Another Key of Happiness

Acceptance.

Another key to happiness is acceptance. When you accept things the way they are. It is what it is.

It doesn't mean that we cannot change things to be better. Of course we always have to strive to do our best. But, we need to know the wisdom between changing things that we can change. And accepting things that we no longer can change anymore.

When we finally accept the fact at face value, such as death, divorce, and taxes, we give ourselves a chance to do our proper closure and move on to new reality. Sometimes we are afraid to let go because we get comfortable in our surrounding. Not realizing that the next condition in life might be ten times better than what we had. More often, we are being forced to change and get adjusted with the new situation, and then we realized that the new life is indeed way better than the old life.

Acceptance give us peace. Let go of those things that are heavy in your mind. Be more relaxed. Serenity. Lighten yourself. Accept it and move on. Don't keep fighting a losing battle. Letting go is not quitting. Letting go means you know when you cut your loss. Stop bleeding and start healing.

There are more important things to do rather than lingering in the past that is no longer fixable.  Accept it gracefully. Say thank you for the lesson. Make you more mature and wise. And go on focus on the next task. Life still goes on. You still need your time and energy to survive in the next chapter of life. You still need to eat, breathe, and take care of yourself. The sooner you can accept it, the easier you can face the next challenges in life. And life will still be challenging.

Accept it. And move on.

My Superpowers

So yesterday I had a conversation with an 8 year old. We were talking about our superpowers. After our deep discussion, we finally summarized what are my 7 superpowers are! Here we go.

Superpower #1 : Flying
It'll be very cool to just be able to fly, just like that! But then I won't enjoy the airplane then, hahaha!

Superpower #2 : See the future
It'll be tempting to see what happen in 2035, 16 years from now. I'm kinda curious what my future will be. Well, my boyfriend said that we will live in a nice house! Amen!

Superpower #3 : Breathe under water
It's kinda fun to be able to live for a moment under water. Imagine there's Atlantis Hotel or something like that. I guess I was influenced too much by Aquaman.

Superpower #4 : Always be happy
Life is not perfect. That means all the time happiness is impossible. But we can always choose to be content and grateful. I still want to have a happy life though.

Superpower #5 : Control time
Not necessarily stopping time, because I know time never stops. But I want to control my time, instead to be controlled by time. That means I have to clear out my schedule and have as few priorities as possible. This way I can free up my time and be more relaxed in life.

Superpower #6 : Infra-red vision
It's kinda cool to be able to see what happen behind that door. Or to be able to see things in the other part of the world. Well I guess that's what internet are for, huh?

Superpower #7 : The ability to stay skinny
Hohoho, this is definitely a super power! Willpower to not eat that second plate. The ability to say no to that cup of hot chocolate at 2pm because you know it'll give you 250 extra calories that you don't need!

This is so fun!! I love having conversation with her. Thank you, Angelica! ♥

Life Is Not Perfect

Life is never perfect.

There's always something that will bring you down. There's always one thing that always bugged you. There's always things that we wish don't go the other way.

But the key is to keep your optimism about life. Keep counting the other 99 things that go right in your life. To keep the gratitude. By focusing on what's right about life, we won't feel so depressed when things don't go our way.

It's just life.

That's the nature way of life. There's always yin and yang. A white dot in a pool of black, and a black dot in a sea of white. It's not full. It's never full. The cup is never really full or really empty. There's always spot here & there.

Being content is another key of having a peaceful life. Knowing that you did the best you can with what you have. Knowing that you do everything you can in your power to make things right. You don't control the outcome, but you control your actions. You can choose to do the right thing. And you did! So be content with the result. It is okay to not reach perfection.

It'll be a very stressful life if we always want to reach the absolute perfection. Perfectionism kills joy. Learning to let go. Let go of things that is not within your control. You only a human. Be kind to yourself. Always.

So here's my takeaway for today's happiness:
1. Be grateful.
2. Be content.
3. Be kind. Especially to yourself.
4. Always striving for the next level, but don't give up if you don't reach it. It's okay.
5. Find what's going right.
6. Always be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

You may not have everything you want, but you have everything you need. In this imperfect life.

End of the Tunnel

Today is such a great day!!!

What's happening today?

1. 14 years ago, I arrived in United States for the first time.

2. Exactly today, I finalized my divorce after 90 days waiting period. Done waiting!

3. Working together with great people at my work, my boss included! Greatest boss ever!

4. Watching a beautiful sunset on the way home.

5. Spending time with my boyfriend (Grant) and his 2 daughters. Enjoying quality time! Enchiladas dinner and bonding time. Love every minute of it! (Thanks Babe, for treating me tonight!).

Life is so good right now at Peggyland. Hehehehe. I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Life is so funny sometimes. Just half year ago I struggled so much with my personal life, with drama and heartache and tears in daily basis. Tried to keep fighting and fighting and finally just let life unfold in front of me. But fast forward to now, I finally found my happiness again. I started slowly walking towards the end of the tunnel in December 2018, slowly gaining my strength, and finally in March 2019, I'm grinning from ear to ear. Especially remembering the special moments I have together with my new man in my life. He's so amazing!

Thank you Jesus for your blessings. And thank you for all my friends who reading this and sharing my happiness with me. I can't be more happier, really! :)

I had a feeling that I'm going to smile a lot in the future... ^_^

Bills, Gas, and Dishes in the Sink

There are same principle that I applied when it comes to bills, gas, and dishes in the sink. I do it right away. I do it while they still "small". I don't wait until it all pile up.

For my bills, I do it right away when they come. I don't pile all the bills until it got into an unmanageable level. I don't wait until due date, ho ho ho, not me!

For gas, if I see the tank is between a quarter or half empty, I fill it right away. I don't even wait until half actually. A principle I inherited from my dad. Papa always said, when your gas reach a quarter empty, fill it out. You never know what happen in life that may make you not have a chance to fill it up. And before you know it, you'll reach the E line (aka Empty).

For dishes in the sink, I wash it right away. While it's only 1 or 2 plates. Do it NOW. That way my sink is always empty and free from dirty dishes. I love the emptiness of my sink. Feel so zen.

I feel so organized living this way. Everything is in order. And I love order in my life. Feel so peaceful, calm, and content with finishing things that I need to working on. I feel accomplished! Try out this principle. You may benefit on having less stress when it comes to pay bills, fill up gas, and washing dishes in the sink.

This principle I applied too to managing my email in my inbox. Once email come, I "work" on it. I either reply, work on the task of it, or file it in it's respected folders. Both my personal email and my work emails have some folders. This really helps me to organize emails. I could be really stress when I see 1000++ email on someone's inbox. It feels so cluttered and organized. And how you can find something on those gigantic massive piles of emails?

Do something while it small helps to make our life more efficient. That way we will gain more time too. Instead of spending 1 hour tackling bills, now you only spend 10 minutes max. Sometimes even less if you just paying 1 bill online. Click, click, and done!

Hope you can apply this tips and find this useful! After all, we all can live more peaceful with some organization and de-cluttered lives. Less stress this way.

Buy a house vs Rent an apartment?

When one can afford, of course the choice is to buy a house.

But buying a house is not just buying a house. From my experience as a homeowner for 9 years, buying a house is a responsibility.

In your apartment, if something breaks down, you can just call the maintenance and they fix it for you for free, without you have to worry calling your own plumber when the toilet doesn't work. But when you're a homeowner, well, you better have the directory of jack of all trades. Since when things broken, you gotta either fix it yourself, or be ready to shell out a shocking amount of money to fix whatever need to be fixed.

Also eventually things need to be replaced. Roof eventually need to be replaced and they are not cheap. When you want to become a homeowner, are you ready for this? Do you already set aside some house sinking funds to pay for all the maintenance at your property?

So now that I'm being back to single life again, it's just so simple me of me to just rent an apartment. I can save a lot of money so one day I can buy a house again, hopefully with my future husband! Whoever that is! :)

There's another choice - manufactured home. Aka mobile home. But I just don't feel like it. Buying a mobile home is kinda a cross between buying a real home and renting an apartment, because you don't own the land. You have to pay the rent for the land. And you know with renting, is always going up. Unless if you buy a manufacture home and buy the land together.

I am content living in my apartment now. I'm going to give it 2 years. It's not wasting money, actually it's saving money. Why? Because the cost is really make a difference. Owning a home is not just mortgage. It's utilities. It's fixing the stuff. It's setting aside money to fix fence, roof, future broken things. It's things so of course it will be broken.

Beside that, I don't feel I want to own a home when I'm single and never home. I work 40 hours a week minimum (and I work Saturday too occasionally, so there you go, about 43 hours/week). And on Sunday, I ran errands and like to do out and about. I rarely home. Possibly just enjoying my single life now. Hehehe. I feel that I want to own a home with my future new family. So we'll see.

So in the meantime, I'm saving money now by living in apartment. I only pay rent for the place for me to sleep, and the place for my car to sleep aka garage, hehehehe. It's cost effective. So now I can save, save, save!

I love my apartment. The management are so good. They also have great amenities like clubhouse, gym (yay free membership), pool, hot tub, and trash valet, plus security guards at night. How awesome!!! I'm just enjoying my life now! :) Enjoy it as long as I can before I buy my next house!

Want to be happy?

1. Don't be jealous.

2. Don't compare.

3. Gratitude.

4. Be content.

5. Take it easy and be peaceful.

3 Best Habits of Rich People

In this video, Dan Lok desribe the 3 best habits of rich people.

1. Count your money first.

2. Pay yourself first.

3. Improve your earning ability.

And Dan Lok closed it with this quote:

"You don't decide your future.
You decide your habits and your habits decide your future."

Contentment

I used to think that I want to be happy.

Boy, I was wrong!

As I grow up and become more and more mature, I learn in life that the secret of happiness is not by being happy. It's actually by being content.

Contentment is a state of mind where we may not have everything we want, but we are grateful and thankful for everything we already have.

Contentment is being satisfied with less, and not lured into a trap of having more. Basically, being content. The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have, and to be able to lose all desire for things beyond your reach. Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol, you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment.

I feel that if we truly want to be happier, we need to learn to be content with what we already have. Whether possession, people, activities, experience, or anything. We should really count our blessings and start making our gratitude list. Focus on the blessings we already possess.

If we keep chasing "happiness", doing anything in the name of "happiness", do whatever we want because we want to be "happy", we are just like a hamster in a wheel. Keep running and chasing and not really realizing that we already given so many good things that other people want! We should not use "happiness" to justify the wrongdoing we did. We shouldn't let go something good because we want something "better". That better is just an illusion. One day you'll wake up and realize that what you had was actually the best thing that ever happened to you. And that "better" is not really better, is actually worst but you were just blind in the moment.

When you can think of yesterday without regret, and tomorrow without fear, you are near contentment. Let go of the past. Let it go. It's already gone. Learn the lesson and move forward. Live in the present. And not too worry for the future. You prepare the future by living your best life now, at the present. That's how you would eliminate fear of living in the future.

William E Gladstone once said : be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won't have to hunt for happiness.

Contentment is the key of living in peace, calm, and state of tranquility. If you want to be happy, be content.

8 Tips From NowFuture

1. You wanna blow money? Put it in a "blow" category in your budget. At least admit it on paper!

2. If you don't have the money, you can't buy it!

3. The world will try to tell you that you need stuff to be somebody. Don't listen.

4. If you help enough people, you don't have to worry about money.

5. Success is a pile of failure that you are standing on.

6. You've got to tell your money what to do or it will leave.

7. Broke is normal. Why be normal?

8. Act your wage.

The Action Gratitude

Today is January 12, 2019, one of the happiest day in my life? Why? Because I feel so accomplished by having an action gratitude! Gratitude is not just being grateful for the things or people you have, but also being grateful for the activities you did! Your accomplishment!

Here's what I did so far today:

1. Blogging. I blog 4 Class of Love.

2. Making my own oatmeal breakfast while listening to Dan Lok's podcast.

3. Went to the gym and spend good 30 minutes there. Exercising with 3 different type of machines.

4. Went to Fred Meyer to do my weekly groceries shopping. Pump gas too, by myself.

5. Went to Party City to buy my party's preparation for next week: plates, cups, spoons, forks, knives,  tablecloths, 2 different type of napkins. And all in the blue theme since I love blue so much!

6. Went to the mall and enjoy life!
  a. Fix my bluetooth. It was not connected properly apparently. Thanks, Damien!
  b. Fix my new white working pant that I bought from White House Black Market. The pant was too long, so I have my tailor hemmed it. Will pick it up next Thursday. :)
  c. Having a nice 20 minutes massage at Orchid Massage. My therapist Shirley really knows how to make me relax and feel asleep. Took a good nap there!
  d. Bought 5 new candles from The Yankee Candles. Hmmmm, new scent at my home every morning.
  e. Bought 6 new earrings! Well, technically 3, since it's buy 3 get 3 free! Hehehehe.
  f. Bought a dozen of assorted mini cupcakes from Cupcakes Jones, the new cupcake store in the mall.

7. Cooked my lunch : Cauliflower & sausage fritata. And kale chips.

8. Having lunch while watching The Bible : The Samson and Delilah episode. Lesson learned, Samson, lesson learned. The lunch was wonderful, finishing off with cantaloupe fruits and 2 mini cupcakes (red velvet & german chocolate) as the dessert.

9. Went hot tubbing. Enjoying the green scenery of my beautiful apartment complex! While in the hot tub, I enjoy a hot chai latte too, courtesy of my apartment staff! Isn't that wonderful?

10. Doing laundry.

11. Took a lovely shower with my favorite soap from The Bath & Body Works. Hmmmm, it's Whipped Vanilla & Spice.

12. Swiffer my apartment, both the sweeper and the wet jet. Also dusting the shelves too. Simply cleaning!

13. Facebook : upload new photos and captioning the albums.

14. Talked with my cousin Jeffrey who lives in Canada via Whatsapp

15. Talked with my friend Sandra about our appointment next Sunday. Too bad we should take a rain check for now.

And now it's only 3.26 pm! Oh boy! That means I still have time to do the next thing I want to do : play Kindle games, reading the Necessary Endings book, finishing watching The Bible, cook dinner, facebooking, putting clean laundry away, paying bills, and etc!

I love this action gratitude journal. It makes me feel so productive and creative. I get to do anything I want to do and I need to do. I love having time of my own now. Most likely Monday to Friday, for 8 hours my time is not mine, is my company's. Which I don't mind because I do really like working anyway. I don't work to be rich. I work because I love working. And having compensation is enough to extend my living. :)

When this blog is finished, that means I finish 1 more thing on my plate : Finishing 2nd blog of the day! Wow! Usually I blog just once a day, or once a week, or once every blue moon, lol. This time I'm on fire! :)

4 Class of Love

There are 4 class of love:

1. Love Eros
2. Love Because
3. Love Eventhough
4. Love Agape

So let's look deeper into each one of these love.

1. Love Eros.
Love Eros is the physical love. It's the law of attraction. We are attracted to someone because of their looks, personality, or any external factors that make us drawn to that person.  Love Eros is similar to lust. We want that person to be ours because that person looks perfect in our eyes. We don't see their negative habits yet. We don't want to see their shortcoming. All we see is just rainbow. This is where lot of people say "Love is Blind."

2. Love Because.
Love because he/she loves me back. Love because she take care of my children. Love because he is a hardworking guy who never afraid of work. Love because give us reason why we love that person. This is the second level of love. No longer because of physical love, but we look deeper beyond the looks. Love because he and I had been married for 10 years. Love because whatever that because reason is.

3. Love Eventhough
My dad used to say that Love Eventhough is the hardest type of love. Because this love, is a love, eventhough that person hurt you. Eventhough you're not together anymore. How you can still show love eventhough the love chapter seems to be over? It requires a very big heart and humble soul to be able to display love eventhough. Love that continue to be giving from the heart eventhough that person no longer love you anymore. Love eventhough they don't care about you. But you still love them nonetheless. It doesn't mean you want to be abused and neglected, but that means you still treat them with respect as a human being, with dignity, with integrity.

4. Love Agape.
This is God's love. This is God's love for us. And our love for God. This is the ultimate class of love. How we can continue to love God although sometimes He seems distant? But we have to believe that God always love us, no matter what we do, where we are, or when we are (when we young or old). God's love is always and forever. For eternity. Until our soul is gone from our body. And until we one day join our Heavenly Father for good.

La Vita E Bella

La vita è bella. Life is beautiful.

This movie inspires me so much! 

I firstly saw this movie on the tour bus in Italy, 2004, when me and my Standard Chartered Bank colleagues went there. This movie was so powerful and inspiring, that I got to get the DVD the minute I get back to Indonesia! And I brought that movie to USA in 2005.

This movie still inspires me until today. Because of this movie, I believe that my life now and in the future will still beautiful.

Thank you, Roberto Benigni. ♥

The Rich Mindset

Dan Lok's podcast tells it all :

1. Poor people watch TV, rich people read books.
2. Poor people get paid based on time, rich people get paid based on results.
3. Poor people blame others for their misfortunes, rich people take responsibility for our own failures.
4. Poor people focus on saving, rich people focus on investing.
5. Poor people think they know it all, rich people continuously learn.
6. Poor people believe that money is the root of all evil, rich people believe that poverty is the root of all evil.
7. Poor people have a lottery mentality, rich people have an action mentality.

This is what Brian Tracy call it the Wealth Mindset.

For me, the rich or wealth mindset comes from the principle of abundance. Instead of thinking of scarcity, think of abundance. See some areas that you already "rich". What do you have a lot right now?

When I moved from my house to my apartment, I didn't realize that I was rich in ... hangers! I have like millions hangers!! Well, I came from a family of four adults, with their own clothes and hangers. And suddenly now I am a family of 1, inherit all those hangers, hahahaa!! But you get my point. See an area where you have a lot, and you are "rich" in that particular area.

Now obviously we live in this planet earth. As long you live here, and not in Mars, the standard of "rich" is define as a materialistic ones, aka money and possession. But seriously, you don't have to have a lot of money or possession to feel rich. Money and stuff are indicators of how well you are in life. You worked so hard but nothing to show it? Well, then use your money wisely. So this way in the future finally you have something to show it!

To want to be rich, first we have to have the right mindset first. Have the rich mindset, then do what the rich do. Learn what the rich learn. Live how the rich live. Most rich people they actually being frugal, use coupons, and they live under their means. They use their resources wisely. So all start with having the right attitude and mindset of becoming rich.

Living Debt-Free

As I was sitting in the Umami Cafe inside the Portland Japanese Garden, I reflect how my life is right now. With all the tall greenery surrounded me, and the breathtaking view of the zen garden, I daydream to my current situation. I am living debt-free. And how liberating is that.

For me, living debt free means I can choose to spend my money without the burden to pay the creditor. So with little money that I have, I bought this cute blue fan, complete with it's golden "sheath". And this beautiful fan is matching the painting in this wall screener. Isn't that cool?

This fan will have a dual purpose at my home!
1. In the winter - spring time, it'll be an artwork decoration in my bedroom.
2. In the summer - fall time, it'll be a real fan when it's hot in the summer! I always like real paper fan anyway compared to AC. It's so fancy, stylish, and reminds me of those Asian noble lady in the last centuries or so! :)

Dave Ramsey was right. The life is different when you live debt-free. Not any single debt at all. It doesn't mean a life without expenses. There's still bills to pay, food to buy, and all the necessities of life to be taken care of. But living debt-free means we are free from debt. Free from bondage.

So now, the money that I make, I can direct it towards anything I want. At the moment, I'm putting 30% away to retirement, 10% to savings, and just live with 60% of what I've made. I don't make much (well... not as much as I want to.... yet!), but I'm training myself to live with less than what I've made. I'm not going to full blast my expenses to match 100% of my income.

The good news of living debt free, is that now I get to choose from the menu. I can choose the $4 Mochi Ice Cream (premium chocolate ice cream ball wrapped in sweet rice dough) or the $8 Manju's bean paste pastry. Although I have the power to buy the $8 dessert, I still choose the $4 dessert. Why? This way I have enough to tip the nice waitress! Somehow I'm already trained to look for the least expensive price for the same quality of the things. Well I know mochi and manju are not apple to apple, but in my eyes, they are simply dessert. If I can only choose one dessert today,... I choose Mochi. But my taste might be different tomorrow though! Maybe next time I visit the garden, I'll try that Manju! :)

I want to thank you my parents. I saw them living debt-free when I was a child growing up in Jakarta, Indonesia. Their house is fully paid off. They bought a foreclosed home and make it their own. They renovate the kitchen and make it modern. All with cash, no credit. Their car is bought (means they pay upfront all of it, no installment loans). They use their credit card for convenience, and they pay it off every month before the due date. My parents are the perfect example of how living debt free means. And I carry that image until now I'm living in my fourth decade.

I want to thank Dave Ramsey. I read his book Total Money Makeover (twice!) thru my Kindle, and that book changed my life. Dave taught me that it is possible to live debt-free. I won't be where I am today without him.

I also want to thank Chris Hogan. Chris reminds me that the race is not finished. After debt free, I still have to strive to fund my future days ahead aka retirement. His motto is "I'm focused but not finished", rang true to my every single day. I am focused on my goals, and I not finished yet, I am still running this "marathon. I am looking forward to read his next new book : Everyday Millionaires. Already pre-order it! Waiting it to be arrived in my Package Concierge locker in my apartment!

I want to thank Rachel Cruze. Her book : Love Your Life, Not Theirs, is really an eye opener for me. Rachel taught me to focus on my life, not anyone else. When I shifted the focus to myself, I get to work on myself. I can stop comparing to the Joneses. The Joneses ain't that great. They look great because we only see the surfarce, we only see their Facebook photos and Instagram post. But we don't see their struggle while they are sitting in their dining table, trying to rob Peter to pay Paul.

My parents, Dave, Chris, Rachel.  People that had changed my life for good. Wherever you are, whether you can read this post or not, just know that you have my gratitude. I love you and I will always do. I will never forget the kindness, the life lessons, and how big was the impact you've made to me and my life.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Thanks to all of you now I can truly live debt-free. For good.

A lesson from Dan Lok

I was listening to Dan Lok's podcast this morning.

I learn from him that in this life we go through 4 stages:

1. Survival stage.
He learn this from a very young age. Make sense. When we were young, we go into,"A survival mode." We are to survive.

2. Security stage.
Paying bills, have roof over our head, got a car, taking care of your family.

3. Success stage.
Not everyone will be in here. Just a percentage of people will move to stage 3. When you're successful, you don't have everything you need, you have everything you want.

4. Significant stage.
It's no longer just about you. It's no longer about here's what I want. It's about a legacy. What's your impact. What do you want to leave behind? What do you want to be known for after you gone?

The hardship, the tragedy, that might be the greatest thing that ever happened to you. It all depends on how you interpret it.

If you're not grateful with what you have, you're not going to be grateful when you have more.
(This for me basically means, if you're not happy now, you won't be happy later. Very true, Dan!)

Be grateful with what you have while you strive for more.

Tough Yet True Love

When you truly love someone, you have to let him/her go. You have to let them live the way they want to live. If they love you and want to be with you, they will find their way back home. And if not, then it is what it is.

Love sometimes is letting them fail. Letting them learn their own mistakes so they can grow.

Love sometimes is purposely to not do anything to "save" them. If we keep rescuing them, they will never learn. It will create co-dependency. It will not make them grow. It stunted their maturity. We are doing a disservice if we keep "helping" them.

This is what tough love is. It's tough, and it comes from the heart. We just want the best for them. And sometimes, the best is to let them do things they want to do and have them learn to face the consequences.

Just the same thing when mother bird is trying to teach her baby bird how to fly. She pushes her baby bird off the nest so the baby bird can start learning to flap its own wings. If the mama bird keep "protecting" her baby, by shielding the baby from the truth harsh fact of life, then the baby bird will never learn to fly. And when the baby bird becomes an adult, she will just stay in her nest, comfortable fed by the mama bird until the mama bird dies. And then what happened? Is the adult baby bird going to start fly then when she's 63 years old? When the mama bird no longer alive and now she has to feed her own self?

Experience is the best teacher.

And we can only get experience by trial and error. By learning from our mistake and find out the right way. Mistake is not a failure. Mistake is simply a wrong way of doing things. So we continue to learn until we find the right way of doing things. Of thinking things. Of feeling things.

Now that is true love. You have true love in your heart for your "loved" ones when you truly can let them go, and free them to live whatever lifestyle they want to live. Love doesn't mean we always be together. Love means that I love you. And I accept you the way you are. Even though we are not together anymore. For now.

This blogpost is dedicated to all the people I love. You know who you are.

TBT vs FF

For now, I'm no longer going to do TBT - Throwback Thursday. You know, putting pictures in Facebook of your younger days, reminiscing.

Instead I'm going to do FF - Future Friday. I'm going to put my vision there. Where I'm going to be next. What I'm going to do next. What do I WANT to be when I "grow up".  This activity is what I called : Futuring.

Doesn't matter if I reach it or not. Doesn't matter if it will happen or not. What matter is I'm looking forward instead of looking back. This is more like a vision board for me, virtually.

Why always looking back at the past? What's in the past anyway? You've learned the lesson, right? Move on!!!

Am I living in the 20th century now?

No! I am now living in the 21st century! So now the way I think, do, and live must be aligned with how the 21st century living. It's progressive thinking, not regress. It's learning environment, not just stay with the past glories.

Your achievement in the past are great, but keep working to the next project! Don't linger there. Do you know what happen if Walt Disney just stop at making Snow White and that's it? Do you know what happen if Leonardo DiCaprio just stop at Titanic and that's it? (Hint : Click the link above to see what happen if Walt or Leo stop).

Today, Friday, Jan 4, 2019, here's what I put in my Facebook:

FF (Future Friday) - Instead of posting TBT, I'm now going to post FF! This is where I'm going to be in the next 38 weeks! Yeah!!! ^_^

#FF #NY #StatueofLiberty

Basically FF is a form of a written goal, well in this case, a posted goal. Make my goal known so this way I can be hold accountable. It's not just the activities of what I'll do. It's where I want to be next in life. So maybe next Friday, I'll post my dream job. My vision in my career life. Maybe I'll post which people that I'm going to meet? Barack Obama perhaps?

This is a way to keep me motivated and moving forward. And up! Just like my 2019 New Year's resolution.

FF is a new trend now. World, watch out!

Life Coach

"We are not meant to be alone." - Genesis 2:18.

Basically it doesn't mean that we have to be paired one by one. This simply means that we are human beings with social needs. We need other people to survive in this world. Even when we become a couple, we still need other people too.

Do you have a car? Do you work on your car yourself when it broke? Yes if you are a mechanic. But if you have no experience in handling your car, would you do it yourself? You would bring it to your mechanic, right? There you go. You need a mechanic to fix your car!

Do you grow your own foods? In daily basis? Make your own bread from scratch? Milk the cow? You need farmers to do those things for you. You need the delivery driver to transport the goods between the farmer to the store. And if you are one of those people who do online shopping including your groceries, you still need UPS or Fedex to bring your items to your home.

In everything we do, we need other people. And to be more successful in life, we need to continue learning. The skills we learned 20 years ago now become more and more obsolete.

Imagine 400-500 years ago. When becoming a great blacksmith was still a popular job. There's this kid that wants to grow up to be his dad, the most popular blacksmith in his town. His dad can make any knights proud from the swords he made. His dad can make a beautiful sharp dagger complete with the rhinestones on the hilt. Simply put, if you go to his dad's blacksmith shop, guaranteed you'll have the most dangerous weapon on earth. You can wipe your enemies with one swing.


The kid perfected his craft every single day to be the next great blacksmith. He never stop learning. Until one day, he accidentally sleep for a very long time and wake up in the year of 2019. He woke up and realize that now there are no more blacksmith around. There are even no more knights and squires around to be his dad's customers! The skills that this kid learnt is obsolete. There's no need to be a blacksmith anymore, since even the kitchen knives are produced in the factory.

This story illustrates that we need to continue learning of skills that will still relevant in the future. And as for me, the one thing that will still relevant is life skills. How to handle life perfectly. Let's be optimist. We're still going to live for the next 40-50 years down the road right? So if we still live until that long, why don't we get help from other people to better our lives?

Get a life coach!

Life coach is somebody (or a group of people) that will be your mentor in life. Life coach is like a personal trainer, they are there to coach you to be better in life. They won't tell you how to live your life, that's up to you. But they will teach you the skill to get ahead in life.

You can read books, listen to podcasts, and surround yourself with knowledge all day. But you will be more effective when you incorporate a real human being to help you along the way with this journey we call life. It can be anybody! It can be your family that's richer in experience than you. It can be your teachers in school. It can be your boss and coworkers who had done it. It can be anyone!

I realized that now I am where I am now because I have so many life coaches! They all different people with unique perspective and individualists, making my experience more diverse and colorful. The benefit I reap from having life coaches are so many. I can learn from their life stories. I can be warned for things I shouldn't do and avoid. I can be shown new ways to improve my lifestyle, from beauty tips to healthy eating to strong mindset.

If you want to better your life, find a mentor or two. Ask their opinion. Get feedback. Only by honest coaching we will grow. We don't want to be stuck in the rut, right? We want to keep growing in life, like bamboo. Never stop learning. Especially from the life coaches! Your future self will thank you later. :)

Choose Your Attitude

Only dead people don't have stress. - Susan David.

I heard that line this morning as I get up and in my morning routine, listening to Ted Talk and learning a thing or two.  I think of those words. I reflect what's the deeper meaning behind it.

Only dead people don't have problems, isn't it? Only dead people don't have struggles and challenges in life. As long we still alive, we will always face dilemma, choices, difficult problematic situation. But it's up to us how we choose our attitude. It's up to us to use our resources, like our minds and emotions, to "respond" to the challenge in life. It's our internal response that determine our action, not the other way around.

I always want to think positive, and practice that every single moment. Not day, but in moment. In a day, there's 24 hours. 1440 minutes. 86,400 seconds. So every second, I think positive. I feel positive. When there's challenging situation, I took a step back and take a deep breath. Calm my feelings. And use my brain to logically think the alternatives scenarios and solutions to the problem. Of course this resolution could take days, weeks, and months. But eventually in the end of the problem, I've gained clarity. I am able to be wise and not rushing into hasty decisions.

It's not a matter of just thinking. Feeling too. Our emotions are part of our self. It's being a human being. We can't just dismiss our feelings and just think, think, think. No. Actually, part of the unique reason why we are a supreme beings (what differentiate us between human, animal, and plants), is our ability to think and feel at the same time. Our emotions are one of the best aspect of us. We use our creativity, feelings, and produce beautiful things such as arts and music.

So now, with the power of combining our logical thinking ability, and our strong emotional feelings, we should be able to choose our attitude wisely. The problem that happens to us are just 10%. 90% of it is how we choose to respond. We can choose the easy way out, or the natural response that we have been using for the last 3-4 decades we alive in this world. Or.... we can train ourselves to be one step better. We can be better. Think and feel better. Think and feel positive first. See the silver linings. Don't give up if you fail. Try and try again. It does requires practice.

One of my leader in Standard Chartered Bank, Mr. Darmadi, always emphazised the power of attitude. It's our attitude that differentiate us from the other peer.  If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, accept it. And move on. And change our attitude about it. Our perspective. We probably need to replace our lens.

Remember, once the negativity talks, try to drag you down, resist it. Don't succumb into temptation. Don't allow self-destruct thinking at all. Instead focus on what's right. Be grateful for your situation, no matter how good or bad it is. It is always easy to be thankful when you have everything you want. So the real challenge is, how to stay thankful when you have nothing going your way. It's an art. And like always, it's requires practice.

And when I talk about this topic, I can't exclude two special people in my life that reminds me in daily basis to choose my attitude. My leader in Bank of America, Angie Overall, and my co-pilot Edward Bernstein. Iron sharpens iron. We always challenge each other to have a bright positive attitude about anything that happen to our working day. And not only that, to our lives as well. To our health, both physically and mentally. I am thankful to be in their circle!

Choose your attitude. In daily basis. In every single moment. You will have a better life when you have a better attitude.