Perspective

I don't have everything I want. But I have everything I need.

To be able to breathe with my own lungs, it's a blessing.

I have 2 feet to take me to anywhere I want to go.

I have 2 eyes to help me see the beauty of this world.

I have met kind people who care and have big heart.

To be able to laugh when life is not perfect, it's a freeing thoughts.

I don't know everything, but I know how to use things according to it's purpose.

Perspective of life is everything.

Every day is a practice of being better. Thinking better, feeling better, living better.

If you be able to be happy in your present situation, whatever it is, you'll be happy when things get better.

And when things get worse, you'll be able to endure the trial because you are a human who possess the natural ability to survive.

I am thankful for all the experience I had, good and bad.

Life is a combination of everything : the laughter, the cry, the anger, the peace, the joy, the worry, the fear, the ambition, the panic, and the giggles.

When life start to drag us down, look at your hands. Still ten fingers? There are others who has less. I am a daughter of a man who loss his three fingers on his right hand. And he lived. And he died in peace.

Sometimes life evolved into a reality which we do not want. But as long we tried our best and give it all, it is okay. Let go the burden of the past because it's too heavy to carry everything into the present. Let it go.

When anxiety attacks, breathe and count to ten.

Find peace in doing little things. Putting things in order helps calms the mind.

I am happy I live today. If I'm not happy, I'll eat ice cream.

And when my life is over, I'll be happy too. Because that means I'm done.

Just Click "DELETE".

If you can read this, chances are you have social media in your life. And when you have social media, you will at one point post something, either a photo, a statement, a question, or a thought to the world wide web.

And chances are, there are someone who will be snarky and trying to be "smart" by giving an unwelcome sarcastic and rude comments.

And then we reply their comments. Trying to explain that they're missing the point. And they reply back. And the empty battle of words goes on and on and on. And everyone felt more rage, offended, and before we know it a friendship is broken. Everyone feel devastated. Added stress to life.

So here's an idea.

Instead of going thru all those unnecessary work, why don't we just do this one simple thing?

Just click "DELETE".

This way you avoid confrontation. You avoid wasting your time trying to win a stupid battle. Remember what Dale Carnegie had said in his book "How to Win Friends & Influence People"? Avoid confrontation at all cost. Never offend someone's ego.

I never have those "haters" reply back to the comments that I've deleted. They're not going to check back to the comments if there's nothing to reply to.

And guess what? You just get all your time back! No more typing back & forth. You can do laundry now! Or go jogging! Or whatever you want to do! Instead of simmering in boiled anger of reading those hateful words over again and again. Nope! No more time for that!

You want a simpler life? A happier life? Then just use that "DELETE" button. Problem solved!

The Other Side

This quote is so true.

Today my family and I visited the Leverich Park, in beautiful Vancouver, Washington. It was supposed to be the day for Joana to learn how to skate, and for Angie to play with her scooter. Grant did such a great job teaching Joni some tips and tricks!

After that, we headed to the playground. The girls did monkey bars, chain climbing, and other activities. Grant occasionally said,"I did this when I was your age, Peggy." Now mind you, I am not a teenager with a nimble body. I'm a 40 year old, almost 41, that has no business with any physical activities whatsoever since I don't exercise. Yeah yeah yeah, I know exercise is healthy for me, but let's face it. With 40 hours (and more) at work, and a house to take care of after that (like bills, laundry, and cooking - although not full force yet since Grant did a great job doing his shares), I have no interest nor energy to exercise, lol.

I was timid.

I tried at first. Climbing the first chain or two. And then I stopped. I thought I will never be able to do it. Let's get back to reality. This is my fourth decade in this world, and I'm not as active as these girls!

So I stopped. I go back to the bench when Grant sat. And watched the girls.

And then a crazy idea slip to my head.

"What if I can do it?". "Why don't I try it again?"

So I told Grant that I'm going to try to do it. Just to see what happen next.

I ran to the chain climbing area and start climbing. And then I'm stuck! At one moment I thought I was just going to give up. But Joni, Angie, and Grant keep pushing me (not literally, just verbally, lol). And Grant did helped me pointing out some directions and even fixing my foot position! Their ongoing support did motivate me. I don't know how many times I shouted,"Oh my God!" Hahaha!

In the end, I did completed the challenge that I created for myself, lol. Good thing Joni catch the moment in this video. It feels so good when my feet touch the ground again! I am glad I didn't quit. I'm glad I get to say : I completed it!

I just proved to myself that I have :
- determination
- grit
- willpower
- tenacity
- family who love me and cheer for me!

Thank you Grant, Joni, and Angie for being there for me. It is just a small thing, but it means the world for me. It is kinda of big deal!! I never done this before and I just did it! Wow!

Like what I said in this video (a different one), if you want something different and exciting in your life, try to dare yourself! Do something new that you've never done before, and complete it! You might surprise yourself! :)

Timeline

Timeline is a graphic representation of the passage of time as a line.

I like this timeline concept. It reminds me that life is short and I better start doing and moving!!

When I used to live with my parents, I put it in a piece of paper and draw a line. Then, I put the years, for example : 1995, 1996, 1997, and so on. You get the idea. Below each year, I put 3 sub-line : my age, my dad's age, my mom's age. And as I see my "future" and my parents's "future" age, I start questioning if I have enough time to accomplish anything I want, and will that happen while my parents still alive. It got me thinking. And start doing things.

Then, I committed to finish my bachelor degree in exactly 4 years. I want to finish in 2001, so this will give enough time for me to start working and build my career, and my new life! Indonesian culture back in the day is different than in USA now. (I was Indonesian back then, now I'm a US citizen). Also, I don't know Indonesian culture now as I don't live there anymore. Back in the day, children don't move out from their parents's house when they turn 18, instead they will leave their parents's house when they get married. So I had the luxury to build up my initial banking career while still living with my parents before I get married.

Fast forward to 2014. By now my dad already passed away. RIP Pap. In this year I live with my ex-husband and my mom. So I did the same thing. The only difference is instead of putting in a piece of paper, I put it in excel sheet. I do 3 age columns : my age, his age, my mom's age. I also put the year. So it looks like this:

Year   My age   His age   M's age
2014    36            41         58
2015    37            42         59
2016    38            43         60

And so on. And I put our financial goals next to those numbers. Like how much savings we should have by then, how much retirement funds we should have at certain age, etc. This also reminds me of their mortality. As the youngest of the family, sometimes I feel worry and concern because they're not getting any younger, and I just don't want to face the day when they're going to pass away from this world! Ugh, unbearable!

Fast forward to today, 2019.

It's a new family now. It's me, my fiancee, and his 2 daughters. New family, new life, new priorities. And guess what? I just did the timeline again!! This time the purpose is to estimate how old the girls will be correlated to our age. And start planning ahead for their future : schools, activities, etc. This also is a poignant reminder that me and my fiancee are not getting any younger. That means the focus on building the future together is important : both emotionally and financially.

I guess I should indeed get married with him in March 2020. We'll see.

This timeline really helps to guide us to our tomorrows. I don't want to be like in 2023, and what have we done? Nothing? No way! We should continue focus on finishing our short term goals, while continue planting the seed to meet our medium goals, and long term goals.

Try it. Try to put your own timeline together. See what you want to accomplish in the next 3, 5, 8, and even 10 years. What you want to be done. Where you want to be. Although I know life will always throw us a curve ball, we should remember what's truly important and that way not missing the big picture.

Timeline reminds us that time is limited. It's always limited. Time itself is infinite, but our time is not. One day our own days will be ended. So while we still alive, be happy, be peaceful, strive for success, and love each other.  Especially at each other. Our timeline and their timeline might one day not be aligned anymore. And you'll be glad that once upon a time ago you had your happy moments together.

Don't Keep Patching The Holes

Once upon a time there was a fisherman that has a sinking boat. He kept patching the new holes day after day, that somehow continue to happen in his boat. He is patching one hole after another. He can't focus fishing because these holes are making his boat sinking deeper and deeper.

His friend see this, and simply ask,"Why don't you just replace your boat with a new one? Instead of keep patching the holes, isn't it easier to just let go of your old boat and get a replacement with no holes?"

Sometimes we are like that fisherman.

We kept patching crises after crises that keep popping in our lives. Sometimes what we need is a brand new plan that is totally different that our current life right now. Perhaps we need to examine our life in a fresher perspective.

Instead of kept forgetting where we put our phones, maybe we should designate a regular place for it. Same place, every time. So this way we can find our phones faster. No more wasting time. It's just silly to waste 20 minutes trying to find your phone because it's not in it's regular place.

Routines and habits are good. The good ones though. The bad ones, we need to toss them away. There's no place for "junk foods" for our minds : like meaningless TV show and trashy gossip articles. Instead, let's replace those with educational documentaries about new learning, skills, arts, and cultures. And comedies! Now that is ok! And let's read more inspirational stories from real people, how they overcome their struggles, how they rise to the occasion.

Sometimes we're too consumed with today. And forgot to plan for tomorrow. And we kept repeating the whole cycle all over again. Today become yesterday. Tomorrow become today. And we continue dealing with today, that we have no time whatsoever to plan ahead for tomorrow. We letting today dictate our actions, instead of directing our energies to create our tomorrow. By the way, tomorrow always come, so might as well plan ahead because it's coming no matter what.

Ok, so sometimes the future is different that what we had planned. It's ok. But most of the time, we can still control the outcome. Have a goal, discipline, and repeat small repetitive habits that building our lives to be better. We eventually shaping our tomorrow to what we desired. Closer to our ideals.

My point is, don't keep dealing with today's crises. Yes, it's urgent. But invest some of your time to plan for tomorrow, the next day, and beyond. Have a long term goal (10 years+), medium term (5 - 10 years), and short term goal (less than 5 years). Don't let fate or destiny or "going with the flow" drift your days.

Your life is like a boat in the sea. You need to be able to grab the steering wheel and start directing to the destination you'd like to end up. Don't just drift. Don't just patching the holes. Sometimes it's okay to let go the old boat and get a new boat with no holes. Easier that way.

Just In Case This Happens To You

In an ideal world, we marry only one person and live happily ever after. Till death do us part.

But since when life is perfect?

Unfortunately, some of us might have faced betrayals from our spouses, no matter our gender is. Adultery is not exclusively done by men to their wives. It's also done by women to their husbands.

So just in case this ever happen to you, here's some tips to help you ease the pain:

1. Read this article. It is titled Strong Woman, but if you're a man, you can replace "her" with "him".

2. Know that it's not you. It's them. It is not your fault. His/her cheating is their flaws, not yours. You didn't do it. You were loyal and faithful. So don't get lured with the "not enough" mentality that the other party tried to pin their wrongdoing on you. Nope! It's not your fault, it's theirs. They're the ones that don't know the meaning of "integrity".

3. His mistress / her new man is not any better than you are. Definitely not!

4. The faster you can leave him/her, the better. Why stay with a cheater? Once a cheater, always a cheater. There's 7 billions people in the world. Surely there's one that understand what's the meaning of love and loyalty? Better than this cheater.

5. Focus on you. Now it's the time to focus on your own goals. Protect your assets. Get a good lawyer. And do it fast. Do it now. No more turning back.

6. I know that we're tempted to change ourselves to not be ourselves. "Maybe if I less talking." "Maybe if I cook better." "Maybe if I work harder." No way! Our spouse supposed to accept us for who we are : either loud or calm. They know our personality way before they decided to marry us. So why we have to change? If you're a type A, you will always be a type A. I'm okay if we want to be better and shred bad habits, but personality, who we are, never change. And if he/she loves us truly, they will like us the way we are, so we don't have to be someone we're not.

7. Once you close this chapter, put this behind you. Keep walking forward and do not look back. Take the lesson, say thank you for the experience, and move. No more regrets. Remember, it's not your fault!!! It is his/her fault. So STOP blaming yourself! Go make sandwich! Do laundry! Whatever it is, continue moving forward. Your future is so much brighter without this backstabber.

8. You will find happiness again. You will regain your strength. You will know yourself more. If you're a woman, put on a make up and go out again. Get girlfriends together and go shopping. No need to spend money if you don't have, just window shopping alone is fun. If you a guy, go get some beers with your guy friends.

9. Happy people attract happy people. Be genuine. Be truly happy and accept your lot in life. The faster you're in the acceptance level, the faster you'll be in happy valley again. Count your blessings, starting from your health. Smile. Watch lots of comedies. Eventually you'll be surrounded with happy people who care about you and wants the best for you. These are the people worth having for.

10. If you have family, focus on your children. They need your support more than ever. Focus on rebuilding your life together without the cheating leaving spouse anymore. And I surely hope that the custody battle is not prolonged. I know how stressful this can be. Take it one day at a time.

11. Don't ever ever ever think to "get back together again". Forgiveness is noble, but like point #7 above mentioned, take the lesson. Never forget. Yes, let's forgive so we can move on and not carrying this heavy baggage, but don't daydream to get back together. Do you want to be a spare tire again? Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. Don't lower your quality to be with someone who did not appreciate you. Trust is earned. And once it's broken, it's done.

12. Cry as much as you want. It's okay to cry. It's not a weakness. It's a release. Eat ice cream after that. Dark chocolate, strawberry, or pistachio. Whatever you want.

I hope this never happens to you. But just in case it happens, I'm here for you.

Nature Time

Grant, Joni, Angie, and I spent a lovely afternoon with nature! We went to Cougar Creek, a hidden gem in Vancouver, Washington, USA.

First, walk in the forest. Exploring trails and pathways. Then, we arrived at the creek. I can hear the fresh water flowing over the rocks. The water glistened when the sun hit it. So beautiful!

The girls were having fun. Right away they took off their shoes and socks. Barefoot, they play in the pond. Throwing rocks. Playing with the sand.

I have a lot of fun too! Thinking to myself,"Hm, this is such a great spot to make my daily video!" So I pulled my camera out and start recording. And here's the video!

We were not alone.

There were other companions: Daniel and Isaiah, 2 boys about Joni's age. They are cousins. They have 2 dogs with them: Lucy and Ruby. Daniel and Isaiah were making a rock bridge! How cool is that!

After a while, the four of us sat down in the sand and enjoy some mango with Tajin seasoning. Yum!!! The feeling is priceless. Breeze all over your hair, the sounds of bird singing, the soft sound of the river collides with big and small rocks. Nature is so wonderful!

Afterwards, we packed our bags and hitting the next spot. While we're walking, we passed a group of family who offered free popsicles!! It was to celebrate someone's birthday! Yay! Thank you so much for these free dessert!

Then, we found the next spot in the forest. A picnic table was ready, complete with the benches. We took out the lunch that Grant had prepared: turkey sandwich! Angie is making lemonade. Sitting in the middle of tall grees and these beautiful luscious greeneries, with people you love (and love you back), it feels peaceful. Life is good!

After lunch, we walked some more. So this is hiking. Grant found some spots here and there. And shared some history behind it. Such a tour guide! He grew up here, so he knew these areas well, just like the back of his hands.

I had the luxury to spend time with nature today. And with my new family. I love it! What a gorgeous day!!!

Don't Quit

When things go wrong,

As they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging,

Seems all uphill,

When the funds are low,

And the debts are high,

And you want to smile,

But you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you,

Down a bit,

Rest if you must,

But don't you quit.

Success is failure turn inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt.

And you never can tell,

How close you are.

It maybe near when it seems a far.

So stick to the fight,

When you're hardest hit,

It's when things go wrong,

That you must not quit.

Think, Not Memorize

We all given a brain to think, not memorize.

In this video, I share what David Schwartz outlined in his book,"The Magic of Thinking Big", on page 46. The ability to think is more valuable than the ability to memorize facts. We should use our brain to think, to ponder, to reflect, not trying to remembering facts that can easily be found in books, internet, and other resources.

Albert Einstein once being asked,"How many feet in a mile?". He simply answered,"I don't know. Why would I need to fill my brain with facts that can easily be found in 2 minutes in encyclopedia?".

Einstein teach us a very valuable lesson. It's more important to use our brain to think rather than to use it as fact storage. 

That's what Google, Alexa, and Siri are for.

Think of an idea. Of a plan. Of implementation. Strategic thinking.

Knowing difficult jargon in scientific world doesn't make one smarter. What make a person smart is if the person know the purpose of things, and not only knowing, but apply it in real life practices. Having a smartphone or smartwatch doesn't make someone smart. But using the smartphone and smartwatch to improve our quality of life is a smart move.

How to think is more important than how many intellect we have. Thinking outside the box, be resourceful and creative, is much better skills to have rather than have an IQ over 125.

Let's use our brain to develop ideas, brainstorming, think of a better way, more efficient and effective, find new ways to make our lives better.

Am I using my mental capacity to create history? Or am I using it to record history that have already been made by someone else?

A Night To Remember

So.. it was a random evening. June 25, 2019. So random, right?

I looked at my watch. It was slightly after 8.30 pm. We (Grant, Angie, and I) are picking up Joni from her dance class. Joni is a slender 11 year old girl with such a nimble body! Love to see her making those dance moves!

An hour before, while waiting for Joni, the three of us played soccer. Angie, the strongest 8 year old girl I've ever known, always blocking me when I tried to score a goal! She's getting better and better being a goalie!

Back to slightly after 8.30 pm now.

The four of us walked out from the dance school, and to Grant's car. Angie was whispering something in Grant's ear. I casually looked at her in the backseat, and Angie said,"I think Peggy is onto us." I have no idea what she was talking about.

I thought we were going home.

But instead he turned the car to Wintler Park. I was wondering in my heart,"Why we're here?". But then I guess Grant was going to show me that there are beaches in Vancouver, Washington. Not all beaches are in Oregon. Okay, then. 14 years living in Vancouver and I had no idea there is a beach in Vancouver, near Highway 14, hahaha!

After parking, Grant and Angie walked ahead of us to the sandy beach. Joni and I walked side by side, and she was telling me a story about a conversation with her friend, Cayden. Something about how Cayden will propose his girl to become his wife. I listened to her attentively and had no idea there's a hidden meaning behind the story. I always like to listened to Joni's stories anyway.

Finally Joni and I caught up with Grant and Angie. Grant said,"Ok girls, get your phone out and take our pictures." I should have been suspicious at this moment. Grant? Picture? Haha. That supposed to be me saying that, LOL! Everyone and their grandmas now that I love taking pictures, anytime, anywhere! But I was too excited to spend some times in a new area that I've never visited before, so I pull out my camera and give it to Joni, so she can take our photos!

Alright. It's photo shoot time. Yay! Grant was on my right, hug my shoulder with his left arm, and I was trying being fabulous. Haha! You know, the wind on the beach blowing your hair away, hold your stomach so it looks flat, flashing a happy smile to the camera, giving it your best! Well, I do feel happy anyway! It's after work, after dinner, and just relax now!

Little did I know... like 10 seconds later, Grant presented me a little black box, opened with a beautiful ring in it! OMG! I think I was in shock or stunned or something like that, because suddenly my brain stopped working. I was like,"Really? Right now? Not next year?"

Before I could realize what was going on, he went down on one knee, and proposed me.

"Peggy Sanders, will you marry me?"

And he said more things that I don't remember exactly words for words, but I don't forget the feeling. For a fleeting moment, I tried to digest what's happening right now. But then I remember that he asked me a question.

So I said,"Yes."

Good thing Joni recorded some of these moments in this video, so we have at least the 48 seconds of what was happening in Wintler beach that night. Joni was also watching what was happening and don't want to miss out anything, so sometimes she put the camera away (and that's why you only see feet for some seconds there, hahahaha!). Angie was a sweetie too. The girls are so supportive! Love them!

What also had made me so touched, is that the ring itself is actually Grant's mom's ring! OMG, thank you Kim!!! It made it ten times more precious rather than a store's ring. Because I feel they all accepting and welcoming me into their family.

So now suddenly I have a new family? Oh wow. I am so humbled with their love and appreciation. I can't forget Jun 25th, 2019. It was a night to remember. It was a perfect proposal for me. So unexpected.  Oh by the way, Grant and the girls have been planning this for.... 3 weeks! The girls were almost cracked holding secrets that long! Hahahaha, so funny!

I know he was going to propose to me at some day in the future. I just never thought that day was yesterday. At about 8.45 pm.

After that, we went to Burgerville and get some milkshakes, to celebrate this life-changing moment. How sweet is that? Literally sweet! ♥

And they all live happily ever after. The End.

How To Listen To Your Inner Voice

The world is noisy.

TV. Movies. Netflix. Facebook. Instagram. And all other social media out there. And oh, let's not forget, 7 billion people in the world.

Yeah, it's a noisy world.

So... how can we able to listen to our own inner voice? Where we are constantly bombarded with everything in life? Especially if you are parents! Oh, I can't imagine!

Here's some tips I received from a wise man when I had a chance to sit down and listen to the wisdom of the day:

1. Be still and listen.
You can't listen to news and to yourself at the same time. Have a quiet moment. Go outside. Look at nature. Be in the nature. Close your eyes and quiet your mind.

2. Watch.
Observe. Use your 2 eyes. Watch what is happening. Then think. Have a clarity of mind. And heart.

3. Write down.
So you don't forget it. Sometimes good idea come just out of nowhere. And it'll fleet if it's not caught.

Always listen to your gut feeling. When somethings seems wrong, it sometimes actually is. Trust your instinct. We, human being, are equipped with the natural instinct to survive. To fight or flight.

Trust your judgment. And you're unsure on what to do, seek counsel from wise people, not fools. Not inexperience people with opinion, you don't need those. You need better people that had already walk the talk, already proof that they once upon a time ago was in your position too, and be able to find a solution to the problem.

Be smart. Be wise. Be calm.

Planning

In this video, I talked about the benefit of planning. 

Brian Tracy once said,"Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution." That wisdom is so true. Think about it. You don't have to think about it anymore, you can just do your plan.

Of course not everything you plan will become fruitful. But if you don't plan anything at all, you're not going to succeed. Just like everything in life, you have to have a strategy. Have a plan. Back up plan if needed. Plan B. Life is always about how you handle plan B anyway.

Nobody going to get in Uber and say to the driver : Just take me wherever you want to go. Haha, I think not! When you're using Uber, you're going to put your destination in the app, and the Uber driver will take you there.

Same thing with life. To get to where you want in life, you have to have a clear goal, then a step-by-step plan on how to get there. Plan ahead. Plan gives you clarity. Plan gives you a structure on how to get things done. And in the end of the day, result is what matter.

Run the day, don't let the day run you. Don't just drift in life and let yourself being pulled in this direction or that direction. Instead, build your future. Know what you want, where to go, and how to get there. When there's a will there's a way. Have an open mind. Be creative and efficient with your time.

Everybody has the same 24 hours in a day:
8 hours to sleep.
8 hours to work/business/school.
8 hours to run errands/rest & relax/reconnect with family & friends/entertainment & decrease stress.

So be effective with your time. One way to achieve this, is to plan your minutes. Have a goal, have a clear schedule, so this way you can say yes to opportunities that bring you closer to your goals, and say no to things that just going to distract you and are wasteful.

Planning is how you get the most benefit of your time. You will accomplish much more by planning.

Plan. Strategize. Get it done.

Make the World a Better Place

We all been given so much. A life. Family. Health. The Internet! :)

So let's do our part to make the world a better place. Our job is to help each other, lift up one another, influence others to be better than yesterday.

Here are some things we all can easily do to make a world a better place. This is the people factor.

1. Use people's names.
When you meet someone new, say their names at least 3 times in a conversation. Names are the sweetest sound in their ear, so learn to use them. It is a sign of respect. You'll attract people faster this way.

2. Look at the person speaking to you.
Make the eye contact. When someone speaking to you, it's rude to not facing them. Learn this manners and you'll gain respect from the person talking to you.

3. Appreciate.
Always bestow your appreciation, no matter how small they are. If someone make breakfast to you, say thank you. If someone throw compliment your way, say thank you. Always be humble and appreciate everyone who help you along the way.

4. Manners matters.
Please and thank you. No matter what century you live in, please and thank you are the sign you are civilized and educated people. Learn table manners. Be mindful of other's people space. Be courteous. If you saw elderly, pregnant ladies, or disabled people, give up your seat. Manners will carry you far wherever and whenever you are.

Times might change. The way we pay our bills might be different than the last decade. But these basic people skills are still valid until today, and whatever year in the future later. Why? Because people don't change. People still people. A 7 year old last century and a 7 year old next century will still be the same. So the more you can increase your EQ and people skill, the better influence you'll impact the world.

And isn't that what we want? To live in a better place for you and people you love?

We can do this when we all work together and do our part! :)

The Happiness Workout

Just like everything in life, you have to work for it.


Want to be healthy? Exercise and eat right.
Want to be rich? Save, invest, and live below your means.
Want to be happy? Do the happiness workout!


In this video, I listed 3 things:
a. Gratitude.
b. Find what's right.
c. Take your meds!


In this article, I list 3 times more!


Happiness doesn't just happen by itself. It's a result of continous positive thinking, refusing to be in a negative mental state, discipline on being emotionally well, and silver-lining habits.


Here are some mental exercise that can keep your happiness in a healthy level:


1. Don't list the problems, they are magnified 10x when you write it down.


2. Instead, write 3 things you grateful for. Find something good. The ability to see, to work with your hands, 100% able body to live without oxygen tank. That's a starter. Do this every morning.


3. Anytime negative thought creep in, distract yourself with action. Household chores. Cleaning. Meal planning. Anything productive.


4. Help other people. It'll give you a sense of fulfillment.


5. Always focus on your strength. Focus on the positive. Don't let your mind & emotions out of control.


6. Read uplifting blogs, like: peggysanders.blogspot.com.


7. Listen to inspiring podcast in YouTube. Or TedTalk.


8. Be creative of your situation. Use what you have. Budget. Have a plan to get out of debt. Control your expenses. Live frugal. Find better cheaper deal on living expenses. Say no to wants, just needs, know the difference.


9. Walk with me. I'm in this journey too. Let's be each other's support system!


Good job completing the happiness workout!

Buah Simalakama

Bagai makan buah simalakama. Dimakan bapak mati, nggak dimakan ibu mati. Artinya serba salah. Mau ke kiri salah, ke kanan salah, maju salah, mundur salah.

Rasanya, aku sudah makan buah simalakama itu.

Aku terjebak dalam berbagai pilihan hidup yang membuat otak pusing tujuh keliling. Aku terus menerus menghadapi pilihan2 hidup yang sulit. Bukan karena aku yang mau, tapi keadaan yang membuatnya sulit.

Coba aku tanya kamu ya.

Kalo kamu disuruh pilih ibumu atau suamimu, mana yang kamu pilih? Kamu cuma bisa pilih satu. Bahkan ditambah lagi dengan pilihan ketiga, yaitu dirimu sendiri. Kalo disuruh milih siapa yang harus diselamatkan: ibumu, suamimu, atau kamu. Mana yang kamu pilih?

Nah, sekarang ibumu sudah tiada. Suamimu sudah pergi untuk selamanya. Jadi mestinya beres kan?

Lah, kenapa sekarang masih mikir2 lagi ke masa lampau?

Kalo kamu sudah menghadapi masa2 sulit itu, dan masih hidup, berarti selanjutnya hidupmu harusnya lebih gampang. Gak usah mumet2 lagi.

Sekarang kamu tinggal pilih: mau makan ayam atau sapi? Mau coklat atau stroberi? Mau ngapain ya sekarang? Mau main game atau ngeblog? Enak kan kalo cuma milih hal2 gampang kayak gini.

Mulai sekarang aku berjanji untuk nggak mikir hal2 di masa lampau lagi. Yang lalu biarlah berlalu. Mari buat masalah baru, hihihihi. :)

Tapi serius deh, aku sudah nggak bisa mikir hal2 yang sudah jadi sejarah. Aku mengakui bahwa aku tidak punya jawaban untuk "puzzle" ini. Unfinished business. Ya udah biarin aja nggak selesai. Biarin aja "to be continued". Cepat atau lambat, nanti toh lama2 masalahnya akan beres. Entah apa masalahnya yang tutup buku, atau akunya yang cabut dari dunia ini. Kalo aku ciao dari hidup ini akhirnya, ya udah beres dong, nggak ada masalah lagi.

Selama orang hidup, pasti ada naik turun. Hidup itu nggak mungkin naik terus atau turun terus. Dari zaman Adam dan Hawa, sampe zaman Tuhan Yesus, sampe zaman 2019 kayak gini, sampe zaman tujuh turunan dari sekarang, hidup PASTI akan naik turun.

Makanya mendingan pegang tangan Tuhan Yesus aza deh. Kalo pegang tangan Doi, pasti semuanya selamat. Karena dunia ini kan milikNya. Semua manusia Tuhan udah ada rencananya masing2. Udah ada nasibnya sendiri2. Semuanya sudah diselamatkan sama Tuhan Yesus, jadi sekarang kita tinggal hidup aza deh. Sampai nanti kita akhirnya dipanggil Tuhan.

Dan Lok's 7 Signs You're Going To Be Successful

1. Successful people have great habits.

• Habits determine 95% of a person's behavior.
• Future = quality of the habits that you form.
• Very best people have best habits.
• Get up in the morning, meditate, reading, exercising regularly

2. Successful people are incredibly driven.

• You pushing yourself to get results.
• It's your personal drive that keep you going when things get tough.
• Your personal drive able to get you bounce back from setback.

3. Successful people are confident in their abilities.

• Two biggest enemies of success: self doubt & fear of the unknown.
• Confidence = believing in yourself.
• Confidence comes from competence. 
• Confidence is not arrogance. No one is above you. Willing to bet on yourself?
• How often you invest in yourself?

4. Successful people communicate clearly.

• Communication skills: writing, conducting meeting, speaking one on one, speaking to large group of people.
• Learn from mentors.
• How to use words to influence somebody
• Successful people = the ability to influence, persuade, and inspire other people.

5. Successful people have a growth mindset.

• Read 1-3 hours a day.
• Constantly learning all the time, doesn't have to be about reading.
• Getting coaching from great people.
• Put up journal & taking notes.
• The more you know the more you realize you don't know.

6a. Successful people embrace failures.

• Ridiculously positive about the future.
• Positive expectations about future.
• Rejected a thousand times, over & over again.
• Most successful people = most fail than anybody else.
• Difference: lack of will.
• "Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." ~ Winston Churchill.
• Most successful sales people = experience rejections on day to day basis MORE than anybody else.

6b. Successful people have high EQ.

• Surround themselves with smart people.
• High degree of emotional intelligence.
• EQ eats IQ for breakfast.
• EQ can be developed, learned, and refined.
• They don't crack under pressure. Stay calm. Know how to deal with anxiety.

7. Successful people are self aware

• They know what they're good at. Know strength & weaknesses.
• Refuse to feel inadequate.

Combine all these signs and skills. Signs are just potential. How to turn your potential into profit.

Dan Lok is really my virtual shifu. Thank you, Dan!!!

Think Global, Act Local

Randy Zak from the Girl Talk novel once said,"Think Global, Act Local". That means, you want to think big, but start do from where you are. Start small. And get better and better. Bigger and bigger. But you gotta start somewhere.

Think Global Act Local also means that you want to make the world a better place to live, by start taking action in your own communities and cities. Do your part. Recycle. Throw away trash into the right bins. Save environment!

You can apply the same principle into the areas of your life. If you want to make a global impact, then start where you are right now. Do small meaningful things. Keep making progress. You spread out your influence to the people around you, and they will spread out their influence among their circle too, and so on and so on. Before you know it, you make a ripple in the pond. That's how you make the world a better place! One person at a time, one life at a time.

What can you do today to make the world a better place?
What part do you play?
What is the one good habit that you can start planting now?

Think Global, Act Local.

Accomplishing More Things

G: You gotta stop and smell the roses. Enjoy life.
Me: Ya, but smell it fast. You still have tons of things to do!
G: (Laugh out loud).
Me: Well, you get your roses right? Now get up and move!

That piece of conversation was replayed in my head this morning.

Grant and I was talking about how we can accomplish more things. I shared with him some of the points below and he agreed. Especially on point number 1.

Today it seems that there are more and more responsibilities piling on our shoulders. So the key is not to do more things first (well, eventually you will want to do more things), but first we need to do our routine faster so we can get more time. Once we master to things A in a shorter time, then we have time to do things B. And C, and so on.

So how we can accomplish more things? Here's some strategy:

1. Walk 25% faster.
Not only you burn more calories this way, but you also get to your destination faster. Life is how to get from point A to point B, right? So if you can get to point B quicker, then there you go, you'll have more time! And what to do with more time? Anything you want to do! Relax, games, family time, or do more business! Whatever you like! Walking faster could lead to living longer too. Forget gym membership.

2. Learn quick.
If you are in a situation where you need to learn, then learn quick. It will takes time, yes, it's okay, but pick up your paces. Don't linger. Study, focus, concentrate, practice, and do it. Learning by doing is the best. You'll get the point faster. And you get to live it too. Learn quick! Repeat it again and again.

3. Adjust, adapt.
The key to life survival is to adjust and adapt with your surrounding. Life somehow will always change, no matter what. So, adjust, adapt, thrive! Every day is a new day. I mean look at the date. The date is ALWAYS changing, right? Today is May 27, 2019. There will never be a date like this anymore in the future. We only get one chance to make it right on THIS date. So, adjust & adapt to the new challenges of the day.

4. Know how to read people.
Odd enough, there are some aspect in life that will never change. I know people never change. What I meant is people in general is people. People a century ago and people a century later, will still be the same. They both still breathe oxygen. They both still have emotions. So, if you can understand people, you just unlock the secret of survival for the future. Know how to read people, and you'll be fine. Use "Please and thank you". Integrity. Find the same difference between the past, the present, and you'll be okay in the future. Understand what makes the world go round. People is your ally. With the right people in your life, you get to accomplish more things. Teamwork is dream work. A championship is not won by 1 person, but by a team of united people.

5. Take what you can take.
Always take what's on the table. Always grab the silver lining. That's how you get more things. Don't disregard your "bonus". Appreciate what is given to you, whether you like or not. You never know when you're going to need it. Whether it's experiences, wisdom, or anything extra that comes toward your way, take it.

To wrap it up, to accomplish more things, you need to learn to do things faster. Effective and efficient. I guess that's why back in the day, they call me Peggy the Speedy Gonzales. Fast is my middle name! :)

How to Be Better

1. Stop the blame game.
From now on, stop the blame game. Don't blame anybody anymore. Including yourself. It doesn't matter whose fault it was. What matter more is how to be your better self. Instead of wondering things that don't matter anymore, focus on things that you can change, that you have control over. No more blaming!

2. Learn the lesson.
It's important to live in the present. It's great to moving forward. But.... if you want to improve yourself, you have to learn the lesson of the past. It was history, yes, but don't just discard everything. Learn how to do things the right way now. Or different way this time. Otherwise, history will repeat itself. If it's a good history, great! What if it's not? Do you want to repeat the same mistake again? Either way, good or bad history, learn the lesson. Learn what made you successful, learn what made you fall. You can only learn from the past (and the present). You can't learn from the future because the future is not here yet.

3. Learn from better people.
One thing that will catapult you to the next level, is when you have the ability to learn from better peer or mentor. And of other successful people. There's thousands of them! Copy what make them greater. They already made the initial mistakes. They had the failure. And they learn to be better. So why repeat the same mistake? It's easier to apply a proven success tips rather than trial & error it yourself. Listen to your mentor. And do it, not just listen. Theory without application is still just a theory.

4. Know your strength - and play with it.
You should know yourself better than anyone. That means you already know your own strength and weaknesses. You know your positive points, so play with it. Use it. Don't underestimate your power. You are better than you think you are! You possess all the natural abilities to be a better person each day, so utilize it! Use all your senses, skills, and everything that are given to you. Focus on your strength and those things that set you apart from everyone. It's unique to you and there's a reason why only you have it. Because only you can do it.

5. You can do it. Are you willing to do it?
Fish is not created to fly, so don't bother training fish to fly (lol!). But you are human though, you're not fish. So don't say I can't do this, I can't do that. You actually can, you're just not willing to do it. So one thing you can do to be better, is to be willing to do things that will push you out of your comfort zone. Try new things. Dare new adventures. Don't be afraid of failure. If you fail, just get up and try again. Easy.

6. Discipline.
A better person is the one that has the discipline to do good habits and leave bad habits behind. Habit is a repeatable process over and over again. Simple things done million times. Habit mold your character and before you it, you become. If you want to be better, have the courage to say no for things you must say no. Have the courage to say yes to progress and opportunities. And discipline yourself! Don't play games too much that you'll be tired the next day for school. Don't party up too long till late at night that you'll be sleepy at work the next morning. You  need to bring out your A game anytime, so develop healthy habits that support your school and work. And life.

And just in case you need more tips to be better, here you go. More ways to be better!

A Different Happiness

Once upon a time ago, I thought that I will be happier after I achieve either a certain status, finish a goal, or acquire something in life.

Boy, I was wrong.

I found out that happiness is not after a goal, after a finished task, after a graduation, after marriage, after Friday, after 5pm, after this, or after that.

Happiness is a CURRENT state of mind.

I found that no matter what is the situation, whether we are still in the journey on getting to our goals, finish line, or a certain accomplishment in our life, we need to continue to maintain our happiness level.

And also, I don't think it's happier now than in the past. I don't think we will be happier in the future rather than now, or vice versa. I think no matter what, past, present, future, if we are by nature a happy person, then we will be happy again.

Happy in the past.
Happy in the present.
Happy in the future.

It's a different kind of happiness.

The happy me in 2014 is different than the happy me in 2019. But it's still a happy time. The past is not all bad, there are some goodness in it too. It mold you until today. It builds your character. So don't throw away everything of the past. Just throw away the bad. Remember the good times. Cherish the happy moments.

Someone once told me, that he will be happier with another person. With another family.

So I test his theory.

I once had a family name M, L, and T.
Now I have a new family name G, J, and A.

And I am comparing between the two now. Am I happiER with my new family?

I would say, I am happy with the new one. But I was happy too with the old one. Why? Because they are different people. I had happiness with M, L, T in a special way. They touched my heart and made my life to the better. Now, my new family G, J, and A, they make me so happy too! They touched my heart in a surprising way that I never knew before! I love both families. Good and bad times.

Technically, I would love to live with everyone, live happily ever after.

But, of course it will be unrealistic of me, since the old family live in a different lifetime. Different land. That time has past. Gone. It's as if I want to live with my P again across the globe, in the previous century, but I can't, he already passed away 11 years ago.

Beside I'm focusing my life with my new loving family now. I'm enjoying this new kind of happiness! The joy, the laughter, the giggles, the concern, the chaos, the perfection, the everything in between. Enjoying small things in life and be grateful of what and who are given to you (read: to be trusted under your care).

It's a different happy. It's still happiness nonetheless.

Happy is happy. That's it. Simple.

One more thing. I think to be truly happy, you have to work for it. You have to want to be happy. You have to willing to do the work to be happy. That means, you have to try your best to get out from whatever it is that makes you unhappy. I know it's hard. If it's easy, everyone will already do it.

Happiness is a choice. Happiness is an effort. Happiness doesn't happen by accident. There is a conscious and continuous work (not physical work of course, more like a mental work). You have to make the decision to get out from the slump, and be happy again.

How to be happy?
1. Smile. Lift up the corners of your lips and smile.
2. Gratitude. This is the biggest action that will pull you towards the real happiness.
3. Be content. Don't burden yourself with irrational goals or insatiable wants. Have an "enough" mentality and accept your situation. You have everything you need. You don't have to always get all  you want. It's fine to have goals (we need too sometimes!), but don't let it make you unhappy.

Happy is a verb, right? So there you go. Easy.

BE HAPPY. Start today. Start now. :)