwards.

These are my two resolutions. Better late than never, so I'm starting one in March now! :)

Outlook on Life

It's your outlook on life that will determine the level of your happiness.  You always have a choice.

You can choose to be happy, or not.
You can choose to be content, or not.
You can choose to be better, or not.

It is your outlook on life that will set you apart from your worse version of yourself. In every situation, always choose to be happy. Always choose the best out of it. The silver lining. Always look on the bright side of life.

In life, there are two things: things that we can control and things we can't control.

Things that we can control are within our inner self: our courage, our determination, our self-control when facing an uncontrollable situation, our choices.

Things that we cannot control are outside factors that we don't have any influence of the outcome, no matter how hard we try. The weather, what other people do, think, and feel, and natural disasters are some example of it.

So why we get stress in a situation that we can't control?

We need to accept it, embrace it, and move forward. The sooner we let go on things that we need to let go, the better our life will be. It is our perception on life that will either set us free, or burden us day by day.

There are situations that will force us to make difficult decision. It will require our full focus and effort to be able to say no and keep firm with the commitment we had. It's our struggle in life that will make us grow to be a better person. Nobody say it was easy. If it was easy, everyone would already done it.

2 people viewing the rain outside of the building.
A: Ah too bad it's raining. I hate rain! I miss the sunshine. It's a bad day.
B: Rain is so wonderful. It makes me so peaceful. I love to hear the sound of the raindrop. I love the smell of  the fresh air from the rain! It's a good day!

2 people sitting on the park bench in a bright sunny day.
A: Why the sun is so hot? Now I need to put my sunglasses and can't see too well. I miss the rain.
B: What a lovely day! Sun is bright and make my feeling alright!

2 people working overtime in a busy store during the holiday season.
A: Why I need to work overtime? How come Suzy got send home early? How come Jack have a day off today? I want to be with my family. I don't want to work longer than I should. I hate working overtime! It takes time away from doing everything I want to do.
B: Overtime? Yeah!!! Extra money in my wallet! Now I can finally buy that new iPhone that I've been wanting for the last 5 years! Or maybe I can just treat my family to the new restaurant that just open across the street! I'm so glad they pick me for overtime!

2 people get layoff.
A: Oh no! How can I pay my mortgage? How my family will eat?
B: Yay for severance package!

2 people eating bad food from a questionable food cart.
A: This is a waste of money. So regret of buying this food. Why did I do this?
B: Good lesson. Now I know to not come here anymore.

Basically, you can determine your own attitude. When life gave you bad hand to deal, are you going to succumb to a pity party, keep complaining, and draining everyone's energy with your unending sad story, or........ are you going to learn a lesson, strategize your way out, and see the positive things from it?

Positive thinking is a habit. Good news is, habit can be developed. The more you train yourself to have a positive outlook on life, the easier it will be. Eventually, it's an automatic thing to think positive.

It's your outlook on life. It's your perception on life that will make you better, or worse. Your choice.

Saying No to Myself

This evening, as I was driving to buy delicious burgers from Carl's Jr, I imagined myself getting some onion rings and jalapeno poppers. It's been a while. I kept dreaming of those crispy onion rings and how luscious those cream cheese from the jalapeno poppers. I couldn't decide if I should get either one of those, or both! I've committed to at least get an onion rings if not both.

But deep inside, another voice keep tugging my conscience. "Onion rings are bad for you. They are deep fried in high saturated fat. Surely a faster way to get a high cholesterol which can eventually lead to a heart attack." How about jalapeno poppers? They are veggies. "No, they are bad too for your heart health. Deep fried, remember? And cream cheese too? High in fat content."

Sigh. This is a daily war for me. Food vs Health.

So anyway, as I arrive in Carl's Jr restaurant, I went inside and waiting patiently for a family who were ordering their food. Then it's my turn. I ordered 3 burgers for me, my husband, and my mom. And then I'm thinking,"This is it. This is the time to order the onion rings! And jalapeno poppers!"  The waitress could sense the hesitant look on my face, so she asked,"Anything else you want?". "Yea I want those darn good looking onion rings!" But no, I didn't say that. Instead I asked,"Do you have the jalapeno poppers?" And she said,"No, we don't sell them in a daily basis anymore. It's a seasonal thing now." And I'm vaguely said,"Hm... I really want onion rings." She said,"They are so good!". To which I replied,"Yeah, they are very good, but they are so bad for our health, high cholesterol." She admitted,"That is true."

In the end, she tally up the total meal I've ordered, which is only the 3 burgers. I said no to myself!!! I'm thinking,"Do I really need these onion rings to add another pound to my body? Plus another reason to clog the artery to my heart with additional deep fried oils? These burgers are not really the healthiest thing on earth already!"

I'm so proud at myself when I walking down to my car with the carry-out food. As I driving home, I keep praising myself, "Good job, Peggy! You said no to yourself and trying to stay healthy!" I guess at this point I have no clue as when I can enjoy onion rings again. Too bad. I really like them! Maybe I can eat them on my birthday.... which is still months away, hahaha!

Once you said no to yourself, the next one got easier.

I just realized that this onion ring thing is actually my 2nd time saying no to myself. Earlier in the morning, I went to Safeway to get some chicken noodle soup and Day Quill for my husband (poor hubby, he is sick). As I'm going there, I kept thinking that I should bring home Safeway Chinese to me and my mom. Their food is so delicious! But I know I shouldn't do that, because I already made plan to make pesto noodle with corn and mushroom.  I have some pesto sauce I need to finish and plus I already bought those egg noodle, corn, and mushroom.

Homemade food vs restaurant food. If I'm being lazy, of course restaurant food wins. You don't need to prep, cook, and wash the pots and pans. Homemade food is so laborious, but it keep your money in your wallet. Homemade food is more economical rather than restaurant food in general.

So after I bought what I need for my hubby, I just walk straight to my car, not even trying to look at Safeway Chinese menu selection. I was so proud of myself. "Peggy, you said no to yourself! Instead of buying Safeway Chinese, you keep those $11 in your wallet and just make the pesto noodle with corn & mushroom for free!!!" Well, technically is not free, it's already been prepaid the other day when I went grocery shopping. But still, it would be too easy to just give in to Safeway Chinese lunch rather than stay committed to the menu plan I already have in hand.

Don't worry Safeway Chinese, I eventually will buy your delicious orange chicken with half lo mein half fried rice on the side one day! Just not today! :)

Saying no to myself feels so good. I feel I can conquer my self! It takes discipline and self-determination. And the truth is, it wasn't easy. So when you can say no and walk away from it, you feel like a winner. Wow, this feels good! :)

Study Case: The Three Little Pigs

You know the story of the Three Little Pigs, right? It involves three pigs and a big bad wolf. The story has been made famous since 1840, and yet the lessons from it still rang true until this day, end of 2017. Here are some things we can learn from it.

1. Watch out for the big, bad, wolf – The big, bad wolf comes in many forms. Like Mayhem, he can show up at anytime –  as a storm, an unexpected illness, a setback of some kind, the list is endless. It is wise to be on the look out for him, especially if you know he is lurking about. Being properly prepared for adversity is the best defense against it.
2. Short cuts can cost you a lot – The first two pigs built houses of straw and sticks. While they were able to get the work done fast, their houses did not stand up to the huffs and puffs of the big bad wolf. They ended up losing their homes and in some versions, their very lives.
3. Hard work pays off – The third pig spent the time and effort to build a house from bricks and mortar. While his brothers were enjoying a leisurely existence, he was busy working away building a strong house. In the end, both of the lazy brothers found refuge in the sturdy home of their more practical brother in the versions where the pigs manage to escape the wolf.
4. Create a solid plan for your future – All three pigs created a plan for the future, more or less. The problem is –  the first two pigs were rather short-sighted. A straw house would not stand up against a rainstorm and a stick house would not stand up against a bad rainstorm. The third little pig took into account things that could possibly happen and decided to build a house that could pretty much withstand any bad weather and intruders. He came up with a solid plan for future protection.
5. Learn to expect the unexpected – Obviously the first two pigs were not expecting the need to ward off the big bad wolf. Chances are they would have been considerably more concerned about safety in building their homes, if they thought a predator would come calling. The third pig seemed to take all things into consideration in his choice of building materials. He was prepared when the unexpected happened.
6. Know your limitations – The big bad wolf felt that he was invincible. He easily blew down the house of straw, and the house of sticks, though a little harder to blow down, was still no match for his lungs. When he came to the house of bricks, he still felt that he was able to be successful, yet he was not. He didn’t assess the situation very well, and therefore, used unnecessary breath on trying to do the impossible.
7. Going after the wrong thing can get you into hot water – The wolf pursued the three pigs even though he wore himself out trying to blow down the house of bricks. He should have taken the hint that these pigs were off limits. He would have been much better off seeking easier prey. Instead, he continued his pursuit which landed him in hot water, or hot oil, depending on which version you read. Sometimes it’s worth pursuing a goal; sometimes you need to be willing to let it go.
8. Be willing to help your siblings – In the less violent versions, the little pig with the brick house could have been mean to his brothers and let them fend for themselves against the wolf, but when they came to him for help, he let them in and gave them sanctuary.
9. A little extra work is worth the sacrifice – The first two pigs were more interested in playing around and having fun than making sure they had safe, sturdy homes. Had they been willing to put in some elbow grease and quality time, they would have had nice safe homes and still had a chance to enjoy a life of leisure afterwards.
10. Don’t be fooled by people who would lead you astray – Some versions have the wolf trying to trick the last pig out of his home, since it won’t be blown down. But, with every suggestion the wolf makes to get the pig out, the pig outsmarts the wolf. We need to learn how to stay out of trouble and not be led into it by others.

There are several versions of this tale, some less violent than others. Whatever version you choose to share with your children, you will find many lessons that they can use to help them navigate the waters of childhood and beyond.

Pelajaran dari kuda

Ada 3 macam kuda.

Ada kuda yang dibiakkan untuk menjadi kuda pacuan. Kuda-kuda ini adalah kuda pilihan dari jenis spesial dan sengaja dididik untuk menjadi kuda juara. Mereka dilatih setiap hari dengan disiplin ketat untuk bisa melompati halangan-halangan tertentu, untuk bisa menunjukkan atraksi menarik, dan harus makan diet pilihan yang gak sembarang kuda bisa makan supaya tetap sehat dan fit terutama pada saat pertandingan tiba. Mereka disisir setiap hari dan hidup ibarat putri raja. Penampilan mereka selalu cemerlang dan tipe kelas satu bak primadona.

Ada kuda jenis lain yang dilatih untuk jadi kuda peternakan. Tujuan hidup mereka adalah untuk menjadi sarana transportasi manusia dari satu daerah ke daerah yang lain. Mereka ini jinak, jadi siapa pun bisa menungganginya. Kadang mereka dipersiapkan untuk anak-anak yang mau ikut kursus menunggang kuda. Kadang mereka digunakan untuk turis yang berminat untuk menunggang kuda dan melihat-lihat daerah liburan sekitarnya. Kuda-kuda ini makan makanan biasa seperti jerami, rerumputan, wortel, jagung, dan gandum. Seperti kuda pacuan, mereka juga disisir setiap hari dan dipelihara dengan baik. Mereka kelihatan sehat dan terawat.

Kuda ketiga adalah kuda liar. Kuda ini sama sekali tidak jinak, tidak takut manusia, dan tidak bisa dikendalikan. Mereka tidak kenal kekang dan sepatu kuda. Kalau manusia coba untuk menungganginya, mereka akan menghentak-hentak kakinya dan membuat manusia itu terlempar dari punggungnya. Mereka makan sembarang rumput yang ada di mana-mana dan tidak ada yang mengontrol nutrisi mereka. Karena tidak ada yang menyisir mereka, akhirnya bulu mereka tumbuh tidak terawat dan penampilannya jelek sekali.

Orang juga sama.

Ada orang-orang  yang halus, terdidik, dan berbudaya. Orang-orang ini tahu aturan. Mereka mengerti tata krama dan bisa bergaul dengan baik dan sopan. Mereka membuat peradaban manusia setingkat lebih tinggi. Mereka membuat orang merasa senang untuk berinteraksi dengan orang-orang berkultur ini. Orang-orang jenis ini ibarat kuda pacuan. Mereka sudah terdidik untuk menjadi juara dan punya mental bagai pemenang.

Sayangnya, ada orang-orang yang nggak punya etiket. Mereka grasa-grusu dan hidup "liar". Mereka tak punya aturan dalam pergaulan dan bicara seenak jidat. Apa yang dipikirkan di otaknya pada saat itu juga dilontarkan dalam perkataan yang pedas dan menusuk hati. Mereka tidak mengontrol lidahnya dan itu juga terlihat dalam perilaku hidupnya sehari-hari. Orang-orang ini menyebabkan banyak sakit hati dan akibatnya mereka tidak mendapat respek dari orang lain. Mereka ini ibarat kuda liar yang tidak terdidik dan tidak diperhatikan.

Tapi orang bukan kuda. Orang bisa berubah, kalau mereka mau. Orang bisa belajar untuk menjadi berbudaya. Apalagi zaman sekarang, zaman informasi dan internet. Mereka bisa melatih diri mereka untuk menjadi setahap lebih baik, kalau mereka punya keinginan untuk tumbuh dan berkembang.

Manusia adalah makhluk yang paling tinggi, mereka sudah dilengkapi dengan akal budi untuk terus belajar dan berkembang dengan lebih baik. Nggak ada orang yang dilahirkan sudah punya aturan dan tau cara mengucap terima kasih. Itu semua diajarkan pada kita. Dan kita juga bisa bersikap otodidak, belajar sendiri. Jadi nggak usah nyalahin orang tua atau guru kalau kita tidak tahu atas suatu hal. Masa kini, kita bisa belajar dari begitu banyak sumber untuk setidaknya tahu cara bertata krama. Untuk punya etika dalam pergaulan dengan orang lain.

Seandainya kita mau ketemu sama Ratu Elizabeth II di Inggris. Apakah kita akan ngomong dan bertindak tanduk sama seperti kita ngomong sama kuli bangunan? Ya, seharusnya kita tetap sama sopannya pada Ratu Elizabeth dan pada kuli bangunan seberang rumah. Manusia semua sederajat, tapi tidak semua manusia sama. Kenyataannya, banyak orang-orang yang tingkah lakunya sangat berbeda satu sama lain. Ada yang baik dan manis. Ada yang sopan penuh teladan. Dan ada juga yang bicara sembarangan seolah-olah nggak takut akan konsekuensi yang ditimbulkan dari lidahnya. Dan ketika dua tipe orang ini berbaur, mereka bagaikan minyak dan air. Nggak akan bisa bercampur. Yang satu jadi sakit hati, dan yang lain tetap aja bebal dan gak mau berubah.

Jadi apa kesimpulannya?

Intinya, orang yang mau berubah menjadi satu derajat lebih baik, akan selalu maju. Seperti kuda pacuan, mereka terus berlatih sampai mereka jadi ahli. Mereka mendorong diri mereka untuk terus berjuang dan berlari menuju tujuannya. Mereka akan mengasah diri mereka untuk menjadi orang yang lebih baik. Orang yang tetap tahu tata krama dan menghargai lawan bicaranya. Mereka akan terus naik tingkat ke level-level yang lebih tinggi.

Orang yang bebal? Biar aja mereka terus menjadi orang-orang liar. Kalau mereka mau berubah ya syukur, nggak juga nggak papa.

Anjing mengonggong, kafilah berlalu.

Cushion

In life, you've got to have a cushion.

Call it a buffer, a space, a distance; cushion serves to separate us from the edge of living. Cushion is our safety net.

In money terms, cushion is savings.
In time terms, cushion is the time gap between one activity to another.
In sitting terms, cushion is the pillow between us and chair that give us comfort.
In people terms, cushion is a wall between us and people who degrade us.

In many thing, cushion is a necessary skill we need to have to ensure our survival. If we don't have cushion, if we don't have a room between us and life, we could resort to any means that sometimes lead to trouble. By the definition, cushion soften the effect of an impact on. The synonyms for this word are protect, shield, shelter, cocoon.

For example: let's say you have to be at work at 9 am. You know between traffic and everything, it will take you 30 minutes to get there. But instead of going at 8.30 am, you want to give your self 5-10 minutes cushion (or even more), just in case there is an accident that would delay your commute. When you leave home at 8.25 am or 8.20 am, that's when you give yourself cushion. And as we know, in life, there are some unpredictability things we cannot control. That's why you want to give yourself a bit of time for that "just in case" moment.

Living on the edge sounds fun, but if you do this everyday, eventually life will catch up to you, and you'll be behind on your schedules and then need to play catch up. It's just better to be ahead rather than catching up. When you're ahead, you have more control and eventually can minimize the damage life might prepare for you. Soften the blow.

Have as many cushions as you like. The more you protect yourself from the mystery of tomorrow, the more you become prepared. Beside that, cushion is comfy and who doesn't like comfy things?

Have a cushion in life. It'll help you to get ahead.

6 Tips to Become A Millionaire

Tips by Chris Hogan, the author Retired Inspired.

1. Dream big.
Dreams can wake you up and become your motivation. Put the dreams on paper.

2. Really commit.
Deep commitment, not just lip-service of actions you want to take. Truly being focus. Other things have to be limited or even discarded. Remind yourself of that mission day in and day out.

3. Work a plan.
Talk with successful people. Take notes. Listen to what other people are doing. Learn the truth about money and how it works. Figure out if this something I want or something I need. You have to know what's coming in (income) and what's coming out (expenses). Learn how to count. Debt is a threat. Debt delays you from your dream, from your millionaire status. Stay allergic to debt. Know the importance of investing. Compound interest is huge. Starting early is the key! Diversify your investment. Use all available tools to help build your dreams.

4. Don't get distracted.
Stay focus. Keep your lifestyle in check. Don't worry about other people.

5. Don't fall for stupid.
Get smarter. Avoid car payments! Interest that you pay is penalty. Interest that you earn is reward. Instead of paying car payment, send that monthly payment to your 401(k). Make wiser choices for your jeans, phones, and laptops.

6. Don't forget the goal.
Know what you're trying to accomplish.

A Slice of Pie

It's less than a week before Thanksgiving. Mmmmm, Thanksgiving. A day to be thankful for everything we have. A day of a culinary feast! A day of roasted turkey, stuffing, honey-glazed yam, green bean casserole, cranberry jellies, and that famous dessert, pumpkin pie! I think pumpkin pie is the most food I'm looking forward in celebrating Thanksgiving. A slice of pumpkin pie with a whipped cream on top.... yummmmmm!

Our life can be dissected like pumpkin pies too. Some slices here, some slices there. There are so many moving part in our life that sometimes makes our life seems like a blur. But if we really think deep about this, each part of life it's like a chapter in a book, it has its own story, with its own people inside it. Just the same like a slice of pie.

Let's divide our lives into 3 huge slices of pie. Assuming we live to be a hundred, here's some mental picture of what our life could be. (Of course I know that some of us may not make it to a hundred, and there are some that will live over a hundred. This is just an average stats, a ceteris paribus).

1st slice : Age 0 - 33 years old: The learning period.
These are the most busiest years of our lives. We grow up from being a baby, toddler, child, pre-teen, teenager, young adult, into adulthood during the first pie of our lives. From learning how to talk and walk, to learning basic math and language, to learning how to drive a car and how to be successful in school.

Finish with school? Then the learning continues on how to survive on your first 7 days in your first job (or business, or any professional endeavor of your choosing). In these times, some of us got married, have children, and raising little kids into a wonderful human being. This is also the period that we are so eager to grab new experiences by travelling to anywhere, going to this new restaurants and those new bars, and have no fears in facing the uncertainty of the future. YOLO, right?

This is the most exciting part of our lives, where we create lots of photos and memories. This is where we're very vocal of what we want to do in life, and let no one determine the course of our actions. This is also the period where we face our first failures in life, and start wondering if we are still on the right path. But this is also the time where we learn to bounce back every time life knock us down.

2nd slice: Age 34 - 66 years old: The accumulation period.
These are the time when we accumulate everything. The possession time. From money, designer clothes (and bags for women!), jewelry, to big ticket items like TV, cars, and even houses. Some of us may already started the accumulation process when we were in the previous part of life. Some us don't stop the learning process. We continue to accumulate the education we want, either formally (master degree, doctorate degree, and so on) or non formally (learning what's the new make up trend, or how to be confident in public speaking).

This is also one of the most exciting period in our lives, because we could now see our hard work starting to pay off. We probably already finish paying some student loans or old credit card "mistakes" that we did in our twenty's. We see our children grow up into a mini version of ourselves. We are in the stage of being comfortable in life.

While this may true to some people, unfortunately this is also the time period that stress might seep in and start conquering our lives. More money sometimes means more problems. Couples might getting into a disagreement about how to handle their finances, which could lead to resentment and grudges, and eventually leading them to divorce. Or maybe it's not money itself. Maybe it's the time problem. Wife start to blaming husband who prefer to spend time more with his friends watching football elsewhere rather than their home. Husband keep blaming wife for shopping without his permission. The feeling of betrayal keeps accumulated and creates more and bigger tension, leading to a death of marriage.

Some might experience something completely different. This is maybe the time when that company that you work for seventeen years, starts showing a sign of struggle, and later on have no way to keep the door open. Layoff happens. Some of us are forced to start job hunting again, knowing that mortgage need to be paid each month, and other responsibilities that start taking a comfortable nest in our shoulders. These could be the time period when we realize that life is not what we thought it was.

We longing for the olden days of our youth when we don't have to do this adulting things, instead we just focused on our studies, and game time after school. We daydream of our retirement days, eventhough that still another twenty years to go. Some of us who have teenage children start thinking ahead of their ongoing study in universities, and wondering where the money come from. Of course not everyone is unprepared. Some of us did a very good job setting up a college education plan when they still in diapers!

This is the time period, where diligence pays. If we smart and plan our life ahead in the first slice of pie period, we start seeing some results in this second slice of pie.  And if this is the time when we realize that we're getting behind at some stuff, this is also the time to correct our course and start planning some serious life roadmap for the last pie of life. This could be our wake-up call period.

But not everything is doom and gloom. Some of us will have the most successful time in our career or business than in any other period of our time. Some of us will make it to the top. Our business is booming, and we will amass so much wealth that we won't know what to do with it! Just kidding, I'm sure we will know what to do with it. This could be the glory days of our lives. And because of this success, some of us already entering early retirement and leaving the workforce for good.

This is the time to accumulate wealth, knowledge, and start building our life in shape.

3rd slice: Age 67 - 100 years old: The preservation period.
The last piece of the pie is usually the best. It's the final slice. Majority of folks in these group are retired and enjoying their ultimate vacation. It's like vacation every day, y'all! Just imagine this. Don't need to wake up to an alarm clock every Monday to Friday. No need to dress up every morning to go to work. And the best thing of all, no need to go to work at all! Work is done, school is done. Freedom!

The 3rd slice of pie means we have both things that we didn't have before: time and money. We have all the time in the world to do what we want to do (or to not do anything at all, perhaps?). And hopefully at this time, we already have a huge savings and retirement funds to ensure our quality of life is still at least the same of our previous lives, if not better.

Some of us going to enjoy the fruit of our labor for the rest of our lives, from this moment on. But unfortunately, some of us have life happens to us, like battling illness and sickness, and have to endure the health struggle. Or sometimes tragedy struck our families, crippling us into a moment of despair and hopelessness.

But those moments could happen in any other period of time, not necessarily this one.

Bottom line is, this is the period of time when we normally don't have too much demands in our life, and can just take it easy. Just relax, slow down, and enjoy our golden days. Till death do us part.

And that's our life, in 3 big slices of pies! :)

The Money Enigma

I can relate to Curious George.

There is a subject that always peek my curiosity.  This eventually become my passion. Other people pursue their passion of cooking, gardening, or crafting, while I pursue this thing since as long as I can remember.

This thing we call money. The finance matter.

As it turns out, in my twenty years journey demystifying the money history, I found out that it's not money itself that make it interesting, but the behavior on managing finances that make me want to learn mastering it.

I started with a book titled Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. From that book, I learned that there are 4 categories of how source of income being divided. I continue deepened his money philosophy by reading his next books, Cashflow Quadrant and The Business School.

Next, I read another money book titled The Richest Man in Babylon, by George S. Classon. A very interesting outlook about money. Old philosophy about savings and other important activities on how to win with money, with an interesting flair of another exotic and unique culture behind it.

My journey continues. I read The Millionaire Next Door, by Thomas J Stanley, which provides a refreshing take on how millionaires behave. Surprisingly, unlike the common perception, average millionaires do not flaunt their wealth. They live modestly, drive a two-year old paid off car, and living below their means. I guess that's why they are millionaires!

My husband knows that I love these finance stuff, so he gave me a book titled The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. This is one of the book that I would say change my life drastically. Thanks to Mr. Ramsey, I learn to do his seven baby steps to be financially happy!

Since I'm still ongoing on my financial quest to conquer money, I read the next book titled Retired Inspired, by Chris Hogan. I love how motivational this book can be! He lays out a game plan to have an HD (high definition) retirement dream. He detailed some obstacles preventing us having a dream retirement, along with the solutions to achieve a great retirement goal, so we all can retired with dignity!

Knowledge is like thirst. The more you drink, the more you become thirsty. So, not satisfied with all these money books I've read, now I land on the next best seller book, Love Your Life Not Theirs, by Rachel Cruze. I'm still in the middle of the book, so I can't tell you the conclusion yet. So far I learn that comparison is a killjoy, so no longer I want to compare my life with anybody else!

Understanding money and the behavior behind it is my passion. I love learning about these things. It's like unlocking a puzzle. It's like peeling an onion, layer by layer. The more I found the truth about money, the more I understand what to do with it. It's affecting all aspect of our life. The decision making we do impacting to our finances, the desire we need to limit while knowing we still have other obligations to meet, it makes us become a responsible adult.

I want to express my thanks to all the financial guru in the world who shares their wisdom about money and finance, and how it can directly touch our lives. Thank you for your financial education. Your insights and experience are so valuable, guiding us basic simple principle on how to master our money habits. And please, do continue to share this with the world! One day we all will be financially literate and able to pass along the wisdom to the next generation. And the next. And the next!

If you have great money books to read, please do share that with me! I would love to learn more!

Santa's Toy Factory

Once upon a time, there's an young bright elf name Hugo who works in Santa's toy factory. He has been working there for eight months and he likes his work. Hugo's job is to put the assembled toys into boxes, and lift the boxes into the factory's gigantic inventory room. This way, on the night of Christmas Eve, Hugo and his elves team can just move the boxes from the piling room into Santa's sleigh. Considering there are 1.9 billion children in the world, Hugo has to ensure that he does it fast and accurate, so this way he can meet his quota while not sacrificing quality of the work. After all, we don't want a disappointed children not getting their toys right.

One day while working, Hugo found that the quality of the toys were not up to standard. One of the dolls is missing one of the eyes. One of the mini trains has not being painted yet, looks all metallic. One of the children's oven does not have a functioning light bulb. One of the toy car has only three wheels. And he realized that at least there were twenty toys that are missing at least something important.

Hugo understood that these imperfections must be happening from the other department that is sending him the toys for the final assembly, so he went next door and meet the elf responsible for making the toys. He saw elf George is assembling a teddy bear. George has been working in Santa's toy factory for the last 20 years of his life, so he's definitely not a newcomer.

"Hi, George!"

"Hello young Hugo."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." George still attaching the teddy bear's leg to its body.

"I've noticed that there are about twenty toys that are not finished, but they are in the last batch that got send to my table to put into boxes. Could you repair them before we move these to Santa's sleigh?" Hugo put down a box full of the twenty malfunctioning toys.

George just shrugged his shoulder and said,"Well, we don't have enough material to cover all that, so they just need to make do. I haven't receive new shipment yet from the supplier department. And I have a quota to finish if we want to ensure 1.9 billion children get their toys."

Hugo wrinkles his nose. "Hmmmm, but this is not the right toy. They are ... broken toys. Not only it's not up to the standard, but these toys are far from done. Sally Dolly here is missing an eye. Train choo choo doesn't have a colorful paint all over. Mini bake oven doesn't have a light bulb inside, so a child won't know when a cake done being bake. And this cool Indy 500 race car doesn't even have the fourth wheel. No child would like to play with these unfinished toys."

George got defensive. "Look Hugo, do you know how much quota I have to fill to finish all these toys? I have to complete at least 500 toys every day. If out of 500 toys, there are 20 not so perfect ones, so what? They just got to deal with it. Me and my team need to finish these as fast as we could. So what is it's missing some stuff here and there? It's just a toy, it's not a real thing."

Hugo also has his own quota to finish. He has to move about 2000 boxes every day to the inventory room. But Hugo is not satisfied. He then went to the floor supervisor who oversees all the factory's operations. Another elf name Paul.

"Hi Paul!"

"Hey Hugo!"

"Paul, I'd like to report something to you. I think it's important for you to know this before we sending the gifts out to the children. I've found that there are about 20 toys that are not up to standard. You see all these toys in this box? Every single one of them are missing something. Looks incomplete to me. I spoke to elf George earlier, but he doesn't want to hear me out. He..."

"Whoa whoa whoa, you confronted George? You know he's very senior among all of us here."

"Well, I didn't really confronted him. I want to pointed out the imperfections so he can fix it. We don't want to sacrifice quality, do we? This way he will understand and ..."

"You told him that? You pointed out the missing things? That's harsh. You should not talk that way to George. You should soften your approach a bit to him. He's old you know. He can't just take direct feedback like that. You young people should always respect your elf elders. You can't just barge in and start pointing out flaws here and there. Have some elf manners there, boy."

Hugo looked astonished. He can't believe that instead of getting Paul involved to try to fix the issue, he got a feedback of his speech delivery! Unbelievable! Is this fixing the real issues?

"Look Hugo, I know you meant well. It is good that you notice these things. I will let you work with George together to fix this problem. I know you can do it. Just smooth it out. Nobody like being scolded like a toddler, right? You got this."

Poor Hugo.

This young elf thought that by involving George the toy maker, he could get the toys being fixed. Instead, George tuned him out and got busy with his own quota. Hugo went to Paul hoping a resolution to fix the problem George caused, but instead, Paul kept cutting him short and not listening to the whole story.   He was hoping that by getting George's and Paul's attention, he could at least get less broken toys in the next batch, or none at all. He is now thinking if he should just move to the reindeer maintenance department. At least Rudolph won't mind a broken carrot.

But Hugo didn't give up.

He finally went to the big boss, Santa, to report all this. He doesn't mention names, he just proposed that if he found broken toys, he would like to get Santa's permission to just discard the toys and not including those in for the next assembly. Santa agrees and will look into this matter deeply, because Santa doesn't like to waste resources as well.

So what's the moral of the story?
1. Never make a conclusion without having all facts on the table. 
If Paul could just hear Hugo out completely, Paul might be able to see Hugo's point pass the "speech delivery flaw". Hugo could choose to not bring the issue to Paul's attention, but he chose to do the right thing.

2. Don't miss the big picture.
What's the point of making toys? It is for the children, right? George the elf toy maker should be happy to get a feedback from Hugo, because that would make him be able to increase the quality of his work. 500 perfect toys are still better than 480 perfect toys, especially if you're going to allocate the same amount of time of working them.

3. Be resourceful and creative.
Hugo didn't give up. He came up with a solution that Santa agrees (for now), until the next better resolution is made up. Hugo did try to escalate things to the toy maker and floor supervisor, but their responses are not within Hugo's control at all. He thinks outside the box and he delivers a way out.

With time, Hugo, George, and Paul made up. And they live happily ever after. Making 1.9 billion toys for 1.9 billion children in the world.

The end.

Natal Keempat

Ini adalah Natal keempat tanpa hadiah-hadiah mewah. Ini adalah Natal yang tidak sarat dengan materialisme. Ini adalah Natal lagi yang akan membawa kesejahteraan untuk hidup keluargaku kelak.

Di musim panas tahun 2014, aku membaca suatu buku konsep keuangan yang betul-betul membantu untuk merubah perilakuku terhadap uang. Buku itu tidak bilang untuk tunda Natal. Buku itu hanya membantu memberikan saran-saran atas persepsi dan tingkah laku seseorang jika orang itu mau menang dengan uang.

Uang, bukan berarti mau kaya atau bikin orang jadi kikir. Tapi maksudnya adalah kita harus bisa menguasai uang, supaya uang tidak mengendalikan hidup kita. Istilah orang dulu adalah untuk bisa menghindari "besar pasak daripada tiang."

Bukunya berjudul Total Money Makeover, karangan Dave Ramsey. Aku tidak tahu apakah buku ini dijual atau tidak di Indonesia, tapi kalau tidak dijual di sana, coba saja cek Amazon, siapa tahu ada.

Nah, sejak tahun 2014, keluarga kami memutuskan untuk tidak memberi hadiah satu sama lain untuk tiap Natal. Kalau kamu tinggal di Amerika Serikat, kamu akan mengerti kenapa ini adalah satu hal aneh. Di negeri bule sini nih, kamu akan dicap macem2x kalau kamu nggak ngasih hadiah2x Natal. Aku tahu itu karena sejak aku "skip" Natal, banyak orang2x yang melihat aku seolah2x aku ini makhluk asing dari planet Mars.

Contohnya, pada bulan Desember tahun 2014 di kantorku, mereka mau mengadakan "White Elephant". Istilah white elephant (atau gajah putih) artinya tiap orang akan memberikan satu hadiah Natal bagi satu (atau lebih) orang lain, dimana hadiah itu biasanya mahal dan ekspensif. Ini berasal dari legenda Raja Siam memberi hadiah gajah albino yang langka untuk orang yang tidak menyenangkan hatinya, supaya orang itu jadi bangkrut karena pembiayaan gajah yang sangat tinggi.

Tahun 2015, perayaan Natal di rumah tetap sederhana. Berhubung ini adalah masa transisi dari kerjaan lama ke kerjaan baru, kita tidak dibebani oleh kantor untuk acara tukar-menukar hadiah Natal.  Tidak bela beli hadiah lagi, melainkan tetap menghabiskan waktu bersama keluarga dan memberi perhatian satu sama lain.

Tahun 2016, kantor baruku merayakan Natal dan lagi-lagi aku "terpaksa" ikut berpartisipasi dalam program "Secret Santa". Konsep yang mirip dengan "White Elephant", tapi bedanya, ini tiap minggu kita harus ngasih hadiah pada salah satu orang yang namanya diundi untuk kita. Berarti 3 minggu berturut2 ngasih paling tidak 3 hadiah total, dan di minggu keempat kita "diharapkan" memberikan satu hadiah bergengsi. Ya okelah, kuturuti dengan hati berat, walaupun sebetulnya nggak mau.

Tahun 2017, tahun ini, aku narik garis batas. Sama seperti tahun lalu, program Secret Santa kembali datang menghampiri. Tapi bedanya, kali ini aku bilang tidak. Aku menolak untuk berpartisipasi. Bukannya karena aku pelit, tapi aku ini punya keuangan yang terbatas. Dalam arti kata aku masih punya hutang hipotek untuk dilunasi untuk rumah kami, mesti juga terus menambah tabungan dana pensiun untuk hari tua kelak (apalagi aku kan nggak punya anak, nggak bisa mengharapkan anak akan menjagaku kalau nanti aku tua renta, lah anaknya aja nggak ada!). Dan masih punya segudang keperluan lain yang harus dipersiapkan seperti dana keadaan darurat, tagihan kanan kiri untuk hidup, dan lain sebagainya.

Dan ajaibnya, aku tidak merasa bersalah untuk kembali lagi dalam situasi Natal tanpa hadiah. Malah aku pikir, arti Natal yang sebetulnya kan bukan hadiah. Yesus lahir di bumi justru dalam keadaan yang sangat jauh dari kemewahan dan keagungan. Malahan Yesus mengambil bentuk yang sesederhana mungkin, sebagai hamba yang lahir di palungan hewan. Natal yang sesungguhnya adalah memahami contoh yang diberikan Yesus, untuk semakin sederhana dan rendah hati. Bukannya pesta sana sini dan bikin orang jadi bangkrut!

Bilang tidak adalah sesuatu yang tidak gampang dilakukan. Tapi kadang kita harus bilang tidak kalau kita mau sukses dalam bidang apapun itu. Sama aza kan kayak bilang tidak untuk kue-kue dan donat-donat berkalori tinggi kalau kita mau serius nurunin berat badan. Ya keuangan juga sama. Kadang kita harus berani menyangkal diri sendiri kalau kita mau maju. Kalau nanti kita sudah punya banyak berlebih-lebih uang sampai nggak tau mau diapain tuh uang, boleh deh kita bilang iya ke hadiah Natal. Mau pilih mana? Sejahtera di hari tua karena rajin menabung, atau foya-foya sekarang dan kere kemudian?

Berakit-rakit ke hulu,
berenang-renang ke tepian.
Bersakit-sakit dahulu,
Bersenang-senang kemudian.

The Alphabet Problem

Is D better than F?

(academically speaking).

Technically yes, D is better than F. But if the standard passing grade in school is C, then is it really better? If C means pass, anything below C means not pass, then basically D is not better than F.

One day when I was a naive young student, I came home with my report card. I passed for majority of my classes, even getting some As and Bs. But, there is one subject that I didn't pass. I got a D on PE (Physical Education). I guess I prefer being a brainiac than being physically fit? Anyway, I got home and remember being so scared to face my dad. So I "strategize" myself in presenting my report card to him.

"Pa, D is better than F, ya?" asked this silly little girl.

He looked at me with a knowing look. Then he simply said,"Well B is better than D."

I guess I can't fool him. Wise dad after all.

Long story short, I grew up with a conviction, that anything below par is not acceptable. It doesn't mean that I have to be on top of everything, got As in every single subject, but I know I can't afford to be below the minimum grade requirement, not even a D. Don't mention F too me, really.

This attitude stay with me for all my adult life. I strive to be the best, as best as I can. I don't accept "mediocre" thinking, a philosophy that good enough is better than nothing. Well, sometimes the enemy of best is not worst, but "good".

"It's good for me to have this C, at least it's not a D."

If that's the best you can do, okay, that's great. But you know that you don't give it your all, when you delay studying because you need to finish this level on that awesome video game. When you delay studying because you have to talk to your boyfriend about this important decision of life called shoe shopping. You know you didn't give it your best shot, when you keep procrastinating on studying your books for watching just one more episode of your favorite TV show. You know that. I know that, because I was guilty of all those charges before! :)

So, if you did give it your all, and you still got a C, then is that means good? Ok, that means you pass.

But if you give it all and you still got a D, that means you have work to do. Maybe you can reach out to a tutor or mentor to coach you and help you to understand the subject. Maybe you need to look at it from different perspective. It'll push you to be creative and resourceful. Or that simply means, you just need to pay attention 100% and not get distracted with your game, boyfriend (or girlfriend), or TV shows. Or anything that preventing you to focus on your study material!

It's your attitude in life that will carry you far far away above the mediocrity of our society. Change your thinking and you'll change your life.

D is not better than F. Go get an A!