Bills, Gas, and Dishes in the Sink

There are same principle that I applied when it comes to bills, gas, and dishes in the sink. I do it right away. I do it while they still "small". I don't wait until it all pile up.

For my bills, I do it right away when they come. I don't pile all the bills until it got into an unmanageable level. I don't wait until due date, ho ho ho, not me!

For gas, if I see the tank is between a quarter or half empty, I fill it right away. I don't even wait until half actually. A principle I inherited from my dad. Papa always said, when your gas reach a quarter empty, fill it out. You never know what happen in life that may make you not have a chance to fill it up. And before you know it, you'll reach the E line (aka Empty).

For dishes in the sink, I wash it right away. While it's only 1 or 2 plates. Do it NOW. That way my sink is always empty and free from dirty dishes. I love the emptiness of my sink. Feel so zen.

I feel so organized living this way. Everything is in order. And I love order in my life. Feel so peaceful, calm, and content with finishing things that I need to working on. I feel accomplished! Try out this principle. You may benefit on having less stress when it comes to pay bills, fill up gas, and washing dishes in the sink.

This principle I applied too to managing my email in my inbox. Once email come, I "work" on it. I either reply, work on the task of it, or file it in it's respected folders. Both my personal email and my work emails have some folders. This really helps me to organize emails. I could be really stress when I see 1000++ email on someone's inbox. It feels so cluttered and organized. And how you can find something on those gigantic massive piles of emails?

Do something while it small helps to make our life more efficient. That way we will gain more time too. Instead of spending 1 hour tackling bills, now you only spend 10 minutes max. Sometimes even less if you just paying 1 bill online. Click, click, and done!

Hope you can apply this tips and find this useful! After all, we all can live more peaceful with some organization and de-cluttered lives. Less stress this way.

Buy a house vs Rent an apartment?

When one can afford, of course the choice is to buy a house.

But buying a house is not just buying a house. From my experience as a homeowner for 9 years, buying a house is a responsibility.

In your apartment, if something breaks down, you can just call the maintenance and they fix it for you for free, without you have to worry calling your own plumber when the toilet doesn't work. But when you're a homeowner, well, you better have the directory of jack of all trades. Since when things broken, you gotta either fix it yourself, or be ready to shell out a shocking amount of money to fix whatever need to be fixed.

Also eventually things need to be replaced. Roof eventually need to be replaced and they are not cheap. When you want to become a homeowner, are you ready for this? Do you already set aside some house sinking funds to pay for all the maintenance at your property?

So now that I'm being back to single life again, it's just so simple me of me to just rent an apartment. I can save a lot of money so one day I can buy a house again, hopefully with my future husband! Whoever that is! :)

There's another choice - manufactured home. Aka mobile home. But I just don't feel like it. Buying a mobile home is kinda a cross between buying a real home and renting an apartment, because you don't own the land. You have to pay the rent for the land. And you know with renting, is always going up. Unless if you buy a manufacture home and buy the land together.

I am content living in my apartment now. I'm going to give it 2 years. It's not wasting money, actually it's saving money. Why? Because the cost is really make a difference. Owning a home is not just mortgage. It's utilities. It's fixing the stuff. It's setting aside money to fix fence, roof, future broken things. It's things so of course it will be broken.

Beside that, I don't feel I want to own a home when I'm single and never home. I work 40 hours a week minimum (and I work Saturday too occasionally, so there you go, about 43 hours/week). And on Sunday, I ran errands and like to do out and about. I rarely home. Possibly just enjoying my single life now. Hehehe. I feel that I want to own a home with my future new family. So we'll see.

So in the meantime, I'm saving money now by living in apartment. I only pay rent for the place for me to sleep, and the place for my car to sleep aka garage, hehehehe. It's cost effective. So now I can save, save, save!

I love my apartment. The management are so good. They also have great amenities like clubhouse, gym (yay free membership), pool, hot tub, and trash valet, plus security guards at night. How awesome!!! I'm just enjoying my life now! :) Enjoy it as long as I can before I buy my next house!

Want to be happy?

1. Don't be jealous.

2. Don't compare.

3. Gratitude.

4. Be content.

5. Take it easy and be peaceful.

3 Best Habits of Rich People

In this video, Dan Lok desribe the 3 best habits of rich people.

1. Count your money first.

2. Pay yourself first.

3. Improve your earning ability.

And Dan Lok closed it with this quote:

"You don't decide your future.
You decide your habits and your habits decide your future."

Contentment

I used to think that I want to be happy.

Boy, I was wrong!

As I grow up and become more and more mature, I learn in life that the secret of happiness is not by being happy. It's actually by being content.

Contentment is a state of mind where we may not have everything we want, but we are grateful and thankful for everything we already have.

Contentment is being satisfied with less, and not lured into a trap of having more. Basically, being content. The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach. Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol, you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

I feel that if we truly want to be happier, we need to learn to be content with what we already have. Whether possession, people, activities, experience, or anything. We should really count our blessings and start making our gratitude list. Focus on the blessings we already possess.

If we keep chasing "happiness", doing anything in the name of "happiness", do whatever we want because we want to be "happy", we are just like a hamster in a wheel. Keep running and chasing and not really realizing that we already given so many good things that other people want! We should not use "happiness" to justify the wrongdoing we did. We shouldn't let go something good because we want something "better". That better is just an illusion. One day you'll wake up and realize that what you had was actually the best thing that ever happened to you. And that "better" is not really better, is actually worst but you were just blind in the moment.

When you can think of yesterday without regret, and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment. Let go of the past. Let it go. It's already gone. Learn the lesson and move forward. Live in the present. And not too worry for the future. You prepare the future by living your best life now, at the present. That's how you would eliminate fear of living in the future.

William E Gladstone once said : be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness.

Contentment is the key of living in peace, calm, and state of tranquility. If you want to be happy, be content.

8 Tips From NowFuture

1. You wanna blow money? Put it in a "blow" category in your budget. At least admit it on paper!

2. If you don't have the money, you can't buy it!

3. The world will try to tell you that you need stuff to be somebody. Don't listen.

4. If you help enough people, you don't have to worry about money.

5. Success is a pile of failure that you are standing on.

6. You've got to tell your money what to do or it will leave.

7. Broke is normal. Why be normal?

8. Act your wage.

The Action Gratitude

Today is January 12, 2019, one of the happiest day in my life? Why? Because I feel so accomplished by having an action gratitude! Gratitude is not just being grateful for the things or people you have, but also being grateful for the activities you did! Your accomplishment!

Here's what I did so far today:

1. Blogging. I blog 4 Class of Love.

2. Making my own oatmeal breakfast while listening to Dan Lok's podcast.

3. Went to the gym and spend good 30 minutes there. Exercising with 3 different type of machines.

4. Went to Fred Meyer to do my weekly groceries shopping. Pump gas too, by myself.

5. Went to Party City to buy my party's preparation for next week: plates, cups, spoons, forks, knives,  tablecloths, 2 different type of napkins. And all in the blue theme since I love blue so much!

6. Went to the mall and enjoy life!
  a. Fix my bluetooth. It was not connected properly apparently. Thanks, Damien!
  b. Fix my new white working pant that I bought from White House Black Market. The pant was too long, so I have my tailor hemmed it. Will pick it up next Thursday. :)
  c. Having a nice 20 minutes massage at Orchid Massage. My therapist Shirley really knows how to make me relax and feel asleep. Took a good nap there!
  d. Bought 5 new candles from The Yankee Candles. Hmmmm, new scent at my home every morning.
  e. Bought 6 new earrings! Well, technically 3, since it's buy 3 get 3 free! Hehehehe.
  f. Bought a dozen of assorted mini cupcakes from Cupcakes Jones, the new cupcake store in the mall.

7. Cooked my lunch : Cauliflower & sausage fritata. And kale chips.

8. Having lunch while watching The Bible : The Samson and Delilah episode. Lesson learned, Samson, lesson learned. The lunch was wonderful, finishing off with cantaloupe fruits and 2 mini cupcakes (red velvet & german chocolate) as the dessert.

9. Went hot tubbing. Enjoying the green scenery of my beautiful apartment complex! While in the hot tub, I enjoy a hot chai latte too, courtesy of my apartment staff! Isn't that wonderful?

10. Doing laundry.

11. Took a lovely shower with my favorite soap from The Bath & Body Works. Hmmmm, it's Whipped Vanilla & Spice.

12. Swiffer my apartment, both the sweeper and the wet jet. Also dusting the shelves too. Simply cleaning!

13. Facebook : upload new photos and captioning the albums.

14. Talked with my cousin Jeffrey who lives in Canada via Whatsapp

15. Talked with my friend Sandra about our appointment next Sunday. Too bad we should take a rain check for now.

And now it's only 3.26 pm! Oh boy! That means I still have time to do the next thing I want to do : play Kindle games, reading the Necessary Endings book, finishing watching The Bible, cook dinner, facebooking, putting clean laundry away, paying bills, and etc!

I love this action gratitude journal. It makes me feel so productive and creative. I get to do anything I want to do and I need to do. I love having time of my own now. Most likely Monday to Friday, for 8 hours my time is not mine, is my company's. Which I don't mind because I do really like working anyway. I don't work to be rich. I work because I love working. And having compensation is enough to extend my living. :)

When this blog is finished, that means I finish 1 more thing on my plate : Finishing 2nd blog of the day! Wow! Usually I blog just once a day, or once a week, or once every blue moon, lol. This time I'm on fire! :)

4 Class of Love

There are 4 class of love:

1. Love Eros
2. Love Because
3. Love Eventhough
4. Love Agape

So let's look deeper into each one of these love.

1. Love Eros.
Love Eros is the physical love. It's the law of attraction. We are attracted to someone because of their looks, personality, or any external factors that make us drawn to that person.  Love Eros is similar to lust. We want that person to be ours because that person looks perfect in our eyes. We don't see their negative habits yet. We don't want to see their shortcoming. All we see is just rainbow. This is where lot of people say "Love is Blind."

2. Love Because.
Love because he/she loves me back. Love because she take care of my children. Love because he is a hardworking guy who never afraid of work. Love because give us reason why we love that person. This is the second level of love. No longer because of physical love, but we look deeper beyond the looks. Love because he and I had been married for 10 years. Love because whatever that because reason is.

3. Love Eventhough
My dad used to say that Love Eventhough is the hardest type of love. Because this love, is a love, eventhough that person hurt you. Eventhough you're not together anymore. How you can still show love eventhough the love chapter seems to be over? It requires a very big heart and humble soul to be able to display love eventhough. Love that continue to be giving from the heart eventhough that person no longer love you anymore. Love eventhough they don't care about you. But you still love them nonetheless. It doesn't mean you want to be abused and neglected, but that means you still treat them with respect as a human being, with dignity, with integrity.

4. Love Agape.
This is God's love. This is God's love for us. And our love for God. This is the ultimate class of love. How we can continue to love God although sometimes He seems distant? But we have to believe that God always love us, no matter what we do, where we are, or when we are (when we young or old). God's love is always and forever. For eternity. Until our soul is gone from our body. And until we one day join our Heavenly Father for good.

La Vita E Bella

La vita è bella. Life is beautiful.

This movie inspires me so much! 

I firstly saw this movie on the tour bus in Italy, 2004, when me and my Standard Chartered Bank colleagues went there. This movie was so powerful and inspiring, that I got to get the DVD the minute I get back to Indonesia! And I brought that movie to USA in 2005.

This movie still inspires me until today. Because of this movie, I believe that my life now and in the future will still beautiful.

Thank you, Roberto Benigni. ♥

The Rich Mindset

Dan Lok's podcast tells it all :

1. Poor people watch TV, rich people read books.
2. Poor people get paid based on time, rich people get paid based on results.
3. Poor people blame others for their misfortunes, rich people take responsibility for our own failures.
4. Poor people focus on saving, rich people focus on investing.
5. Poor people think they know it all, rich people continuously learn.
6. Poor people believe that money is the root of all evil, rich people believe that poverty is the root of all evil.
7. Poor people have a lottery mentality, rich people have an action mentality.

This is what Brian Tracy call it the Wealth Mindset.

For me, the rich or wealth mindset comes from the principle of abundance. Instead of thinking of scarcity, think of abundance. See some areas that you already "rich". What do you have a lot right now?

When I moved from my house to my apartment, I didn't realize that I was rich in ... hangers! I have like millions hangers!! Well, I came from a family of four adults, with their own clothes and hangers. And suddenly now I am a family of 1, inherit all those hangers, hahahaa!! But you get my point. See an area where you have a lot, and you are "rich" in that particular area.

Now obviously we live in this planet earth. As long you live here, and not in Mars, the standard of "rich" is define as a materialistic ones, aka money and possession. But seriously, you don't have to have a lot of money or possession to feel rich. Money and stuff are indicators of how well you are in life. You worked so hard but nothing to show it? Well, then use your money wisely. So this way in the future finally you have something to show it!

To want to be rich, first we have to have the right mindset first. Have the rich mindset, then do what the rich do. Learn what the rich learn. Live how the rich live. Most rich people they actually being frugal, use coupons, and they live under their means. They use their resources wisely. So all start with having the right attitude and mindset of becoming rich.

Living Debt-Free

As I was sitting in the Umami Cafe inside the Portland Japanese Garden, I reflect how my life is right now. With all the tall greenery surrounded me, and the breathtaking view of the zen garden, I daydream to my current situation. I am living debt-free. And how liberating is that.

For me, living debt free means I can choose to spend my money without the burden to pay the creditor. So with little money that I have, I bought this cute blue fan, complete with it's golden "sheath". And this beautiful fan is matching the painting in this wall screener. Isn't that cool?

This fan will have a dual purpose at my home!
1. In the winter - spring time, it'll be an artwork decoration in my bedroom.
2. In the summer - fall time, it'll be a real fan when it's hot in the summer! I always like real paper fan anyway compared to AC. It's so fancy, stylish, and reminds me of those Asian noble lady in the last centuries or so! :)

Dave Ramsey was right. The life is different when you live debt-free. Not any single debt at all. It doesn't mean a life without expenses. There's still bills to pay, food to buy, and all the necessities of life to be taken care of. But living debt-free means we are free from debt. Free from bondage.

So now, the money that I make, I can direct it towards anything I want. At the moment, I'm putting 30% away to retirement, 10% to savings, and just live with 60% of what I've made. I don't make much (well... not as much as I want to.... yet!), but I'm training myself to live with less than what I've made. I'm not going to full blast my expenses to match 100% of my income.

The good news of living debt free, is that now I get to choose from the menu. I can choose the $4 Mochi Ice Cream (premium chocolate ice cream ball wrapped in sweet rice dough) or the $8 Manju's bean paste pastry. Although I have the power to buy the $8 dessert, I still choose the $4 dessert. Why? This way I have enough to tip the nice waitress! Somehow I'm already trained to look for the least expensive price for the same quality of the things. Well I know mochi and manju are not apple to apple, but in my eyes, they are simply dessert. If I can only choose one dessert today,... I choose Mochi. But my taste might be different tomorrow though! Maybe next time I visit the garden, I'll try that Manju! :)

I want to thank you my parents. I saw them living debt-free when I was a child growing up in Jakarta, Indonesia. Their house is fully paid off. They bought a foreclosed home and make it their own. They renovate the kitchen and make it modern. All with cash, no credit. Their car is bought (means they pay upfront all of it, no installment loans). They use their credit card for convenience, and they pay it off every month before the due date. My parents are the perfect example of how living debt free means. And I carry that image until now I'm living in my fourth decade.

I want to thank Dave Ramsey. I read his book Total Money Makeover (twice!) thru my Kindle, and that book changed my life. Dave taught me that it is possible to live debt-free. I won't be where I am today without him.

I also want to thank Chris Hogan. Chris reminds me that the race is not finished. After debt free, I still have to strive to fund my future days ahead aka retirement. His motto is "I'm focused but not finished", rang true to my every single day. I am focused on my goals, and I not finished yet, I am still running this "marathon. I am looking forward to read his next new book : Everyday Millionaires. Already pre-order it! Waiting it to be arrived in my Package Concierge locker in my apartment!

I want to thank Rachel Cruze. Her book : Love Your Life, Not Theirs, is really an eye opener for me. Rachel taught me to focus on my life, not anyone else. When I shifted the focus to myself, I get to work on myself. I can stop comparing to the Joneses. The Joneses ain't that great. They look great because we only see the surfarce, we only see their Facebook photos and Instagram post. But we don't see their struggle while they are sitting in their dining table, trying to rob Peter to pay Paul.

My parents, Dave, Chris, Rachel.  People that had changed my life for good. Wherever you are, whether you can read this post or not, just know that you have my gratitude. I love you and I will always do. I will never forget the kindness, the life lessons, and how big was the impact you've made to me and my life.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Thanks to all of you now I can truly live debt-free. For good.

A lesson from Dan Lok

I was listening to Dan Lok's podcast this morning.

I learn from him that in this life we go through 4 stages:

1. Survival stage.
He learn this from a very young age. Make sense. When we were young, we go into,"A survival mode." We are to survive.

2. Security stage.
Paying bills, have roof over our head, got a car, taking care of your family.

3. Success stage.
Not everyone will be in here. Just a percentage of people will move to stage 3. When you're successful, you don't have everything you need, you have everything you want.

4. Significant stage.
It's no longer just about you. It's no longer about here's what I want. It's about a legacy. What's your impact. What do you want to leave behind? What do you want to be known for after you gone?

The hardship, the tragedy, that might be the greatest thing that ever happened to you. It all depends on how you interpret it.

If you're not grateful with what you have, you're not going to be grateful when you have more.
(This for me basically means, if you're not happy now, you won't be happy later. Very true, Dan!)

Be grateful with what you have while you strive for more.

Tough Yet True Love

When you truly love someone, you have to let him/her go. You have to let them live the way they want to live. If they love you and want to be with you, they will find their way back home. And if not, then it is what it is.

Love sometimes is letting them fail. Letting them learn their own mistakes so they can grow.

Love sometimes is purposely to not do anything to "save" them. If we keep rescuing them, they will never learn. It will create co-dependency. It will not make them grow. It stunted their maturity. We are doing a disservice if we keep "helping" them.

This is what tough love is. It's tough, and it comes from the heart. We just want the best for them. And sometimes, the best is to let them do things they want to do and have them learn to face the consequences.

Just the same thing when mother bird is trying to teach her baby bird how to fly. She pushes her baby bird off the nest so the baby bird can start learning to flap its own wings. If the mama bird keep "protecting" her baby, by shielding the baby from the truth harsh fact of life, then the baby bird will never learn to fly. And when the baby bird becomes an adult, she will just stay in her nest, comfortable fed by the mama bird until the mama bird dies. And then what happened? Is the adult baby bird going to start fly then when she's 63 years old? When the mama bird no longer alive and now she has to feed her own self?

Experience is the best teacher.

And we can only get experience by trial and error. By learning from our mistake and find out the right way. Mistake is not a failure. Mistake is simply a wrong way of doing things. So we continue to learn until we find the right way of doing things. Of thinking things. Of feeling things.

Now that is true love. You have true love in your heart for your "loved" ones when you truly can let them go, and free them to live whatever lifestyle they want to live. Love doesn't mean we always be together. Love means that I love you. And I accept you the way you are. Even though we are not together anymore. For now.

This blogpost is dedicated to all the people I love. You know who you are.

TBT vs FF

For now, I'm no longer going to do TBT - Throwback Thursday. You know, putting pictures in Facebook of your younger days, reminiscing.

Instead I'm going to do FF - Future Friday. I'm going to put my vision there. Where I'm going to be next. What I'm going to do next. What do I WANT to be when I "grow up".  This activity is what I called : Futuring.

Doesn't matter if I reach it or not. Doesn't matter if it will happen or not. What matter is I'm looking forward instead of looking back. This is more like a vision board for me, virtually.

Why always looking back at the past? What's in the past anyway? You've learned the lesson, right? Move on!!!

Am I living in the 20th century now?

No! I am now living in the 21st century! So now the way I think, do, and live must be aligned with how the 21st century living. It's progressive thinking, not regress. It's learning environment, not just stay with the past glories.

Your achievement in the past are great, but keep working to the next project! Don't linger there. Do you know what happen if Walt Disney just stop at making Snow White and that's it? Do you know what happen if Leonardo DiCaprio just stop at Titanic and that's it? (Hint : Click the link above to see what happen if Walt or Leo stop).

Today, Friday, Jan 4, 2019, here's what I put in my Facebook:

FF (Future Friday) - Instead of posting TBT, I'm now going to post FF! This is where I'm going to be in the next 38 weeks! Yeah!!! ^_^

#FF #NY #StatueofLiberty

Basically FF is a form of a written goal, well in this case, a posted goal. Make my goal known so this way I can be hold accountable. It's not just the activities of what I'll do. It's where I want to be next in life. So maybe next Friday, I'll post my dream job. My vision in my career life. Maybe I'll post which people that I'm going to meet? Barack Obama perhaps?

This is a way to keep me motivated and moving forward. And up! Just like my 2019 New Year's resolution.

FF is a new trend now. World, watch out!

Life Coach

"We are not meant to be alone." - Genesis 2:18.

Basically it doesn't mean that we have to be paired one by one. This simply means that we are human beings with social needs. We need other people to survive in this world. Even when we become a couple, we still need other people too.

Do you have a car? Do you work on your car yourself when it broke? Yes if you are a mechanic. But if you have no experience in handling your car, would you do it yourself? You would bring it to your mechanic, right? There you go. You need a mechanic to fix your car!

Do you grow your own foods? In daily basis? Make your own bread from scratch? Milk the cow? You need farmers to do those things for you. You need the delivery driver to transport the goods between the farmer to the store. And if you are one of those people who do online shopping including your groceries, you still need UPS or Fedex to bring your items to your home.

In everything we do, we need other people. And to be more successful in life, we need to continue learning. The skills we learned 20 years ago now become more and more obsolete.

Imagine 400-500 years ago. When becoming a great blacksmith was still a popular job. There's this kid that wants to grow up to be his dad, the most popular blacksmith in his town. His dad can make any knights proud from the swords he made. His dad can make a beautiful sharp dagger complete with the rhinestones on the hilt. Simply put, if you go to his dad's blacksmith shop, guaranteed you'll have the most dangerous weapon on earth. You can wipe your enemies with one swing.


The kid perfected his craft every single day to be the next great blacksmith. He never stop learning. Until one day, he accidentally sleep for a very long time and wake up in the year of 2019. He woke up and realize that now there are no more blacksmith around. There are even no more knights and squires around to be his dad's customers! The skills that this kid learnt is obsolete. There's no need to be a blacksmith anymore, since even the kitchen knives are produced in the factory.

This story illustrates that we need to continue learning of skills that will still relevant in the future. And as for me, the one thing that will still relevant is life skills. How to handle life perfectly. Let's be optimist. We're still going to live for the next 40-50 years down the road right? So if we still live until that long, why don't we get help from other people to better our lives?

Get a life coach!

Life coach is somebody (or a group of people) that will be your mentor in life. Life coach is like a personal trainer, they are there to coach you to be better in life. They won't tell you how to live your life, that's up to you. But they will teach you the skill to get ahead in life.

You can read books, listen to podcasts, and surround yourself with knowledge all day. But you will be more effective when you incorporate a real human being to help you along the way with this journey we call life. It can be anybody! It can be your family that's richer in experience than you. It can be your teachers in school. It can be your boss and coworkers who had done it. It can be anyone!

I realized that now I am where I am now because I have so many life coaches! They all different people with unique perspective and individualists, making my experience more diverse and colorful. The benefit I reap from having life coaches are so many. I can learn from their life stories. I can be warned for things I shouldn't do and avoid. I can be shown new ways to improve my lifestyle, from beauty tips to healthy eating to strong mindset.

If you want to better your life, find a mentor or two. Ask their opinion. Get feedback. Only by honest coaching we will grow. We don't want to be stuck in the rut, right? We want to keep growing in life, like bamboo. Never stop learning. Especially from the life coaches! Your future self will thank you later. :)

Choose Your Attitude

Only dead people don't have stress. - Susan David.

I heard that line this morning as I get up and in my morning routine, listening to Ted Talk and learning a thing or two.  I think of those words. I reflect what's the deeper meaning behind it.

Only dead people don't have problems, isn't it? Only dead people don't have struggles and challenges in life. As long we still alive, we will always face dilemma, choices, difficult problematic situation. But it's up to us how we choose our attitude. It's up to us to use our resources, like our minds and emotions, to "respond" to the challenge in life. It's our internal response that determine our action, not the other way around.

I always want to think positive, and practice that every single moment. Not day, but in moment. In a day, there's 24 hours. 1440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. So every second, I think positive. I feel positive. When there's challenging situation, I took a step back and take a deep breath. Calm my feelings. And use my brain to logically think the alternatives scenarios and solutions to the problem. Of course this resolution could take days, weeks, and months. But eventually in the end of the problem, I've gained clarity. I am able to be wise and not rushing into hasty decisions.

It's not a matter of just thinking. Feeling too. Our emotions are part of our self. It's being a human being. We can't just dismiss our feelings and just think, think, think. No. Actually, part of the unique reason why we are a supreme beings (what differentiate us between human, animal, and plants), is our ability to think and feel at the same time. Our emotions are one of the best aspect of us. We use our creativity, feelings, and produce beautiful things such as arts and music.

So now, with the power of combining our logical thinking ability, and our strong emotional feelings, we should be able to choose our attitude wisely. The problem that happens to us are just 10%. 90% of it is how we choose to respond. We can choose the easy way out, or the natural response that we have been using for the last 3-4 decades we alive in this world. Or.... we can train ourselves to be one step better. We can be better. Think and feel better. Think and feel positive first. See the silver linings. Don't give up if you fail. Try and try again. It does requires practice.

One of my leader in Standard Chartered Bank, Mr. Darmadi, always emphazised the power of attitude. It's our attitude that differentiate us from the other peer.  If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, accept it. And move on. And change our attitude about it. Our perspective. We probably need to replace our lens.

Remember, once the negativity talks, try to drag you down, resist it. Don't succumb into temptation. Don't allow self-destruct thinking at all. Instead focus on what's right. Be grateful for your situation, no matter how good or bad it is. It is always easy to be thankful when you have everything you want. So the real challenge is, how to stay thankful when you have nothing going your way. It's an art. And like always, it's requires practice.

And when I talk about this topic, I can't exclude two special people in my life that reminds me in daily basis to choose my attitude. My leader in Bank of America, Angie Overall, and my co-pilot Edward Bernstein. Iron sharpens iron. We always challenge each other to have a bright positive attitude about anything that happen to our working day. And not only that, to our lives as well. To our health, both physically and mentally. I am thankful to be in their circle!

Choose your attitude. In daily basis. In every single moment. You will have a better life when you have a better attitude.

Work vs Retirement

Lately, I kept hearing people want to retire. All talks about retirement. Retire early, retire young. Or just simply retired. I asked some of them. Most of them said that they want to retire so they don't have to go to work. So they can have freedom for what they want to do in their free time. So they no longer work the work they hate. 

Isn't that the right reason to retire though?

To retire because they hate working? To retire so they can do whatever they want? To retire so they can go vacation all the time, sit at home and binge watch Netflix and Hulu all day? To go shopping all day in the mall? To dine in restaurants every night and don't have to cook?

One of my friend asked me just few days ago, when I want to retire? And I ask myself the same question. When do I want to retire? When my asset is at certain number? When my age at certain number?

Since I love working, I told her, I probably would never retire!

Even after my official retirement at 65 (maybe, we'll see), I would like to find a part time work somewhere so I can still be active and be involved in social activities. I can volunteer that's true, but it's no fun to volunteer all the time. It's no fun to play golf all the time. It's no fun to dine lobster every night. At some point, it'll be more challenging to have real hurdle in life. And looks like work is the hurdle of being free.

So now I come to this thinking. We should not want to retire because we hate our work. If that's the case, we should find the work we love. The field we can thrive. And if we can't find the work we love, then love the work we have. Love what we have. Many people would want to trade in our shoes to have the job we currently have right now!

I changed my mindset. Instead of hating work, I am loving work now. I feel accomplished. I feel fulfilled with working hard with my hands, my brain, and my everything. I feel contributing. And because of that, I feel content and happy with life.

You know what they say, find the job you love and you'll never work for the rest of your live. That is so very true! I feel amazing every time I go to work. I get to dressed up, put my make up on, put my best face forward, and drive to the office I love. Then I get to meet the co-workers and boss I love working with. I said love, not like. So there will be days that you just want to strangle them, but in the end of the day you still love them. Then when the bank open (I work in a bank), I get to meet the customers, and I love all of them!!!

I think that throughout my 20 years experience in the workforce, I always love my job and the companies I work for, including all the people I associated with. Each of them are unique and different. And I know this is not forever. Meaning at certain point in my life, I will stop working with them and move on to my next stage in life.

I learn the key of happiness is not to wait for the next chapter in our life to appear. Not to wait until we finish working and then be happy. Most of us work from 9 to 5, and the entrepreneurs even work 24/7, so if you wait to be happy after you finish your work, then practically you never will be happy! You spend a third of your waking hours at workplace, that is a big chunk of your day! 33%! So why don't we aim to be happy now that we are still fit enough to work, still have energy to produce, and to contribute to our society?

I'm not going to wait for my retirement days to be happy. I am happy now during my working days. I am content and happy. Whether it's work or retirement, I'll be happy nonetheless.

Well one thing for sure. While you're working, keep working on your retirement funds! You will need it one day. :)

The Art of Finding What's Right

In my previous blog post, The Secret of Happiness, I outlined that one of the critical point to be happy is to find what's right in our lives. The art of finding what's right is not to have ALL situations to be aligned perfectly. Far from that. But rather, to take notice of every single thing, no matter how small it is, that is going right in our lives.

It's simply a gratitude action. To be thankful for everything. Even though our circumstances seems to be in the bottom of the pit, but there must be something that is still good and worth to be praise of. This takes discipline and effort. It doesn't happen unconsciously.

It's a habit. When you cultivate gratitude, realize what is still going right in your life, to be thankful for everything that has been given to you, then eventually this habit will become your way of life. It's an auto pilot to think positive. It is a skill, so like any other skill, it can be practiced and honed in a daily basis.


Let's start with simple things:

1. Be thankful that we still have good health. Complete body organs. All still functioning.

2. Good family, wherever they are. That still love you and care for you.

3. Great friends. Accepting you for who you are. Lifting you up when you down. Cheer on your success.

4. Wonderful home sweet home. It could be your house, apartment, or even a temporary place like hotel and AirBnb. A place where you can sleep. Roof over your head.

5. We eat today. If you can still be able to eat each day, that means you are blessed. To not go to sleep hungry.

6. Good job or business. To be able to work and produce so we can support our lives. That is one blessing that sometimes people overlook by grumbling how difficult their job are. Never! Never take your job or business or income for granted. That is blessing from above and it should be respected.

7. The internet. Oh how wonderful is this thing! We can expand our knowledge and stay connected.

8. Mall and shops. Oh ya I am thankful for this "Retail Therapy". There's a joy in shopping. Hehe.

9. Clean air. The world is getting better. The experts are helping decreasing pollution.

10. You heard the birds singing in the the trees on the street you just walked by. Beautiful nature.

11. Tall trees all around. I lived in Washington, the evergreen state. So every time I drive, I always mesmerized on how green is the state I live in. I love the beauty. I love the serenity.

12. The fact that I'm only 40 years old. That means I still have good 25 years to work in the industry I love (bank and financial world), and possibly 40-50 more years to live the life I want. With people I choose and I love.

13. The struggles and challenges I face. It'll make me stronger and more resilient.

14. The safety of our world. I live in a very safe place, where I can sleep soundly at night and not worry about anything.

15. Green tea. Whenever I can sip a hot green tea, I count it a good day. Smooth and relaxing.

Find what's right in your life. Journal it. List every single thing. You'll soon realized that you are blessed beyond your imagination. That you may not have everything you want, but you have everything you need.

And that's what life is all about. Is to give thanks to every single opportunities. To want to have a happier life, one must always strive to be positive, and to find what's right. Practice this skill everyday, grain it into your daily habits, and eventually you'll have a greater happier life.

If You're Speaking, You're Not Listening

I received a very valuable advice today.

"If you're speaking, you're not listening."

That is so true. And that is so deep.

We live in a world where talking and giving opinion are a must-have skill to survive in this world. We tweet, post, and loudly voice out our truths. The longer we talk, the more we feel important. The world is so loud and noisy, that we forget to give people chance to voice out their feelings too.

So now I learn to be more quiet. To hush up. To just listen. To observe, watch, and listen. The expert says, the less we talk, the more we are in control in the conversation. He who speak more, lose the flow of the conversation.

Let's use the Pareto law. Instead of incessant talk, let's do more listening. 80% listening, 20% talking. The more we listen, the more we understand the context. The more we understand, the more we can relate to the situation. The more knowledge we gain. The more info we absorbed. And information aka knowledge is power. It's the 21st century version of power. Not money, not resources, but knowledge. And the only way we gain knowledge is by reading, listening, and absorbing the info.

So I want to be better at this thing.

80% listening, 20% talking.
80% reading, 20% writing.
80% observing, 20% in action.
80% learning, 20% teaching.
80% watching, 20% showing.

I want to listen, so I can talk better. If I just talk talk talk endlessly, what's the point? I'll lose my audience's interest and I learn nothing. I gain nothing. So it is for my own benefit if I listen more.

I'm listening. And I'm not speaking.

A Peaceful Life

I'm at the point of my life where I just want to live in a peaceful world.

Now don't get me wrong, there's no physical war in my time at the present (except the tension between trade war or the threat of North Korea or Russian missiles), but simply put, this is the most peaceful time the world has had, compared to different times of the past.

But I still want to attain peace in my own world. In my living space.

I no longer tolerate toxic people, abusive people, judgmental people to control my behavior. If they love me, they will accept me for who I am, for all of me. All the good and all the bad of me. It's not that I don't want to change to be better. But I admit I'm just a human, with my own set of strengths and weaknesses. Nobody is perfect.

But one thing for sure, I won't sacrifice my integrity. My character.  There are values and moral ethic that I hold high, and I won't compromise those. Integrity is strongly rooted deep in my life, and I will not trade them for any other fake winnings, like money or "happiness". So many of us desperately want to be "happy", that we throw away our code of conduct, and forget to do the right thing. Not me.

Peaceful is being content. Even being happy means being content. And although life has evolved into new beginnings that I've never imagined before, I must say that I am truly content with where my life has leading me now. I did work hard and I will continue to work hard to accomplish my dreams, but I also now am flexible with this thing called life.

A peaceful life is not a life without conflict. But rather, a life of controlling one's perception of how a conflict need to be resolved. The easiest thing to do is sometimes to just keep fighting until the end, so now I learn that letting go is one of the hardest thing to do actually! And letting go is supposed to be the easiest thing to do, and sometimes is the only right thing to do. So in order to maintain my peace, I'm learning to let go. Let go of the past. Let go of the dream. Let go and just let life evolve naturally.

I'm at peace where I also organized at my life, knows my priorities are, de-clutter, everything in it's own place. Yep, it's OCD. But that's my way to find peace in this chaotic world. It's not even the matter of control. I know there are only 1 or 2 thing I can control versus a million things that I have no control about. But peace is also knowing when to stop working on dead projects. Knowing when to to walk away from the unfixable chaos. Peace is letting people live their own lives, without our interference. Accepting reality and moving on.

The more I can accept the reality, the more peaceful I am. And it is a skill that I continue to learn.

Peace is finding my own balance without dependency to other people's acceptance on us. If they accept me, great! If not, that's fine too. I'll be peaceful either way. It's wisdom to be able to thinking at this level.

May you always find your peace and living a peaceful life, for the rest of your days.